• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

How Are You In One Word? v. Do A Little Dance, Make A Little Love

Status
Not open for further replies.
Ok I guess


Idk, I am confused right now. Girls either like me because they get to know me and know I'm a nice guy or girls like me because they don't know me and think I'm cute. It's very hard to get a girl to know me and not want to be friends or not just want to make out or something. I guess I wouldn't really want to date right now, but there's not really any between. I'm not even sure what I would want though. I don't really want any kind of commitment, but I would like to be with someone...reliable.
 
doing well. Much more secure in myself and life than I ever have been - anxiety attack died down, I'm going to start breathing exercises for the anxiety attacks.
 
Carl Landrover said:
Ok I guess


Idk, I am confused right now. Girls either like me because they get to know me and know I'm a nice guy or girls like me because they don't know me and think I'm cute. It's very hard to get a girl to know me and not want to be friends or not just want to make out or something. I guess I wouldn't really want to date right now, but there's not really any between. I'm not even sure what I would want though. I don't really want any kind of commitment, but I would like to be with someone...reliable.
Click to expand...

reliable fuck buddy never worked in my experience , it always got kinda weird - luckily i've salvaged a friendship out of one from highschool but jus sayin man it is possible but I'd be real cautious. Enjoyin the clean life man ? Hope all else is goin well for you dude.
 
theartofwar said:
reliable fuck buddy never worked in my experience , it always got kinda weird - luckily i've salvaged a friendship out of one from highschool but jus sayin man it is possible but I'd be real cautious. Enjoyin the clean life man ? Hope all else is goin well for you dude.
Click to expand...

I know myself enough to know I couldn't have a fuck buddy, even though I like the idea of it. I'm not sure what I want though because I definitely don't want a relationship, but I would like a girl. IDK, confusing!


Clean life is good. My definition of clean life is pretty much just excluding opiates/coke and the like. I still smoke weed and I drink a few nights a week (2-3). Adderall on occasion too. Right now, listing those makes it seem like a lot, but being off opiates is HUGE for me still. This is the longest I've been off opiates since sometime in 2008?

If I make it until my birthday (2/22), it'll be the longest I've gone without ANY opiates since sometime in spring/summer of 2005 (essentially the beginning of real psychological and physical addiction).
 
Depressed
Catching me off guard most of the time...kind of ashamed of bein like this, but got to accept it...again
 
S T R E S S E D

I work freelance, which means I need to be twice as responsible about money as someone who has a regular job. I didn't factor this in when I started down this path of being a creative professional! I basically have all the money I need either "in the mail" or in my wallet in the form of checks that I can't cash until Monday. (so I really have NONE of the money I need atm). I didn't notice the checks were post dated when I got them and assumed my rent would be paid on time, as a result my rent is late and I'm broke until this "in the mail" money gets here.


It is my fault, I need to get better at organizing my finances, I've always been bad at planning financially. It's something I've been working on but damn it's hard to organize and save money when you don't have any to organize or save!

I'm just venting, things could be much worse and this is a good lesson for me to save more in the future. Hope everyone else is doing well!
 
Curious. I'm checking out the forums again after being away for a while. :)
 
apparently allergic to cats , just got back from my buddies place and damn man i like cats but my eyes are burning >_< ! Good aside from that =D!
 
^ If you're suffering from congestion, I might have something that can help with that. :)

My word: cheeky.
 
*speechless.

in need of human contact/interaction


i guess people assume im someone who isolates, but thats totally false - the only way i could see someone thinking that, is because while married, other people just distracted me from her, so i chose to slowly lose contact with them all.
i would go to, or DJ at rather, 3-5 raves, clubs, house parties, beach parties, outdoor events, or be out at events socializing constantly trying to meet people and promote myslef, and my DJ partner.
from 14 until 22, i would be surrounded by people, always chatting, discussing, planning, laughing, debating. some clubs didnt close for days in a row, or until the early after-noon, i was that sociable at 14-17 as much as possible.
doing coke, which was almost always, id feel the great need for someone to be there, i wouldnt internalize on the stuff, but had to have some one there who was chatty - i would give them a much as they could do, which could be expensive, but
i always needed someone there to help distract me from the stewing and burning inside from the stuff, thats how much im not an isolator... $$$ and lots of cocaine to try and avoid internalizing.

i had several Clicks of friends, who had nothing to do with one another, and would never meet one another. several groups of 10-25 people, all of whom i was acquainted with to different degrees, or i spoke with several times a day.
no, im no an isolator, its never been my nature, am i someone who can sit and think, in a room alone for days on end, and se any sort of progress made, yes.

but its been near a month, and its starting to get lonely~frustrating... being in this house, with no means of transportation, and nothing with in walking distance as far as people, or businesses.


*really sick of all this.
 
Introverted
But optomistic
I could have got drunk all day, but I decided not to (and that's suprising, as all I do during the day is clean house and look for jobs) I could've also called my dealer and asked him to front me a bag, but I didn't.
Sobriety reminds me how shitty thing are (and north korea is readying itself for the next big was, itchy trigger fingers everywhere)
Mutually assured destruction is imminent, yet I attempt to act blissfully unawares of the goings on across the ocean
I got a kitty!!!:):) russian blue maine coon kitten, she makes the rainy days less blue (cuz she never stops playing) does it count as self mutilation if the kitten is the one tearing the shit outta my arm?
Have a decent day, productive or not:)
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top