How Are You In One Word v. I got a feelin'

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I'm just so fucking lonely.

I'm really sorry, Death, if you are being serious. (Occasionally I've given love to people who said they were just kidding.)
If you are really fucking lonely, you are not the only one, if that makes it any better. I know lonely, and it sucks.


Ah spork, you are such a treat at BL. I don't like the idea that you are down. I hope you feel brighter soon. I'd help if I only knew how.
 
Neo- im glad u r feelin better.

Spork- sendin good vibes your way i hope things get better for u.

Artofwar- all i have for u is a quote adapted to an athiest point of view but u can use god in it if u so choose i think they use it in 12 step programs but i believe it is applyable to all sorts of lifes challenges" I do not require a god to achieve the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, to have the courage to change the things i can, nor the wisdom to know the difference between the two." somtimes there are things we cannot change, best wishes.

Today i feel NORMAL, which could be because i took 1.5 mg of xanax last night so i could sleep, and i slept better because my better half is home after house sitting for the last month which killed me cause i had to go through most of my withdrawl alone at nights but thats neither here nor there i just feel as if im taking on a new routine now its just starting to settle in. When i was on pills i would wake up at 2pm hustle all day to make money for pills, then around 8pm id take them be feelin good for a while and i would go to sleep at 6am. Now im asleep by 1am up at 8am and trying to keep busy all day. i have made lots of money, treated the old lady like a queen, and bought a new springfield xd. Life will b perfect once i get past this insomnia.
 
^ Good to hear Pagey.

TOAW- I know what you mean. <3

Snowboarder- Sounds great. I love north coast music. :)

Spork- :( <3


Neo- Good to hear you feeling better. <3

ATM: on Pause.
 
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extremely angry.

People are telling lies about me to people in authority over me.

Shit like I go to work fucked up. I never have. I never will.

I had to go take a random today because of the people, I think it is one person in particular, who are saying lies and hoping to get me kicked out of the program.

I'm really, incredibly, like almost insanely upset.

People who go postal at their work probably could understand this bad feeling.

wowww.
On this page I am sharing drug test woe. So yeah... just offensive...
 
Anxious...

I started freaking out once it got dark. So I took a quick drive, then took a mile power walk, and then I lifted weights for a little bit. That helped... I really hope I can get to sleep but man sleep has been making me anxious. I wake up anxious in the morning and deal with a shitty nights sleep. It's like I can't find a place to be happy anymore. That scares me. If I can't find a way to be happy with out aide of artificial shit I don't know what I'm going to do.
 
^ you sometimes have to give yourself time to heal. If your brain has been used to feeling euphoric or calmed or intensified or whatever from an artificial substance for a long time, it only makes sense that it would take time to reset. Try not to let the fear this brings up right now cause you to project it lasting into your future. It sounds like you are doing some really good things for yourself, developing strategies, etc. Just stay in the present and take it a step at a time. Life will keep changing and you can heal.<3

Sad, sad, sad. Not even about anything in my own life. Just feeling sad for my country listening to hate and lies and ignorance on the radio, seeing all the suffering of so many people around me. Just. feeling. sad.
 
^ Hey n3o hope you figure it out - me - tired and hoping my new music equip n laptops are here today so I can set up finally.

random - no ciggs in 20 hours, i hate smokin but obv im addicted to em, i may try and drop them since i already went this far.
 
SHHMCJ, Lots of things. Life in general. Like, "what the fuck am I doing?" kinda stuff.
More specifically, I really really want to break my sobriety tonight, and I've been weighing up all the reasons for and against, and all the consequences if I do etc. It's fucking exhausting :|

How are you dude?


And thanks taow <3 Yeah lay off the cigs if you've already made it this far!
 
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