How are you in ONE word?? v. pumpkin pie

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Void.. of motivation, of love for things i used to love, of emotions today had to hear some pretty hard shit and cant feel anything although i know i should be deviastated. Void and obselete of the world it is today, All you have to do is look back 10 yrs to the pre 9/11 incident and you could relate to that if ur old enuf to remember:(
 
OD: Shit, seriously? What happened. PM if necessary.

Will do. I feel some sort of way about it but I'm covering it up with just saying 'fuck it' so I'm pretty much in shutdown mode. I knew this wasn't right for a coupla months now.

I don't associate any value to my bday but, for some reason, it really fucking bothers me that this happened yesterday.

Fuck it. I think I've been waiting for this anyway. I just need to be more selective in the future
 
Scared. Scared this move isn't going to change anything but make it all entirely worse.
 
One word cant even come close to describing what im feeling now.
Make me pick one and it would be mixed/fucked up
I really didnt need today to pan out the way it did.
 
I can't really say it all in one word... Enlightened, hopeful, thoughtful, relaxed, rejuvenated, loving, passionate and looking forward to the future... Can anyone give me a word that would appropriately fit everything I've so far mentioned?
 
I can't really say it all in one word... Enlightened, hopeful, thoughtful, relaxed, rejuvenated, loving, passionate and looking forward to the future... Can anyone give me a word that would appropriately fit everything I've so far mentioned?

I like to cram all that in to apotheosis, but that might be out of my own desire to become a god-king

I feel alive.
 
Will do. I feel some sort of way about it but I'm covering it up with just saying 'fuck it' so I'm pretty much in shutdown mode. I knew this wasn't right for a coupla months now.

I don't associate any value to my bday but, for some reason, it really fucking bothers me that this happened yesterday.

Fuck it. I think I've been waiting for this anyway. I just need to be more selective in the future

Ugh...Giant Hugs and much love to ya OD. <3<3<3

(and I swear im not taking advantage of your fine self in a vulnerable situation ;))bad j/k

Seriously though, that sucks...what you say there makes sense...i know, with me, it takes me a while to assimilate these things...so be good to you, kay? Whether atm or further on down the way; when there is an opening to berate yourself. <3 <3 <3


Scared. Scared this move isn't going to change anything but make it all entirely worse.

Apprehension is a horrible feeling hun. Sounds like a gamble your taking. Nothing is insurmountable and cant be changed, even though it feels that way. Wishing you the best whatever ensues you will get through it/change it. <3

One word cant even come close to describing what im feeling now.
Make me pick one and it would be mixed/fucked up
I really didnt need today to pan out the way it did.

SMFG <3 I hate being confused about shit- sometimes id rather feel down than unsure and frustrated. :p
Hope things become clearer for you hun. <3

^so glad for this^ ((<3))

atm: concerned

Also glad snowboarders here posting! :) <3

Herb: What up honey? <3



ATM- calm
 
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^ thank you asclepius... spending time in here today... if i dont i feel like ill slip again like i did last night...messing around with the animoog and the korg ms-20 .. trying to stay occupied..
 
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^ thank you... <snip> and listening to "fifths"... the melody of it keeps me calm.... good thing though is i had my friend come by earlier and pick up my 9... i know i shouldnt be drinking at 3 in the afternoon but i jsut felt like complete crap this afternoon... sigh,... fail.....
 
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