how are you in 1 word ?

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Currently feeling: purposeful!
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If all the folks who copied my english homework throughout school (some of them continuously offering me cash to write papers for them in college) are now getting 4.0's at universities, there is no way in hell I can sell myself short. I'm starting to get excruciatingly bored; I'm also starting to feel as though being sober is more of a high than being loaded. Even opiate use bores me after a while—too predictable and redundundundundundundant. Not to mention, I need to meet some financial goals for myself. I had a rather decent sum of money I had saved up that was recently spent on items I neglected to buy while using religiously, as well as various birthday gifts and Mother's Day presents. I feel the urge to really get going in life very, very soon. This shit is getting old, man. I should seriously be dead or fatally diseased. Somehow all my fire swallowing antics haven't burned me—I'm alive, healthy, and seriously fucking blessed to be sitting here today. I need to make the most out of this life; this is all we've got.
 
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Anxious, yet mildly euphoric.

I know that was more than one word, sorry, but there's no other way to describe it haha. Currently going through Sub withdrawals because my Doc cut off my script... I'm anxious about seeing him today and the possibility that he won't give me anymore Sub... or worse, that he won't give me the drugs I need (clonodine and Trams) to combat the withdrawals.

Mildly euphoric, because I DO have a few Trams left and took one about an hour ago + a small crumb of Sub... so I'm riding a very small opiate high at the moment. Very, very small, but my mind actually feels somewhat happier than it has in a long time.
 
relaxed


i been hurting all day i have chronic back pain so its always gonna hurt unless i take something
well i havent had nothin today and been in pain all day ...but i just got me alil bupe and i feel
it kicking in along with a kspin i took a hour prior ..i now feel relaxed to where i can chill
 
Uplifted/reminiscent.

I would have loved to be an astronaut as a small child. Commander Mark Kelly, whose wife, Rep. Gabrielle Giffords survived an attempted assassination by a misguided soul, successfully landed the US Space Shuttle Endeavour with an international team. The team worked successfully and landed safely.

My eyesight and other things prevent me from flying a Space Shuttle or other large aircraft, but I'm not giving up on my goal of achieving a pilot's license.

It is ironic that I dislike driving so much when I know if I had the mathematical ability, I would be in aviation and hopefully in flight. Alas, I am too old now, and I lack the required qualifications to fly a Space Shuttle.

A girl can dream. <3
 
Thanks doc! Cognitive processes slowing....down.....smiling.....instead....
 
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