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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

how are you in 1 word ?

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Tired.

I feel like a I need to into hibernation mode for days but it's not possible at the moment. :(
 
godlovesugly said:
yeah he does this bullshit all the time. its getting old. and im getting tired of it. threatening suicide all the time isn't a joke to me...i take it seriously. i really think he just does it for my attention. he is manic depressive, but still...he takes it too far, and he KNOWS it. i cant do it anymore. im starting to not give a shit, im over it.
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Yeah hun, I agree with PIP, it is not acceptable for your boyfriend to keep playing the suicide card just to manipulate you and/or the situation. Is he getting any therapy at the moment? If not, he should consider seeking some professional help. Not only is he suicidal but his current mental state is seriously negatively affecting him AND other people around him. He needs help.
 
flattered
shitload of people today commented on the gains I've been making physically. Feels good!
The downside is a dude at a meeting tonight pulled me aside and offered me $100 to fuck someone up for him. Ha! I told him I don't live like that anymore and that I could relate to pure fucking rage towards someone. Let it go, man. Holding onto resentments like that just eat you up inside and will ruin your day

feels good to change in a positive direction
 
Alive
As opposed to early this morning
Breathing well
As opposed to earlier today

phew...AND I played a packed house full of people in the evening

But the alive-ness is the main thing I'm bragging about.
 
n3ophy7e said:
Yeah hun, I agree with PIP, it is not acceptable for your boyfriend to keep playing the suicide card just to manipulate you and/or the situation. Is he getting any therapy at the moment? If not, he should consider seeking some professional help. Not only is he suicidal but his current mental state is seriously negatively affecting him AND other people around him. He needs help.
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currently, hes not getting any therapy or taking his medications. he was going to this mental health doctor, but when we were using, he would miss his appointments and they eventually kicked him out of the program. he is aware of how sick he is, and he is showing signs that he does want help now. the mental health place said they would take him back, but he HAS to show up for his appointments from now on. he told me today that he realizes that there is no way he can take care of his mental illnesses by himself, hes tried managing it on his own, and it doesn't work. im still skeptical, cause ive been done this road with him before...hes gotta prove it to me. its now up to him to help himself...he has to make the choice and steps to change.


anyway, thank you [and PIP] for your input and advice. i really do appreciate it! :)<3



right now, im: happy

im 3 weeks clean, going to meetings, have a little bit of money, im taking care of my responsibilities, life is not too bad at the moment...ya know, im doing just fine ;)
 
^^I mean personally, the thing that got me able to take care of my damn self and function despite depression was getting kicked out on my ass and left homeless by my ex. Some people only learn the hard way, and I did. Not saying everybody does...but you gotta do what you gotta do, if you gotta do it. When I was with them I was so depressive and anti social that I couldn't hold down a job, period. When I got kicked out and we broke up I grew up alot, learned to be functional without being dependent on someone. I look back now and wonder how the hell I was ever the way I used to be, or why, or why I didn't wake up sooner

Hyper

Odd considering I slept for 2 hrs in a day and a half
 
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n3ophy7e said:
EXCITED!!
Got some great news today :)
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PM me too please, pretty lady :)

My word: baffled. A lot has been going on IRL. My energy level keeps spiking and dropping; I'm sleeping poorly, but I have had a few rounds of unexpected adventures and a few strokes of luck. Baffled but overall happy. And I get to see my family again soon!
 
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