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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

How Are You In One Word v. I got a feelin'

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sconnie420 said:
Spork, hunny,
I hope ur ok! How was 1st day of class?
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I'm sure I'll be fine. I just need to be aware and take care of myself. Class was okay. It seems like this class might be a bit difficult, but that's okay since I only have two classes this semester and the other one doesn't start til the end of October. :)
 
The word for today is TIRED, today is the one month marker being off opiates sleep is my only problem. I have only allowed myself to pharmicalogically medicate every thord day and im trying to alternate between what i use for sleep. Iv been going between klonapin, xanax and somas, but xanax is the more widely availible in my area. I told myself i would stop this at 3 weeks but after 2 days of tossing and turning trying to sleep with rls i have to sleep with somthin. I kno it is affecting me because i have almost completely stopped smoking pot because it increases my anxiety, and i have smoked weed for half of my 22 years. I have tattoos of buds and a thc molecule. I love weed, but this sleep/rls/anxiety is getting to me. There is no way ill use opiates but i just might loose my mind. But it is to be expected so i will endure, it has just caught me a little off gaurd because i thought of withdrawls like a hard 100meter dash but this time it has been like a slow and steady marathon.
 
PiP , I'm digggin the wild, I could always catch a 36 hour crash before I start training hard next week.. every once in awhile when I'm on here I read about your new place and seems like u are never lacking for stimulation. My half way house I was in for a few months was across from a top 6 (florida gang) crackhouse, it did wonders for my recovery (rolls eyes), but that atmosphere never ever leaves you bored.
 
Fatjosh said:
The word for today is TIRED, today is the one month marker being off opiates sleep is my only problem. I have only allowed myself to pharmicalogically medicate every thord day and im trying to alternate between what i use for sleep. Iv been going between klonapin, xanax and somas, but xanax is the more widely availible in my area. I told myself i would stop this at 3 weeks but after 2 days of tossing and turning trying to sleep with rls i have to sleep with somthin. I kno it is affecting me because i have almost completely stopped smoking pot because it increases my anxiety, and i have smoked weed for half of my 22 years. I have tattoos of buds and a thc molecule. I love weed, but this sleep/rls/anxiety is getting to me. There is no way ill use opiates but i just might loose my mind. But it is to be expected so i will endure, it has just caught me a little off gaurd because i thought of withdrawls like a hard 100meter dash but this time it has been like a slow and steady marathon.
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try and get a doctor to help you with some clonodine and neurontin , I use it for 2 months post detox for the PAWS and it does me right everytime - i have noticed a tiny bit of rebound hypertension w the clonodine after running it for that long, but nothing to worry about. Also go to vitamin world and get some "GABA-Sleep" , don't bother with melatonin yet, but take like 8-10 GABAs and enjoy a peaceful night brother. I've worked with holistic doctors in treatment a few times you can't go wrong with GABA (:
 
^ ill give that a try, i hope it help im terrified of being addicted to benzos, iv seen it and i would rather die than become like the people iv seen who at 15-20mg of xanax a day...that shits an ugly addiction, but sleep has always been a problem for me now its even worse, its like im never tired. I can tell i need sleep because i feel mentaly foggy from lack of sleep but i just dont sleep without some help. The only thing that lets me sleep a couple hours on nights without z-meds is chugging nyquil. I have tried doxylamine pills and they dont work as well i think it is either the dxm with the doxylamine that makes a difference or a fucked up placebo. The mind is so powerful who knows. But i will go take a look at gaba sleep and i kno i have some nuerotin somwhere its just ganna take some digging
 
alarmed

I just got called for a random drop. I'm 21 days clean so I can't be CONFIDENT. And I need to be. Because this involves my daughter. I have had clean drops since last November and they call me for 3 this month - 2 right in a row?? DCFS says I am doing so great - I AM -yet fishing for more&more&more evidence.

NO wonder 9/10 families lose custody of their child when the state becomes involved. I am a poster-model for recovery and really, really doing it! I embody a 180. Still I am at risk for dropping the ball. This is not a game.
 
stunned / paranoid - took my audi in it was overheating, they went to service it and from engine out whole front end blew up.... im down a car and waiting to hear WTF just happened ???
 
theartofwar said:
try and get a doctor to help you with some clonodine and neurontin , I use it for 2 months post detox for the PAWS and it does me right everytime - i have noticed a tiny bit of rebound hypertension w the clonodine after running it for that long, but nothing to worry about. Also go to vitamin world and get some "GABA-Sleep" , don't bother with melatonin yet, but take like 8-10 GABAs and enjoy a peaceful night brother. I've worked with holistic doctors in treatment a few times you can't go wrong with GABA (:
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^ yes, works wonders.. Just took mine. :)
 
Worried could also sum me up nicely actually.

I seem to be spiralling out of control again, for some reason every minute thing pisses me off.
 
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extremely angry.

People are telling lies about me to people in authority over me.

Shit like I go to work fucked up. I never have. I never will.

I had to go take a random today because of the people, I think it is one person in particular, who are saying lies and hoping to get me kicked out of the program.

I'm really, incredibly, like almost insanely upset.

People who go postal at their work probably could understand this bad feeling.
 
^^ Thanks dude <3 How are you?


synthetix said:
Worried could also sum me up nicely actually.

I seem to be spiralling out of control again, for some reason every minute thing pisses me off.
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Sorry to hear this synthetix :( Is there anything going on in your life that's making you so reactive and feeling so out of control?


ugly said:
extremely angry.

People are telling lies about me to people in authority over me.
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This happened to me in my previous job. I found out years later that it was the reason I got fired. Such an indescribeable feeling of injustice. I hope things are smoothed over at your workplace soon ugly <3


I am feeling studious %) <- imagine those are reading glasses, not sunglasses ;)
 
accepting some things you jus got no control over. Drastically making my life simple for at least next 6-12 months and accepting it's what I need to stay mentally healthy and not relapse has really taken a load off.
 
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