Benzos Horrible benzo wd at 6 months

[CrazyPants]

Damn, all that from 1mg of ativan, the a 0.5 klonopin taper?! I felt like shit for a while when I had to start going to my Sub doc every month again, instead of every 3 months...but mine was just REALLY BAD deppersion and rebound anxiety out the ying yang, wanting to die...I'm sure I will experience it again since I never stopped them really, just had to quit what I was doing all the sudden, which was alot of xanax/klonopin/occasional valium. Still the same thing except mostly xanax now since I have 7/8 people to get if from..prefer the klonopin because they don't wear off sooo quick. Anyway, I would go to a doctor...

If you do decide to come off, do yourself a favor and taper (look it up before trying it) You will probably avoid the worst of it....I wish I knew.

 

[blazequietly]

Ive been on benzos since I was 19, I'm 27 now. I was on xanax for 3 years and have been on klonopin for 5 years and also take extra benzos. When Ive come off them before when I went to jail, and then again the next time I went to prison and had to quit to participate in a program for early release. I noticed all the lingering effects to wear off after a couple months, as soon as i was released I couldnt stand the anxiety I had around people and immediately got re-prescribed Klonopin, but I was like that before I was ever on benzos, hence the reason I got put on them. I definitely have noticed my memory is absolutely horrible. I do a lot of drugs though so to blame this on the benzos would be an assumption.

 

[CosmicG]

I am struggling atm with tapering. I have tried using longer lasting RC benzos to get me off the Xanax and Flubromozlam like Diclazepam but it is not easy. Then I drink almost every day, not excessively but I drink.

At one point I checked myself into a rehab facility but left after two weeks against medical advice because they were doping me up with neurontin and seroquel, which I don't agree with.

Now I am at the point of leaving my GP and talking to an actual psychiatrist about prescribing me Klonopin and tapering me the right way slowly.

I can't live like this and function anymore. You aren't alone man.

 

[Fig]

Oh, I believe it. I'm completely familiar with this phenomenon. That's why I said

6 months after a rapid taper from 1mg lorazepam is PAWS central.

and

it's likely you are someone who has a wicked propensity for the worst of PAWS. While that may be a psychiatric emergency it is not a medical one, like danger of seizure etc.

And while it is absolutely true that many doctors aren't caught up on PAWS (hell, most doctors aren't aware that benzos shouldn't be RX'd for more than two weeks) this isn't new info either. The abstract you quote from the Ashton Manual is from the early 90's based on research from the 80's when they had 30 years of solid data recently waking everyone up to the realities of long term use and abuse.

But, it's new to you and that's what matters here. Just know that while it sucks terribly and seems like you may never be the same again, as long as you leave benzos behind and don't GABAergic substances you will eventually pull out of it. Easy for me to say, right?

6 months of hell seems like forever. I have been through WD from far, far higher and longer term dosages of alprazolam and diazepam, with extra temazepam and ambien sugar on top for good measure. I totally understand how it feels, for the most part. I did not have this at 6 months, but I can certainly imagine it. I have also worked professionally with a few people who have experienced PAWS lasting into 9 months and a year and that required a lot of supportive measures.

Benzobuddies is a good site for peer support, but having spent much time in an advocacy role I will say that in the benzo community there exists a congtingent of highly vocal people who are malingering their symptoms and playing to the choir in the same way they do their doctors. It's done in search of validation and if you look carefully often comes on the heels of things like being cut off or switched from high dose xanax to Klonapin, etc, as if telling it to the forum will somehow change things. And while there absolutely are terrible doctors cutting people off or b eing unreasonable with prescriptions when someone has a legitimate need, there are far more instances of people being weaned or reduced for very legit reasons, mostly because they were on absurdly high and unnecessarily addicting doses from prior unscrupulous doctors.

It's entirely desperate and I entirely understand it, as benzos will make you crazy and sometimes literally. Very few of those people did that solely to themselves. Most benzo abuse can be laid at the feet of the Doctor.


I'm not at all saying that's what you are doing. I'm saying the nature of benzo addiction can be so all-encomapassing that one may do or say anything to justify continuing ones use at the standard to which one has become accustomed, As a result, online benzo formus tend to have folks putting out all manner of information, so triple check anything you learn there against things like the Ashton Manual and verifiable data.

Try to get outside ibnto the sun and the air. Take a walk, hard as that may be. Eat nutritious foods. Drink a lot of clear water. Read paper books instead of online. Practice Mindfulness Mediatation. Pet a dog. Smile at a kid. All of these things, as tortuous as they may sound, will help you heal faster and will distract you, if only for a minute.

It gets easier.

 

[CosmicG]

Im going to print off the Ashton Manual and throw it in my doctors face.

 

[CrazyPants]

Oh, I believe it. I'm completely familiar with this phenomenon. That's why I said



and



And while it is absolutely true that many doctors aren't caught up on PAWS (hell, most doctors aren't aware that benzos shouldn't be RX'd for more than two weeks) this isn't new info either. The abstract you quote from the Ashton Manual is from the early 90's based on research from the 80's when they had 30 years of solid data recently waking everyone up to the realities of long term use and abuse.

But, it's new to you and that's what matters here. Just know that while it sucks terribly and seems like you may never be the same again, as long as you leave benzos behind and don't GABAergic substances you will eventually pull out of it. Easy for me to say, right?

6 months of hell seems like forever. I have been through WD from far, far higher and longer term dosages of alprazolam and diazepam, with extra temazepam and ambien sugar on top for good measure. I totally understand how it feels, for the most part. I did not have this at 6 months, but I can certainly imagine it. I have also worked professionally with a few people who have experienced PAWS lasting into 9 months and a year and that required a lot of supportive measures.

Benzobuddies is a good site for peer support, but having spent much time in an advocacy role I will say that in the benzo community there exists a congtingent of highly vocal people who are malingering their symptoms and playing to the choir in the same way they do their doctors. It's done in search of validation and if you look carefully often comes on the heels of things like being cut off or switched from high dose xanax to Klonapin, etc, as if telling it to the forum will somehow change things. And while there absolutely are terrible doctors cutting people off or b eing unreasonable with prescriptions when someone has a legitimate need, there are far more instances of people being weaned or reduced for very legit reasons, mostly because they were on absurdly high and unnecessarily addicting doses from prior unscrupulous doctors.

It's entirely desperate and I entirely understand it, as benzos will make you crazy and sometimes literally. Very few of those people did that solely to themselves. Most benzo abuse can be laid at the feet of the Doctor.


I'm not at all saying that's what you are doing. I'm saying the nature of benzo addiction can be so all-encomapassing that one may do or say anything to justify continuing ones use at the standard to which one has become accustomed, As a result, online benzo formus tend to have folks putting out all manner of information, so triple check anything you learn there against things like the Ashton Manual and verifiable data.

Try to get outside ibnto the sun and the air. Take a walk, hard as that may be. Eat nutritious foods. Drink a lot of clear water. Read paper books instead of online. Practice Mindfulness Mediatation. Pet a dog. Smile at a kid. All of these things, as tortuous as they may sound, will help you heal faster and will distract you, if only for a minute.

It gets easier.

Thanks for this...I appreciate you taking the time out....I am actually a member at benzobuddies and know exactly what you are talking about, some people there are sick, and will probably stay sick for the rest of their lives. I don't believe I fall into that category, I never had anything even close to mental illness before stupidly experimenting with benzos (I didn't even like the shit, it just sped up my work day) I had no clue how potent it was or that it had to be tapered and was just cold turkeying off and on until it caught up with me in the form of panic attacks....

I went about a month off (unknowingly in withdrawal) When my GP diagnosed me with anxiety due to my complaints to him and gave me lorazepam...Of course this worked, but eventually stopped, then went on klonopin (from doc) this lasted about 3 months until I began having what I now know to be breakthrough tolerance....Around this time is when I learned about benzo withdrawal, but I didn't learn enough and stupidly stopped cold turkey, thinking it was best to get the drug outta my system before more damage was done (ignorance)

About a month after that I was feeling better, working out although still very agoraphobic and having sporadic panic, it was becoming more manageable...Then at around 5 months I took a turn for the worst. I began waking up shaking (cortisol rushes) and having all over body burning and derealization, memory loss, all the symptoms one would associate with wd....

It got so bad and I was still so naive that I eventually reinstated again to lorazepam, which worked for a week or two and then turned on me...My mind got fried and has been that way since.....I'm willing to bet if I would have updosed or used klonopin, I would have better stabilized, but at that point I was so traumatized and upset that I had taken that poision again that I just wanted it out, I tried switching to valium to taper under docs supervision, but I was too far gone mentally and since it had only been about a month and a half back on, I (stupidly) rapidly tapered off....

That was 6 months ago, and here I am....My issue was never a psychological addiction, it was pure ignorance and wanting to end the suffering, which I now know has only complicated things due to what I believe to be kindling. I am SLOWLY seeing very small improvements that I believe to be a positive sign, and I know that staying away from all mind altering drugs, but especially GABAergics will be to my benefit....

I have a very clean diet (its hard to eat anyway) and try my best to exercise (my balance and muscles are so shot its often hard) But I'm hoping that in time I will find I'm able to do more and more....Just a month ago I couldn't even tolerate sitting on the computer, now I am able to for most of the day.

It really is a crazy thing, it's not uncommon, but its not something all benzo users experience, I have friends that abused the shit outta them and got off with some insomnia for a couple weeks. Yet here I am, and I have met many others like me that have no history of psych meds (were given them for injuries, insomnia, etc) who are suffering greatly from these drugs.

I believe they may have a cumulative effect on the damage they do, the more on and off them you do, the more desensitized your system gets to natural gaba and the withdrawal gets worse and worse each time....Just a warning to others. I'm all for drug use and experimentation, I would just hate to see anyone get bit in the ass like I did....I am just now getting to a point where I don't think about killing myself every day to get outta this suffering...It's been, and still is, pure fucking hell.

 

[CrazyPants]

Oh, I believe it. I'm completely familiar with this phenomenon. That's why I said



and



And while it is absolutely true that many doctors aren't caught up on PAWS (hell, most doctors aren't aware that benzos shouldn't be RX'd for more than two weeks) this isn't new info either. The abstract you quote from the Ashton Manual is from the early 90's based on research from the 80's when they had 30 years of solid data recently waking everyone up to the realities of long term use and abuse.

But, it's new to you and that's what matters here. Just know that while it sucks terribly and seems like you may never be the same again, as long as you leave benzos behind and don't GABAergic substances you will eventually pull out of it. Easy for me to say, right?

6 months of hell seems like forever. I have been through WD from far, far higher and longer term dosages of alprazolam and diazepam, with extra temazepam and ambien sugar on top for good measure. I totally understand how it feels, for the most part. I did not have this at 6 months, but I can certainly imagine it. I have also worked professionally with a few people who have experienced PAWS lasting into 9 months and a year and that required a lot of supportive measures.

Benzobuddies is a good site for peer support, but having spent much time in an advocacy role I will say that in the benzo community there exists a congtingent of highly vocal people who are malingering their symptoms and playing to the choir in the same way they do their doctors. It's done in search of validation and if you look carefully often comes on the heels of things like being cut off or switched from high dose xanax to Klonapin, etc, as if telling it to the forum will somehow change things. And while there absolutely are terrible doctors cutting people off or b eing unreasonable with prescriptions when someone has a legitimate need, there are far more instances of people being weaned or reduced for very legit reasons, mostly because they were on absurdly high and unnecessarily addicting doses from prior unscrupulous doctors.

It's entirely desperate and I entirely understand it, as benzos will make you crazy and sometimes literally. Very few of those people did that solely to themselves. Most benzo abuse can be laid at the feet of the Doctor.


I'm not at all saying that's what you are doing. I'm saying the nature of benzo addiction can be so all-encomapassing that one may do or say anything to justify continuing ones use at the standard to which one has become accustomed, As a result, online benzo formus tend to have folks putting out all manner of information, so triple check anything you learn there against things like the Ashton Manual and verifiable data.

Try to get outside ibnto the sun and the air. Take a walk, hard as that may be. Eat nutritious foods. Drink a lot of clear water. Read paper books instead of online. Practice Mindfulness Mediatation. Pet a dog. Smile at a kid. All of these things, as tortuous as they may sound, will help you heal faster and will distract you, if only for a minute.

It gets easier.

Thanks for this...I appreciate you taking the time out....I am actually a member at benzobuddies and know exactly what you are talking about, some people there are sick, and will probably stay sick for the rest of their lives. I don't believe I fall into that category, I never had anything even close to mental illness before stupidly experimenting with benzos (I didn't even like the shit, it just sped up my work day) I had no clue how potent it was or that it had to be tapered and was just cold turkeying off and on until it caught up with me in the form of panic attacks....

I went about a month off (unknowingly in withdrawal) When my GP diagnosed me with anxiety due to my complaints to him and gave me lorazepam...Of course this worked, but eventually stopped, then went on klonopin (from doc) this lasted about 3 months until I began having what I now know to be breakthrough tolerance....Around this time is when I learned about benzo withdrawal, but I didn't learn enough and stupidly stopped cold turkey, thinking it was best to get the drug outta my system before more damage was done (ignorance)

About a month after that I was feeling better, working out although still very agoraphobic and having sporadic panic, it was becoming more manageable...Then at around 5 months I took a turn for the worst. I began waking up shaking (cortisol rushes) and having all over body burning and derealization, memory loss, all the symptoms one would associate with wd....

It got so bad and I was still so naive that I eventually reinstated again to lorazepam, which worked for a week or two and then turned on my...My mind got fried and has been that way since.....I'm willing to bet if I would have updosed or used klonopin, I would have better stabilized, but at that point I was so traumatized and upset that I had taken that poision again that I just wanted it out, I tried switching to valium to taper under docs supervision, but I was too far gone mentally and since it had only been about a month and a half back on, I (stupidly) rapidly tapered off....

That was 6 months ago, and here I am....My issue was never a psychological addiction, it was pure ignorance and wanting to end the suffering, which I now know has only complicated things due to what I believe to be kindling. I am SLOWLY seeing very small improvements that I believe to be a positive sign, and I know that staying away from all mind altering drugs, but especially GABAergics will be to my benefit....

I have a very clean diet (its hard to eat anyway) and try my best to exercise (my balance and muscles are so shot its often hard) But I'm hoping that in time I will find I'm able to do more and more....Just a month ago I couldn't even tolerate sitting on the computer, now I am able to for most of the day.

It really is a crazy thing, it's not uncommon, but its not something all benzo users experience, I have friends that abused the shit outta them and got off with some insomnia for a couple weeks. Yet here I am, and I have met many others like me that have no history of psych meds (were given them for injuries, insomnia, etc) who are suffering greatly from these drugs.

I believe they may have a cumulative effect on the damage they do, the more on and off them you do, the more desensitized your system gets to natural gaba and the withdrawal gets worse and worse each time....Just a warning to others. I'm all for drug use and experimentation, I would just hate to see anyone get bit in the ass like I did....I am just now getting to a point where I don't think about killing myself every day to get outta this suffering...It's been, and still is, pure fucking hell.

 

[CrazyPants]

Im going to print off the Ashton Manual and throw it in my doctors face.

Good call....At the very least print out the part about tapering schedules....The manual, while a great resource, is long as shit. He won't read it. Here is taper schedules http://www.benzo.org.uk/manual/bzsched.htm
Equivalency table: http://www.benzo.org.uk/bzequiv.htm and the case for using Valium(or at least another long acting benzo) http://www.benzo.org.uk/ashvtaper.htm

Good luck, your doc (hopefully) will be happy with your knowledge and support your decision.

 

[mankind]

I related to everything you were saying, being that I cold turkey a 100mg a day (A DAY) xanax habit for 18 months. I had everything you have now, plus the most real, and vivid hallucinations possible. 4 grand mal seizures. But eventually it went away. I don't know how you feel like this after 6 months of quitting such a low dose. I would go to the doctor ASAP! and I hardly EVER say go to the doctor. There is DEFINITELY something wrong with you brother (and I don't say that as a put down, I want you to get looked at and cared for!)

 

[CrazyPants]

I related to everything you were saying, being that I cold turkey a 100mg a day (A DAY) xanax habit for 18 months. I had everything you have now, plus the most real, and vivid hallucinations possible. 4 grand mal seizures. But eventually it went away. I don't know how you feel like this after 6 months of quitting such a low dose. I would go to the doctor ASAP! and I hardly EVER say go to the doctor. There is DEFINITELY something wrong with you brother (and I don't say that as a put down, I want you to get looked at and cared for!)

I've been to all kinds of doctors....15 at least, none of them can find anything wrong with me, nor can they help me....I am seeing small improvements in some areas, while others are still fairly constant (mostly the brain fog, derealization, depersonalization and obsessive thoughts) The fact that you experienced it all before makes me wonder why you say something is wrong with me....Dose has nothing to do with it, benzos are VERY short term medications (meant to be taken for weeks) I took them for months, off and on again cold turkey every time(which is also bad) and that is all it takes (especially in people sensitive to them) To completely fuck your whole GABA system and everything downstream resulting in the protracted withdrawal syndrome...Having been to every type of specialist I could find, some of which said it could entirely be from the benzos, I'm not sure I have any other options but to wait and see what happens....There is NO help....trust me, I have been searching and looking for a long time now. All I can do is wait, and hope. I have no doubt that benzos have done this to me though, everything coincides with when I used them, and the symptoms are reported by many across the internet (including on other threads of this site) and most sufferers find no true relief for months or years when their brains and central nervous systems heal. The ONLY other thing I can find that even comes close to this is lymes disease, and I've been tested for that like 5 fuckin times in the past year, all negative. I appreciate your concern, but I've seen every type of doc I can.

 

[ramblin_rose]

Gah! Reading this thread has sufficiently freaked me out. I've been on Xanax for about 6 years due to anxiety and insomnia. I've heard horror stories of people in rehab for benzos but your experience crazypants seriously scares me. I know I'm addicted to xanax and am terrified of the day when my doc wants to start taking me off. I'm going to file this info away to make sure if/when that happens that I do a nice looooooooooooooooong taper.

Hope you feel better soon or figure out how to feel better.

 

[CrazyPants]

Gah! Reading this thread has sufficiently freaked me out. I've been on Xanax for about 6 years due to anxiety and insomnia. I've heard horror stories of people in rehab for benzos but your experience crazypants seriously scares me. I know I'm addicted to xanax and am terrified of the day when my doc wants to start taking me off. I'm going to file this info away to make sure if/when that happens that I do a nice looooooooooooooooong taper.

Hope you feel better soon or figure out how to feel better.

Doing a sensible taper should help you to avoid my fate....Also the fact that it's xanax may be in your favor... I see a lot of people getting off xanax on the site I use for support, and while it is tough, they seem to suffer for less time. Just be smart and you should be fine....Some people get off incredibly easy.

 

[CrazyPants]

i think the rats in your head are putting lsd in your food again...

I wish this was like LSD, then I could actually enjoy it.

 

[cj]

Gah! Reading this thread has sufficiently freaked me out. I've been on Xanax for about 6 years due to anxiety and insomnia. I've heard horror stories of people in rehab for benzos but your experience crazypants seriously scares me. I know I'm addicted to xanax and am terrified of the day when my doc wants to start taking me off. I'm going to file this info away to make sure if/when that happens that I do a nice looooooooooooooooong taper.

Hope you feel better soon or figure out how to feel better.

The main thing to remember is that unlike opiates and other drugs benzo withdrawal actually damages your GABA system. This can be mitigated with a proper taper. Crazy pants fucked up by not tapering properly to begin with then compounded this mistake over time.

Crazy pants- there absolutely is a cumulative effect of damage each to e you go through benzo withdrawls.

 

[hisredrighthand]

I will say that in the benzo community there exists a congtingent of highly vocal people who are malingering their symptoms and playing to the choir in the same way they do their doctors. It's done in search of validation and if you look carefully often comes on the heels of things like being cut off or switched from high dose xanax to Klonapin, etc, as if telling it to the forum will somehow change things. And while there absolutely are terrible doctors cutting people off or b eing unreasonable with prescriptions when someone has a legitimate need, there are far more instances of people being weaned or reduced for very legit reasons, mostly because they were on absurdly high and unnecessarily addicting doses from prior unscrupulous doctors.

It's entirely desperate and I entirely understand it, as benzos will make you crazy and sometimes literally. Very few of those people did that solely to themselves.

Whether or not a condition is self-inflicted should not matter one bit as far as treatment is concerned.

I'm not at all saying that's what you are doing. I'm saying the nature of benzo addiction can be so all-encomapassing that one may do or say anything to justify continuing ones use at the standard to which one has become accustomed

I'd say more specifically it's the nature of benzodiazepine withdrawal that drives people to do or say anything to avoid it. However I also believe it is the nature of benzodiazepine withdrawal that objectively justifies almost any measure necessary to avoid it - unless it is the patient's own, firm decision to endure this horror to be free from addiction.

And while there absolutely are terrible doctors cutting people off or b eing unreasonable with prescriptions when someone has a legitimate need, there are far more instances of people being weaned or reduced for very legit reasons, mostly because they were on absurdly high and unnecessarily addicting doses from prior unscrupulous doctors.

I'd say once someone has become dependent on an unnecessarily high dose, it is no longer unnecessarily high. Any reduction in dose should be treated like complete withdrawal - in that it is unethical if done against the patient's will.

--

OP: What kind of medication have you tried so far to combat these symptoms? From your description it seems that almost any kind of medication would be justified to get you through this period, short of taking benzos again.

 

[CrazyPants]

Whether or not a condition is self-inflicted should not matter one bit as far as treatment is concerned.



I'd say more specifically it's the nature of benzodiazepine withdrawal that drives people to do or say anything to avoid it. However I also believe it is the nature of benzodiazepine withdrawal that objectively justifies almost any measure necessary to avoid it - unless it is the patient's own, firm decision to endure this horror to be free from addiction.


I'd say once someone has become dependent on an unnecessarily high dose, it is no longer unnecessarily high. Any reduction in dose should be treated like complete withdrawal - in that it is unethical if done against the patient's will.

--

OP: What kind of medication have you tried so far to combat these symptoms? From your description it seems that almost any kind of medication would be justified to get you through this period, short of taking benzos again.

I've done so much research into what meds may help, on here, longecity and the site I belong to benzobuddies, as well as various sites across the web....There really isn't anything of note that can help....Some say Lyrica/Gabapentin, which I tried way back and was having all kinds of bad side effects from it, plus it can have a nasty wd of its own. I am currently on 5mgs of prozac, which isn't doing shit (I'm depressed cause this sucks, not cause I'm depressed) and 3mgs of Remeron, which I take at night only to sleep and to keep my appetite up....The remeron works well (for sleep) although I would like to get off these meds asap. My brain and body are fragile and making chemical changes at this point could just prolong the agony. In my mind, the only way out is through....Although it sucks so fucking bad.

My biggest complaint would be the complete lack of mental ability, vestibular balance issues, and the awful dissociation....I'm not sure of any meds that can tackle these that won't amp up (stimulants) my other symptoms, besides benzos and anticonvulsants, which almost all work on the GABA system, which need to be left alone.

One thing I REALLY want to try, but can't, is high CBD cannabis, but I don't live in a friendly state...Apparently our new governor is willing to sign legislation to make medical, but who knows how long that shit could take.

 

[CrazyPants]

The main thing to remember is that unlike opiates and other drugs benzo withdrawal actually damages your GABA system. This can be mitigated with a proper taper. Crazy pants fucked up by not tapering properly to begin with then compounded this mistake over time.

Crazy pants- there absolutely is a cumulative effect of damage each to e you go through benzo withdrawls.

Your fuckin right I fucked up lol....I was a 15 year IV heroin and coke junkie....I just assumed benzos were the same as any other drug where you go off and on, stop, it sucks for a couple weeks, and then you go on your way.....WRONG.

 

[Whosajiggawaaa]

life is too short to waste many months being unhappy. just saying.... when the reward is what a slightly softer degree of unhappiness ?

 

[CrazyPants]

life is too short to waste many months being unhappy. just saying.... when the reward is what a slightly softer degree of unhappiness ?

Life is NOT too short bro, I'm not even halfway though my life and it took me FOREVER to get here.....I don't get what you are suggesting I do by these comments, go back on benzos? That would be the most retarded thing I could do, considering they are what did this to me, I never needed benzos before, why the fuck should I need them now....Don't you think if there was another option I would have taken it already? This shit takes time bruh...

 

[hisredrighthand]

Life is NOT too short bro, I'm not even halfway though my life and it took me FOREVER to get here.....I don't get what you are suggesting I do by these comments, go back on benzos? That would be the most retarded thing I could do, considering they are what did this to me, I never needed benzos before, why the fuck should I need them now....Don't you think if there was another option I would have taken it already? This shit takes time bruh...

Don't let others talk you out of this, as long as you have some fight in you. The way you describe your symptoms, I can't think of much in terms of medication that would help you. Actually the one thing that might help is Tianeptine, but it is very addictive. Still it might be useful, it certainly was for me in a similar situation.

At the time I had been taking benzos intermittently for half a year after a chaotic taper and I felt horrible most of the time, even on benzos, when I came across the Tianeptine. I did take a lot of it, about 3 x 150mg per day, but it was the first thing that really gave me relief from the debilitating benzo PAWS I was experiencing. But it was only by the grace of God that I didn't become addicted to it, which from what I've heard is at least as bad as a full-blown opioid addiction. (Look at the "Tianeptine danger and withdrawal" thread in OD)

It would be something to take one day per week, to get things done and have some repose from the horror of PAWS that you describe. But you'd have to be very aware that if you start taking it daily it will make matters infinitely worse - you don't want to experience opioid withdrawal while in the midst of benzo PAWS.