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How Are You In One Word v. I know the feeling!

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Mollified

I was discharged after detox and sent home, a distressing verdict for me, and I'd no assurance of returning to treatment. That's until an hour ago when I was told they'd take my poor soul tomorrow. Back on the path to firebranded salvation.

EDIT: Thank's Asclepius & stardust - just saw your posts and wanted to pass along a "hello," as if from a gliding car.
 
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Damn we're all down in the dumps today :(

Much love to all of you, I hope your days/weeks improve <3 <3 <3
 
Better

I'm choosing to separate myself from my really good friend right now just because I'm getting myself more and more upset over her selfishness and neglect basically to the point where I'm going to get myself madder and madder and put myself further into the wrong. I typically do this, I just keep getting mad and then I eventually forget why I'm even mad and I just stay mad and freak out more.
 
Tired


My lady lady made a suprise visit, and she saw my pit bull again. I had told her I was going to find her a home, but it is almost impossible because people distrust them. Even though Aliie, my pit bull, is as sweet as pie. She sleeps with my cat at my feel for crying out loud, lol.
The reason my lady lady came was to bring me a cake for my oldest daughters birthday and I had been doing laundry and it wasn't as clean as I would have liked it to be in the living room.
I have been at the doctors twice this week over where, her daiughters dog, bite me.
Plus my washing machime went out, then two days later the dryer goes out. So I went out and rented a washer/dryer combo for now, but I still need time to get caught up. The washer and dryer is smaller then the ones I used to have so it is taking more time with the cloths, but WTH. It's getting done.
I just wished I would have known she was coming I would have had my mother keep Allie for a while until she came. I mean Allie is older and she isn't causing any damage I don't see the harm in it.
Anyways, my lady says she would see me tomorrow. So hopefully and maybe her and I will talk this out. I already paid my rent on time again. Which I always do, so she can't be upset for the money part. I just hope we can work Allie out. If not I guess I will be moving. Life can be so good one minute then turn straight to shit the next.
I will let all of you know an update about tomorrow.

Love and Light. Stella XXXX
 
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Badfish: Sorry to hear people are still presenting frustration for you, buddy. You seem like such a nice and caring guy, so from my perspective, it is particularly affronting someone would treat you badly :\ It seems you've a real awareness for how you tick, and hence a better chance of alleviating your own burden. Best of luck!

Stella!!!!: Sorry for yelling - that name always makes me want to do The Street Car Named Desire holler :) But, in all seriousness, that's a bummer about your pitbull. Despite the perception of the public, I've never met a pitbull any less sweet than sugar =D Someone will love her as much as you I'm sure.
 
If I could find a word to describe this I would type it down.

Not necessarily bad but not necessarily good either.... Oh I know, Lost
 
ashamed. have to see my family for my sis's birthday on sunday and everyone is going to be swimming while i wear long sleeves in 95 degree whether because i decided to turn my arms into a pin cushion tonight with blow. my family is oblivious to my 4 year drug addiction mainly to opiates now benzos from previous opiate kick attempt. Now the bell ringer has gotten its grip on me making me spend every penny. i just fucking turned 20 and have so much offer, support, and a great family and this is what my parents get a low life drug consumed kid. what have i done to myself...

peace and love bluelight went through 20 pins tonight and finished them off going to toss all of my 1 puncture stash sharp bag and try to not be a piece of shit and get away from the needle..
 
^
been there, and done that before geraggh34, i used some waterproof revlon/makeup stuff and like colored my arms like they were a kintergarden science project. my track scars still show, as a reminder of what i fucking did 2 myself 3-10 times on a daily basis.(and even more on blow).
get off the junk man, dont wind up like me with a great family,but sleeping in my car and in homeless missions/shelters, i thought i could hide that shit forever..oboy i was wrong. get clean for ur sake, ur family will still love u regardless of what u do. fucking smash that rig with a fuckin brick bro all of em, hell tie em 2 a rock n throw that shit n the ocean.

i'm happy, grateful to be alive today unlike so many of some of my best friends whose lifes are now over because of this shit.
 
Low-Self-esteem (I'm counting that as one word)

I want to hide. I'm so embarrassed of who I am now and who I've become. I think I'm really ugly. I don't brush my teeth everyday anymore, i don't shower for days.. sometimes almost a week. I've been isolating from everyone cuz I can't face myself and as much as they say they are not judging me and that they love me, I judge myself more critically when I'm around people.. I just wish I had a gun sometimes.. i'm so lonely but it's cuz I don't get out and see friends or family! ...also, drugs have made me stupid.. well that was my whiney little complaining session! thank you BL!
 
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