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How Are You In One Word v. I got a feelin'

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Productive. I managed to fold 3 loads of laundry and organize my closet and clothes by season! =D
 
Apprehensive

DISCLAIMER -don't read this while you're eating!

*Deep breath* Over the last 2 weeks,I have erm... passed a large amount of blood three times,and also had some black stools which indicates some internal bleeding.I tried to ignore it at first and hoped it would go away,but the third time it happened I sucked up the courage to see a doctor.

After an examination (ugh I'm still traumatised!! ) she said that the bright red blood was from a wicked case of internal haemmoroids,but doesn't explain the dark blood and she also found a mix of blood and mucous further up that indicates another problem.She doesn't know what the other problem is,but as I have a family history of bowel cancer,I have to have a colonoscopy to see what's wrong with me.She said to try not to freak out,as severe stress can do strange things to your body,but I'm terrified of both having the procedure,and what the results will be.I've been having near constant stomach and lower back pain and stabbing pains lower in my abdomen.

Also feeling angry because I've had nothing but severe stress for so long now...I can't take much more...fuck the world :(
 
ah, ms. nervosa, that's really rough going. How are you holding up? Please update your condition when you figure out what is causing such traumatic blood loss.

I can't reply to the thread tho.

I feel a lot of stuff right now.
 
Thanks ugly, I'm kind of swinging between doing my damndest to distract myself,having anxiety attacks,and irrational outburts of anger.I'm lucky my boyfrind has been really attentive to me and has been cooking dinner every night and trying to minimise any stress and insisting I rest.

The consultation is next monday,then they book the procedure date from there.I'll keep you guys updated.

Are you ok ugly? <3
 
theartofwar said:
grateful - life puts the answers in front of my face each day and as I accept the right thing, even if it is harder, I am finding so many areas of my life have been built up. Slowly I am making more and more friends who I at very least are down with me even though I certainly have baggage. And somehow I really have for the first time felt content in my own skin, even though I still see everything i want to change inside and out, I am able to smile and know that nobody can take my confidence in freedom found in honesty. So grateful.
Click to expand...

This. This right here is what it's all about.

I dig swinging by here (the place that helped me, called me out on my shit and never judged) and seeing people practicing principles that I still need to learn.

My word

Single
 
MissNervosa said:
Apprehensive

DISCLAIMER -don't read this while you're eating!

*Deep breath* Over the last 2 weeks,I have erm... passed a large amount of blood three times,and also had some black stools which indicates some internal bleeding.I tried to ignore it at first and hoped it would go away,but the third time it happened I sucked up the courage to see a doctor.

After an examination (ugh I'm still traumatised!! ) she said that the bright red blood was from a wicked case of internal haemmoroids,but doesn't explain the dark blood and she also found a mix of blood and mucous further up that indicates another problem.She doesn't know what the other problem is,but as I have a family history of bowel cancer,I have to have a colonoscopy to see what's wrong with me.She said to try not to freak out,as severe stress can do strange things to your body,but I'm terrified of both having the procedure,and what the results will be.I've been having near constant stomach and lower back pain and stabbing pains lower in my abdomen.

Also feeling angry because I've had nothing but severe stress for so long now...I can't take much more...fuck the world :(
Click to expand...


My mother had the same thing black in her stool and blood also the first time it happened she actually almost bled out she lost allot of blood, they had to put at least 2-3 bags of blood back into her and the fucked up thing was there was no reason for it, she was in the the hospital for a week and they didnt know what was wrong they said she had bleeding ulcers and some how they broke and she started to bleed out. They had no clue what the problem was, so fast forward to today she still has the bloody and black stool so she went to the dr. and was diagnosed with stage 3 kidney disease that wont get better only worse they also did a colonoscopy and they found nothing, so that is what she has now and we are trying to get through it , your story reminded me of that so check with your doctor, her bloody stool stopped and she takes a bunch of meds, but that night we almost lost her I have never seen anyone loose that much blood and still be alive.
 
Hazey420 said:
My mother had the same thing black in her stool and blood also the first time it happened she actually almost bled out she lost allot of blood, they had to put at least 2-3 bags of blood back into her and the fucked up thing was there was no reason for it, she was in the the hospital for a week and they didnt know what was wrong they said she had bleeding ulcers and some how they broke and she started to bleed out. They had no clue what the problem was, so fast forward to today she still has the bloody and black stool so she went to the dr. and was diagnosed with stage 3 kidney disease that wont get better only worse they also did a colonoscopy and they found nothing, so that is what she has now and we are trying to get through it , your story reminded me of that so check with your doctor, her bloody stool stopped and she takes a bunch of meds, but that night we almost lost her I have never seen anyone loose that much blood and still be alive.
Click to expand...

Wow that is scary as hell Hazey420! Im so sorry that happened to your mother :( I've heard of ulcers bursting and bleeding,and I'm trying to just keep calm and distract myself so if this whole thing is due to stress then I won't make it any worse. Luckily I only lost maybe a couple of tablespoons of blood each time (which was really scary and seemed like a lot) ,and the last incident was on friday.I haven't had any black stools for about a week either.

After hearing your story if they don't find anything with the colonoscopy,and it keeps happening,I will definitely follow up with my doctor asap.Thanks for sharing <3
 
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