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How are you in one word?? v. Who? What? Where? How? When?

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pissed... and scared.

i hate you. you're controlling, selfish, CRAZY, and everything about you drives me nuts. i wont be tied to you anymore. you're not gonna control me anymore. this isn't love. we're both using eachother.
 
^ excellent n3o! You deserve some tranquility :) <3

I'm pretty relaxed myself :)
 
HurtDisappointedUpsetAlrightIGuessWorkingOnOkayTryingToForgiveandSomewhatHappy

Long word week again I guess :\
 
Love to Ocean<3


@Oncur:Rainbows! ;)<3


godlovesugly said:
pissed... and scared.

i hate you. you're controlling, selfish, CRAZY, and everything about you drives me nuts. i wont be tied to you anymore. you're not gonna control me anymore. this isn't love. we're both using eachother.
Click to expand...

You are a strong one, your insight neededn't defeat you. ;)<3



Full of Life(Inspecting: good and bad and everything inbetween and outisde) :)
 
@Oncor--I like your word. It goes from discouraged to hopeful all in one word.:)

n3o--glad to hear it--you do deserve it.<3
Ocean--take care<3
@Effie--ahhhhh!<3
Asclepus--bravo!<3

Me: exhausted (but just from work--no biggie:))
 
Hesitant

Today my therapist (one of them) suggested I write a goodbye letter to my ex. (not to give) Though our contact is minimal I am still caring for him and leaving the door open so to speak, for future opportunities. I feel like he owes me things physically, in fact I'm supposed to be getting a box from him with some cool shoes, pictures of our daughter, who knows what else. My motives are 2fold: I want him to give me things (feels lame), and I want to maintain his trust because I care about how he feels. But I don't want him at all, it's just hard to let go. It's not fair that I'm leading him on.

As soon as therapist said, "goodbye letter to Ben" I actually started crying. I have been blue all day since. I once wrote a goodbye letter to my drug of choice. Let me tell you that was an awkward experience. Even though the letter was sincere I guess I kept in my mind the possibility of using it again. Similarly this time I really have to let him go. I'm going to wait for the package to come in the mail before I'm able to really write it, it won't be sincere otherwise.

Also I want to say that even though I don't respond to people directly much, I observe a lot. Even in the digital world I am pretty good at isolating. Until I need to share something, I open right up. Much <3 no matter.
 
hopeless.

I am so tired of feeling like shit every time i wake up. for the past month i have lost interest in everything i once loved, im not showing up to school, i am becoming antisocial and avoiding my best friends, I am doing shitty at my job. My life is going down the drain and I dont even have the energy to care. I cant eat or sleep, im only 17 ....why do i feel like this. I have felt like shit before but its never been like this. Every day I think of suicide, every day i let myself down and my parents. Its killing me see what this is doing to them, they are hurting because of my bullshit.
 
Walk? might help some

Also, lying on your back, if you are up to it- try this:
A) Pull one knee (bend leg) up to your chest, exhale.
B) Lie both legs flat again.
C) Pull other knee up to chest.
D) Lie both legs flat again.
E) Then, both knees bent together up to your chest.


I promise this will help. Breathe deeply while doing so. You will expel gas. GL
 
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D's said:
feeling pretty bum'd out.. was only able to spend a little over 2 hours with my girlfriend before she had to get ready 2 go 2 work, atleast we both caught an AA meeting together so that was good.
I don't know what it is.. I love her to death, and she tells me that she loves me too.. but I dunno. I don't know why i'm feeling like this. like I lost something that ment a lot to me. I hope she means what she tells me (that she loves me), my heart is hers no matter what.
It's hard on my emotions i guess, i'm off drugs and dont drink so i cant cover the emotions up so i'm having to deal with them sober. which i've done before but not like this.
I don't want things to get weird between us, what i mean by that is i don't want us to be quiet i guess riding in the car together, or walking around, or laying on a blanket in the park.
I really hope that she's the one for me, I don't even want to think what would happen if something were to go wrong..

o not to mention my prepaid phone is outa mins, so cant text.. I can still see who calls be so i can call back atleast..

i want Rachel in my arms right now. it hurts me that she's away right now, and wont be able to see her until tommorow.

also i'm still reallllyyy bummed out about melange(tom) passing away, i've already delt with the i dont beleive that it happened feeling, and now i'm just really fucking sad. :'(
Click to expand...

my girl's in recovery as well, D's. Its a good feeling but... holy shit it is definitely true what they say that you learn about yourself when you get into a relationship. All kinds of feelings and insecurities come from nowhere and hit us. Its confusing. I figure all we gotta do is keep doing the right thing for the right reason, avoid overthinking and communicate honestly.

Sometimes that ain't so easy though :\

Hang strong until tomorrow, man... its good to feel for others but don't make her your everything.

On a side note... call me sometime ya knucklehead! :)
 
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