Opioids Horrible depression after 1 month oxy abuse

[Perplexity]

I just want some support b/c what I'm going through is really sucking. I basically used anywhere from 40-120mg of oxy for about a month straight and stopped cold turkey around 68 hours ago, on Friday afternoon (since I had the weekend to stay in bed).

Of course I have no energy whatsoever, I can't even keep myself from slouching all the time but at the same time I can hardly sleep because of how depressed I am. I never have considered suicide but the last few days it has realistically crossed my mind -- all of my regrets, all of the people I've hurt, all of the lies and the times I've stolen are coming back to haunt me. I see everyone around me seemingly content and happy and it only makes me feel more miserable about myself. I yelled at a good friend of mine and kicked her out of my apartment because I was feeling so bad, which is so unlike me. She has done nothing but good things for me.

To make matters worse I'm at work right now and I still feel the same as I did this weekend.

Does this seem fair for only 1 month of use? Can anyone relate to the feelings I described? Just knowing I'm not alone in this would help.

 

[adrenalinerushes]

it's good that you have stopped using. props on that, it takes a lot of guts. i would give it more time, your body and brain have a lot of adjusting and replenishing to do that won't be able to take place within a few days. i want to say the depressive symptoms are normal at this point in time in your situation, but that's just IME and of course I can't say for sure.

have you been eating somewhat well, trying to take vitamins/supplements? omegas, b vitamins, multi vitamins in general. i would look into the vitamins and whatnot that may help you feel better during this transition, or make it go more smoothly and possibly quicker. i'm sure there are supplements as well. worth looking into imo. maybe after giving it some time, seeing a doctor or therapist would be a good idea? coming off drugs can sometimes call for SSRI medications etc in a lot of people. i don't know if that's best for you but it's worth looking into if your mental health is in a bad state. just a thought.

i think once your body is more healed and adjusts to not having oxy, your mental health will improve.

i wish i had better advice to offer regarding the depression and the emotional things you're feeling but i don't know. i'm sure another BLer with more knowledge about that will chime in. i know a lot of people coming off of opiates find themselves feeling similar things, so it's not uncommon. though it still deserves attention of course. coming here for support is awesome and glad you did! i wish you the best of luck. give yourself time to heal. you WILL feel better.

 

[Danikar]

1 month tends to be the time a lot of people become hooked. I'll admit I am no expert on the topic since I still take oxy which probably doesn't help you at all. But I know people who have went through it and while it may be painful you just have to wait it out, you'll come around, it will get better. But again im probably not the best person to answer this.

 

[adrenalinerushes]

1 month tends to be the time a lot of people become hooked. I'll admit I am no expert on the topic since I still take oxy which probably doesn't help you at all. But I know people who have went through it and while it may be painful you just have to wait it out, you'll come around, it will get better. But again im probably not the best person to answer this.

i think any well intended advice is a good thing and the support is definitely helpful.

 

[falsifiedhypothesi]

Just try to keep in mind that your feelings are almost entirely drug induced and will subside with time and abstinence. I have never been in serious withdrawal or have had a serious habit but i empathize with your depressive and suicidal thoughts and have definitly been in that situation, just hang in there.

 

[keeping]

it sounds like you are withdrawing and although i've only withdrawn from benzo's i appreciate how terrible you must feel. this is a trying time for the strongest of people but you need to grit your teeth, and eventually grow from this experience; it sounds like you are already re-evaluating certain aspects of your life, which will improve from that level of introspection. i have faith that you will get through this ok, and become a more rounded person from it.

you aren't alone.

all the best,
keeping

 

[wezface]

Opiates bind to the same receptors in your brain that endorphins bind to. That's why, when you do opiates for a long time, your body stops producing these chemicals and you get sick. It works the same with your mental health as well. Give it some time, hang in there, and if you don't feel better in a few weeks you might consider some sort of antidepressant or something to help you deal with any potential PAWS symptoms. I know that when I use hard I get really depressed afterwards and I have treatment resistant depression. Good luck to you.

 

[mrsnowygrainius]

do u have any hobbies? or anything you love to do? like for me I have surfing and that absolutely saves me. definitely try to get into some kind of physical activity trust me it helps a lot. also what the guy above me said if all else fails consider going on an anti depressant, they helped me for a while...

 

[treatz101988]

123

 

[aroma borealis]

I can relate to what you are going through. For me the opiate was heroin not oxy, and I always found the third day of withdrawals to be the worst. When I withdraw I, too, tend to obsess on all the crummy stuff I have done. Try to be kind and gentle to yourself mentally while you go through this. When you were using, your judgment was not the best, and you probably were kind of desperate. You can make amends to people later, when your physical and mental health return. Sometimes, the amends are just not doing it any more. It takes a lot of courage to do what you're doing, and I respect you for it. Hot baths and showers helped me, try to eat well if you can and take walks. There are various things you can take if you search around on here for the info if you can't hang with the cold turkey. I feel ya, my friend. And, no, it's not fair. It sucks, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Don't do anything rash.

 

[Perplexity]

Thank you everybody -- each response was very helpful

do u have any hobbies? or anything you love to do? like for me I have surfing and that absolutely saves me. definitely try to get into some kind of physical activity trust me it helps a lot. also what the guy above me said if all else fails consider going on an anti depressant, they helped me for a while...

Idk man, I barely have energy to walk. Once I get through w/d I do have hobbies to keep me occupied but for now I can't do anything but eat or lie down. Isn't that normal during w/d?

The fatigue is so bad that I can't even surf the web or play computer games, i'm only able to make this thread cause im stuck at work :/

 

[Kid Amine]

Did you have depression before taking the oxy binge? A month is a decent run... been there, done that, and even w/o physical w/d, just being back in 'normal life' is fkn depressing, which is why I took opiates in the first place.

 

[beforethebeginning]

68 hours is not enuf to feel betters if u've used non stop for that long.

have patience it will get better. and say fuck u to drugs in the future, maybe. haha.
i just hate being dependent on chemicals to feel good.

thinking u need to get "high" to feel good, is a symptom of being down all da time.

to bite through the withdrawal/depression, u can suck on one or two benzos for the next two days but dont get hooked on that,
cuz benzo addiction is worse than opiate addiction i think

i wanted to get high tonight too,and might hav bought a bottle of wine to get drunk;
but i didnt go for it... craving subsided after 30 min :D f-ckn demons man