k4rm4sutr4
Greenlighter
- Joined
- May 1, 2010
- Messages
- 2
Hi all,
This will be a bit long as I'm going to have to give a bit of a backstory here. Basically, been trying for months to figure out what's going on with me regarding a drug reaction as I'm not convinced it's pure panic attacks - though it may be in which case I'll accept that, just want some advice.
I was introduced to psychadelics about three years ago. At that time, I had never tried anything but cannabis on occasion. Well, went to my friend's house and tried 5-meo-dmt (found out later this is quite the drug for your first smoke). In any case thoroughly enjoyed the experience, went back the next day and tried about 20mg of 2c-e insufflated (ouch) and more 5-meo. Great stuff, came back a changed person after that spring break (I was on prozac at this time too - didn't seem to change it that much tho). Anyway, tried dxm a month or two later and loved it. Spent a good number of days robotripping for kicks (also while on prozac). Tried rolling a month or so after that (skipped prozac before) - that was also a blast although I took too much and drank a bit too much and vomited my guts out. Stopped taking prozac at the end of the summer as didn't think it did much, but my drug experiences after stopping seemed roughly the same (maybe slightly weaker).
Basically, after that point, I've tripped here and there on occasion over the next year. Always fantastic experiences. I read up tons and tons on drugs, and thought that I really knew my shit. Knew everything about neurotransmitters etc. I couldn't understand how someone could have a "bad trip" as I always had a lot of fun.
Last January, went to a monastery, learned meditation, and decided afterwards to stop taking klonopin, which I'd been on for about 7 years. Got through the withdrawal, and was basically able to control anxiety via meditation.
Rolled/tripped etc after that at fests and over the summer. No ill experiences yet. Though I did notice starting during the summer that, for the first time, I'd sometimes feel a bit uneasy while rolling but didn't think much of it.
Came back to school in the fall, took on a much more stressful lifestyle as I was enrolled and starting to work as a DJ. Also let my meditation practice slip, probably not the best decision. Over the course of that semester something big changed in me. Didn't really notice when or where it happened, but I did notice tripping on LSD in October that at one point during my trip, I definitely noticed a tad of anxiety. I was fine a bit after that rolling and taking 2c-b, though I saw someone have a bad reaction to DOI and this scared me, though I didn't really think it could ever "happen to me."
I got more and more anxious over the course of the semester as I realized that I had some REAL responsibilities to deal with. I had always been a bit of a slacker before - did alright in things but always did the minimum. But the stress was building and ultimately I decided to take a semester off and get my shit together starting in the spring.
With this decision and such as a backdrop, I decided to trip again on DXM, which I hadn't done in probably a year, last November. I was on wellbutrin at the time, though I didn't think this would really effect it as I had done DXM with wellbutrin before.
And then I got a nasty nasty reaction. Thought it was related to the wellbutrin at first though I was never sure. I got really REALLY hot. Like hot to the point where I couldn't think and I just wanted to jump out of my skin. This freaked the fuck out of me and I jumped in the shower, took a few valium I had lying around, and generally spent the rest of my afternoon miserably. This scared me but I didn't think much of it as me and my friend J who knows a lot about drugs thought it was just a reaction.
Then I went home over the break, went to J's house and decided (foolishly in retrospect as I was having a bad day - forgot about SET and setting) to do some 2c-b. I had done this many times before and didn't think anything would happen, but as soon as I railed the 25mg he put out for me, the nasty hot feeling came back. Only worse. Then I realized I was fucked as I decided not to bring any klonopin or anything with me. Spent the next several hours thinking I was going to die and that I just wanted it to end. Eventually got a friend to drive me to my mom's house and took 8mg of klonopin. This kicked in eventually, getting rid of some of the anxiety (though I still felt a bit hot) - and then the real blow hit me. I was just "that guy" - the one dude who is freaking out in the corner while everyone else is having a good time on their trip. A blow to my ego to say the least.
In any case, since that experience, every psychadelic I've tried, regardless of what meds I'm on, seems to cause this nasty hot, anxious, reaction. I took LSD the following week and within 15-20 minutes I started feeling hot and jumpy - normally you don't even perceive anything by this point but I sure as fuck did. I got through the night with a few valium and some nitrous to ease the jitters here and there. It wasn't a bad trip - it was just unpleasant.
I tried stopping drugs for a few months. Even rolling was mildly unpleasant, just from the expectation that I might get nervous or something. Rather than the big rush of energy I used to get, it was more of an uncomfortable inability to sit still even though I still didn't really want to dance. Then in March I began smoking weed again occasionally, and truly enjoyed it again.
Great! I thought I was past this, and I was fine. I was prescribed strattera around this time too to help me get work done - and I try to skip it before anytime I'm going to take a psychaedlic. Anyhow, tried methylone and mephedrone a few times, and cocaine here and there, and really felt this nasty anxiety was gone.
Till I tried DXM again. Fuck. Same thing - hot - panicky - nasty. And I skipped strat for 4 days before so it wasn't an interaction.
I took a tramadol today, which I know releases serotonin. As it was kicking in again I got the feeling that I wanted to jump out of my skin for a bit from heat and nastiness, though this quickly went away.
OK now that I've gotten all of that out of the way (thank you if you've made it this far), my basic question is what the fuck is going on here?! I've heard lots of similar experiences, but nothing identical from anyone anywhere, so I can't tell if this is just garden variety anxiety or what.
I know it's not rocket science that stopping klonopin + stopping meditation + more stressful lifestyle = panic attacks. But this feels VERY very physical, like something is actually fucked up with my serotonin. And it completely ruins my ability to enjoy any psychadelic drug. Even if I calm down and get over the nasty anxiety by telling myself I won't die, I don't really get any of the positive visuals or whatever from an experience. I just get, at best, the absence of the bad.
I know serotonin controls heat, so is it likely something is fucked up there? Or is my subconscious just fucking with me, and everytime serotonin increases my brain just likes to shit itself?
I'm very confused as I can force myself to get through this nasty part of a drug comeup if I know that it's a panic attack, but if it's actually caused by a dangerous level of serotonin or something then I'm just going to abstain because I know panic attacks aren't dangerous, but serotonin syndrome is.
Ugh, if any of you know anything or have similar experiences, please reply. I really do appreciate for reading this long!
Gonna post a bunch of my reports on various drugs + strattera soon too as I've noticed there are almost none.
This will be a bit long as I'm going to have to give a bit of a backstory here. Basically, been trying for months to figure out what's going on with me regarding a drug reaction as I'm not convinced it's pure panic attacks - though it may be in which case I'll accept that, just want some advice.
I was introduced to psychadelics about three years ago. At that time, I had never tried anything but cannabis on occasion. Well, went to my friend's house and tried 5-meo-dmt (found out later this is quite the drug for your first smoke). In any case thoroughly enjoyed the experience, went back the next day and tried about 20mg of 2c-e insufflated (ouch) and more 5-meo. Great stuff, came back a changed person after that spring break (I was on prozac at this time too - didn't seem to change it that much tho). Anyway, tried dxm a month or two later and loved it. Spent a good number of days robotripping for kicks (also while on prozac). Tried rolling a month or so after that (skipped prozac before) - that was also a blast although I took too much and drank a bit too much and vomited my guts out. Stopped taking prozac at the end of the summer as didn't think it did much, but my drug experiences after stopping seemed roughly the same (maybe slightly weaker).
Basically, after that point, I've tripped here and there on occasion over the next year. Always fantastic experiences. I read up tons and tons on drugs, and thought that I really knew my shit. Knew everything about neurotransmitters etc. I couldn't understand how someone could have a "bad trip" as I always had a lot of fun.
Last January, went to a monastery, learned meditation, and decided afterwards to stop taking klonopin, which I'd been on for about 7 years. Got through the withdrawal, and was basically able to control anxiety via meditation.
Rolled/tripped etc after that at fests and over the summer. No ill experiences yet. Though I did notice starting during the summer that, for the first time, I'd sometimes feel a bit uneasy while rolling but didn't think much of it.
Came back to school in the fall, took on a much more stressful lifestyle as I was enrolled and starting to work as a DJ. Also let my meditation practice slip, probably not the best decision. Over the course of that semester something big changed in me. Didn't really notice when or where it happened, but I did notice tripping on LSD in October that at one point during my trip, I definitely noticed a tad of anxiety. I was fine a bit after that rolling and taking 2c-b, though I saw someone have a bad reaction to DOI and this scared me, though I didn't really think it could ever "happen to me."
I got more and more anxious over the course of the semester as I realized that I had some REAL responsibilities to deal with. I had always been a bit of a slacker before - did alright in things but always did the minimum. But the stress was building and ultimately I decided to take a semester off and get my shit together starting in the spring.
With this decision and such as a backdrop, I decided to trip again on DXM, which I hadn't done in probably a year, last November. I was on wellbutrin at the time, though I didn't think this would really effect it as I had done DXM with wellbutrin before.
And then I got a nasty nasty reaction. Thought it was related to the wellbutrin at first though I was never sure. I got really REALLY hot. Like hot to the point where I couldn't think and I just wanted to jump out of my skin. This freaked the fuck out of me and I jumped in the shower, took a few valium I had lying around, and generally spent the rest of my afternoon miserably. This scared me but I didn't think much of it as me and my friend J who knows a lot about drugs thought it was just a reaction.
Then I went home over the break, went to J's house and decided (foolishly in retrospect as I was having a bad day - forgot about SET and setting) to do some 2c-b. I had done this many times before and didn't think anything would happen, but as soon as I railed the 25mg he put out for me, the nasty hot feeling came back. Only worse. Then I realized I was fucked as I decided not to bring any klonopin or anything with me. Spent the next several hours thinking I was going to die and that I just wanted it to end. Eventually got a friend to drive me to my mom's house and took 8mg of klonopin. This kicked in eventually, getting rid of some of the anxiety (though I still felt a bit hot) - and then the real blow hit me. I was just "that guy" - the one dude who is freaking out in the corner while everyone else is having a good time on their trip. A blow to my ego to say the least.
In any case, since that experience, every psychadelic I've tried, regardless of what meds I'm on, seems to cause this nasty hot, anxious, reaction. I took LSD the following week and within 15-20 minutes I started feeling hot and jumpy - normally you don't even perceive anything by this point but I sure as fuck did. I got through the night with a few valium and some nitrous to ease the jitters here and there. It wasn't a bad trip - it was just unpleasant.
I tried stopping drugs for a few months. Even rolling was mildly unpleasant, just from the expectation that I might get nervous or something. Rather than the big rush of energy I used to get, it was more of an uncomfortable inability to sit still even though I still didn't really want to dance. Then in March I began smoking weed again occasionally, and truly enjoyed it again.
Great! I thought I was past this, and I was fine. I was prescribed strattera around this time too to help me get work done - and I try to skip it before anytime I'm going to take a psychaedlic. Anyhow, tried methylone and mephedrone a few times, and cocaine here and there, and really felt this nasty anxiety was gone.
Till I tried DXM again. Fuck. Same thing - hot - panicky - nasty. And I skipped strat for 4 days before so it wasn't an interaction.
I took a tramadol today, which I know releases serotonin. As it was kicking in again I got the feeling that I wanted to jump out of my skin for a bit from heat and nastiness, though this quickly went away.
OK now that I've gotten all of that out of the way (thank you if you've made it this far), my basic question is what the fuck is going on here?! I've heard lots of similar experiences, but nothing identical from anyone anywhere, so I can't tell if this is just garden variety anxiety or what.
I know it's not rocket science that stopping klonopin + stopping meditation + more stressful lifestyle = panic attacks. But this feels VERY very physical, like something is actually fucked up with my serotonin. And it completely ruins my ability to enjoy any psychadelic drug. Even if I calm down and get over the nasty anxiety by telling myself I won't die, I don't really get any of the positive visuals or whatever from an experience. I just get, at best, the absence of the bad.
I know serotonin controls heat, so is it likely something is fucked up there? Or is my subconscious just fucking with me, and everytime serotonin increases my brain just likes to shit itself?
I'm very confused as I can force myself to get through this nasty part of a drug comeup if I know that it's a panic attack, but if it's actually caused by a dangerous level of serotonin or something then I'm just going to abstain because I know panic attacks aren't dangerous, but serotonin syndrome is.
Ugh, if any of you know anything or have similar experiences, please reply. I really do appreciate for reading this long!
Gonna post a bunch of my reports on various drugs + strattera soon too as I've noticed there are almost none.
