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How Are You In One Word? v. Do A Little Dance, Make A Little Love

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godlovesugly said:
sad. :(

my car accident was on october 1st. ive been waiting this long for my money. i think i've waited long enough and been through enough. i cant take it anymore. im about to break. or just give up completely.
Click to expand...

godlovesugly, you seem to be have pulled through the toughest part(s) already, hun! Keep that chin of yours up! Giving up is NOT worth it at this point! <3 You ARE capable of keeping it together, and I assure you, I would not just say that! Hell, do it for Beatrice! =D Haha.
 
very very reluctant.

im 2 days late on my next Humira injection...
the last one i took with lingering bronchitis, its till lingering.
3 days after taking my last one, one of my ribs really really
hurt in comparison to the others, and in my left thigh where i
give the shots, it has felt like ive had a massive charley-horse,
touching i can feel the exact spot i gave the shot, and this sickly
inflamed feeling, a 5-6" long, 3-4" wide oval.
flexing my thigh, is a no can do, putting too much pressure walking
makes me want to yell out loud and grab for something.
sleeping, stretching my legs, or grabbing it accidently wakes me up,
maybe 5 times a night, or ill dream about it, as its causing pain,,,
when i do flex my thigh, or stretch, it feels like what id imagine "muscular fibrosis"
to feel like, as if the strands of muscle are peeling, pulling away from each other, when 'flexed' or stretched.
the rib, and conjoining dermatological issues along the rib, which ill leave out
has calmed down some, but my thigh has not, ive had to move the key-board several times to avoid it.


i need this medication.
but i cant imagine fukn with the bronchitis, my ribs, or my thigh again.
im not shooting it in my tri/biceps, other thigh, or stomach muscles, FFS no im not.
but, those are my only options.
im goddamn scared to take it again.!.
but, this is my only option.
these are just the odd interactions, new to me pains, then there are the beasts i take the stuff for.

whats worse, well the pain from the rest lol, but idk whats happening here exactly, this pain is happening for what reason?...
 
swamped
fucking hell studying is much more involved than I seem to remember

I gotta map out chapters, read the chapters, watch videos, read a coupla articles and do more written assignments

In addition I need to pack boxes, fix two computers and start transporting items that will fit in my car to my new apartment.

Okay... bitch fest over. its all gonna be well worth it
 
^
..?
oxygen-ion troubles?
anemia?
sed-rate test at all?
hyper-phagocytes?
sleepy-spleen?!
cytokynes?
sickle cells?

i have very very confused, yet well intended
leukocytes...
they chew on everything, including my happy as can be
hemoglobin's...

Edit:
i feel ya OD, and am jealous actually!
my brain is craving knowledge..!
intellectual/human stimulation..!

try studying what you need to, unill you are at a stopping point, then take some steps packing, repeat, all damn night.. haha

it will be worth it, and you very well may look back on this night, after you are out of school, and chuckle, knowing it was worth it.
;)
 
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SideOrderOfOpiates said:
godlovesugly, you seem to be have pulled through the toughest part(s) already, hun! Keep that chin of yours up! Giving up is NOT worth it at this point! <3 You ARE capable of keeping it together, and I assure you, I would not just say that! Hell, do it for Beatrice! =D Haha.
Click to expand...

aww thanks :) haha beatrice ;) i know, i cant let that cute little face down...ever!

but you are right. i have made it through the toughest parts already. its been a rough, rocky road the past 4 months, let me tell you. im trying to have hope and i know [as gay as this sounds] that if i just keep doing the next right thing, life is gonna get better. its starting to get there already. slower, but surely!


well, my word is: optimistic.

and grateful...for BL and the people here :D<3
 
panic in paradise said:
very very reluctant.

im 2 days late on my next Humira injection...
the last one i took with lingering bronchitis, its till lingering.
3 days after taking my last one, one of my ribs really really
hurt in comparison to the others, and in my left thigh where i
give the shots, it has felt like ive had a massive charley-horse,
touching i can feel the exact spot i gave the shot, and this sickly
inflamed feeling, a 5-6" long, 3-4" wide oval.
flexing my thigh, is a no can do, putting too much pressure walking
makes me want to yell out loud and grab for something.
sleeping, stretching my legs, or grabbing it accidently wakes me up,
maybe 5 times a night, or ill dream about it, as its causing pain,,,
when i do flex my thigh, or stretch, it feels like what id imagine "muscular fibrosis"
to feel like, as if the strands of muscle are peeling, pulling away from each other, when 'flexed' or stretched.
the rib, and conjoining dermatological issues along the rib, which ill leave out
has calmed down some, but my thigh has not, ive had to move the key-board several times to avoid it.


i need this medication.
but i cant imagine fukn with the bronchitis, my ribs, or my thigh again.
im not shooting it in my tri/biceps, other thigh, or stomach muscles, FFS no im not.
but, those are my only options.
im goddamn scared to take it again.!.
but, this is my only option.
these are just the odd interactions, new to me pains, then there are the beasts i take the stuff for.

whats worse, well the pain from the rest lol, but idk whats happening here exactly, this pain is happening for what reason?...
Click to expand...

trapped.

i need to cll my rheumy, but i get the feeling she will just say,,, "well you knew there were risks and benefits.. so you have to decide..."
or
"okay we will take you off of the humira."
and~
not do any investigative/diagnostic work to find out what might be the problem, rather then simply strike the cause.

the shot is in the fridge, and i can not bare anymore, or imagine the idiocy of injecting myself with the stuff...
this really fkn sucks.
and is a seriously fucked up conundrum, but, whats new baby blue?
 
Hungry

I was still hungry after my normal sized dinner. I want a grinder or sub or something. Steak and cheese or meatball parm. Maybe some seafood or a really good seasoned steak. Something spicy too, but not too spicy. Some sort of pasta preferably with an alfredo sauce. Yeah, that sounds alright by me.
 
Anemia. My mother had it so severely when she was my age, that she almost underwent a blood transfusion :|. Anemia was never a problem for me—until I developed a massive opiate habit. My body is fucked. By age 21, I already developed hypertension.

My word(?): disappointed. Helped myself to 8 of a family members Vicodin last night. Decided to do my usual, take it with a significant amount of booze, benzos, more benzos, more booze, tramadol, and muscle relaxers. (Yes, I am aware of the consequences. No, I did not care.)

I shouldn't be doing this type of shit. Anyone who knows my personal background states that I have had as close to a 'divine intervention' as it gets—that something—some fucking unknown potential 'thing' or 'nothing'—has spared me from a LOT. Knowing I was given a new lease on life, and here I am abusing it...is fucking sad.

Apologize for the rant. I hope everyone else is well, and without hostility. <3
 
^
oh brother, i have lethal like tension and energy here...
not tha sexah sort,
but the chop chuck norris up sort.
the chop his little red beard right in in half sort.

"—that something—some fucking unknown potential 'thing' or 'nothing'—has spared me from a LOT"

i see a you ditto,
and raise you a question...
dont wonder what thing, or nothing.
wonder, why?
whats my potential, some~thing.

___________________
oh jebus fn christ

1mg of klonopin, for maybe 10-70 hours...
6 days late calling it in, but.

_what in the fuck_
 
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