Vegeta1989
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2017
- Messages
- 5
Hey guys I made a huge mistake in life like many of us do I got addicted to painkillers for a year straight hardcore. At my peak of my addiction I would do 160 mgs of oxy all at once I probably should be dead but I'm a big guy so that's only reason why I think I'm alive right now
The only reason I stopped using was I developed a terrible stomach pain in my left side. It just happened randomly over night. It was so bad I had to go to the hospital. I told the doctors I had a terrible stomach pain but I didn't tell them I was abusing painkillers out of fear for many things. I had a c-scan done On my stomach and nothing came back so they sent me home that night with just Tylenol to help ease the pain.
That night I was sent home is when the withdrawals started to kick in heavily. I made a huge mistake that night I think that has fucked up my body to this day. I wasn't thinking straight atm and was also still having the bad stomach pain. I just wanted to go to sleep so first I took 1 mg of ambien had no effect. So then I tried 1 xanx bar no effect. Then this where I made the huge mistake that haunts me to this day I took 400 mg tablet of seroquel. Bam knock me out cold but then like 3O mins later I woke up breathing heavily for like 20 mins straight it felt like I couldn't get enough oxygen into my system. After like 30 mins I finally started breathing again more slowly then I just went back to bed and past out right away.
Its been six months since my physical withdrawals so I try to describe as best as I can. I was going through the regular withdrawals I assumed everyone goes through. O ya I forgot to mention I was slowly tapering down before stomach pain happened. I got down to 75mg a day plus smoking weed with it for a bigger high. Then I went complete cold turkey when I got back from the hospital b/c I assumed they fucked up my digestive system.So withdrawals started off with sleep disturbances, the shakes, flu like symptoms etc. Then things took a turn for the worse. First I didn't taking any notice of it b/c I though it was normal I started getting burning sensations and pins a needles in my toes I'm like this suxs but probably just another withdrawal symptom at the time. The next morning though I realized both my big toes have gone completely numb and that I couldn't move my toes like use to be able too. I started freaking out. I went back to the er told them my symptoms without telling them I was a pill head for a year like a fool hoping they would just found out doing some test. I had a c-scan done on my brain nothing came back. I was relieved but frustrated at the same time
So I'm back home still freaking out about my feet thinking I'm fucked forever. During my withdrawals I was using weed,benozs for the anxiety and seroquel for the sleep. So I'm going through my withdrawals all on my own no one knows from my family to my friends. This is the worst part now I get the same feeling I had in my toes travel to the tip of my penis the exact symptoms. I start having panic attacks crying out loud thinking life is over for me. The glans of my penis went numb the following day. So back to the er I go to tell them about my embarrassing situation. I had a MRI done now on my head nothing came back. I go home thinking I guess I'm losing my mind now and that the pills have fucked me for good.
I start going to my primary care doctor describing my symptoms from my feet to my penis. He has all kinds of test done on me all come back good except one test showed I a little to much carbon dioxide in my system. The causes are if a person has to much anxiety or they overdose on something. I forgot to mention I still didn't tell my doctor I was abusing painkillers out of shame. He tells me to do yoga and meditation. Kind of hard for me to do that knowing my dick is numb o forgot to mention I cant feel orgasms anymore and that my big toes are numb.
Im losing my mind at this point so I make an emergency doctors appointment with him and finally confess to him I was abusing painkillers for a year straight. The fucker doesn't even blink an eye just saying oya we get that a lot. I'm waiting for him to tell me this is the cause but all he says he doesn't think so and give time. In my head all I can think of is GIVE it some time!!! my fucking dick doesn't work anymore and my big toes are numb. I ask him for referrals to see specialist and he replies again give it some tim. I ask him about my dick all he does he prescribe expensive as shit E.D pills.
So now 6 months later pain pills free I still have all my symptoms. Dickhead is still numb and discolor. I can't feel any pleasure from orgasms anymore. My toes are still fucked up. I can't shit properly anymore without using laxatives everyday. As each day passes I become more hopeless then the next b/c of no improvements. I'm basically losing my mind at this point thinking my young life is forever fucked I'm only 27 btw. I am so miserable I drink here and there to help numb My mental pain for a short time but the next day is hell. Idk what to do at this point. All I think about is either straight up kill myself b/c I'm not going to get better or should I just start abusing again until the pills take my life. I haven't done either yet b/c a small part of me has some kind of hope that things will get better idk if I'm in denial or just plain stupid to believe this and I'm also scared of death. I really don't wont to die but living this current nightmare day after day is wearing down On me knowing I did this to myself is what truly kills me.
I write this thread to you guys looking for answers and support. Has anyone had any of the similar symptoms I am going through currently after stopping painkillers. Can anyone guess what you think cause this hell for me. Do you think there is still a chance of me getting my feelings back even though it has been six months and still no change. I appreciate all the advice and support b/c each day becomes more slippery then the next. I feel dead inside. All the things I enjoyed in life don't do anything for me anymore b/c of my physical stuff. I feel like a zombie. I'm scared
The only reason I stopped using was I developed a terrible stomach pain in my left side. It just happened randomly over night. It was so bad I had to go to the hospital. I told the doctors I had a terrible stomach pain but I didn't tell them I was abusing painkillers out of fear for many things. I had a c-scan done On my stomach and nothing came back so they sent me home that night with just Tylenol to help ease the pain.
That night I was sent home is when the withdrawals started to kick in heavily. I made a huge mistake that night I think that has fucked up my body to this day. I wasn't thinking straight atm and was also still having the bad stomach pain. I just wanted to go to sleep so first I took 1 mg of ambien had no effect. So then I tried 1 xanx bar no effect. Then this where I made the huge mistake that haunts me to this day I took 400 mg tablet of seroquel. Bam knock me out cold but then like 3O mins later I woke up breathing heavily for like 20 mins straight it felt like I couldn't get enough oxygen into my system. After like 30 mins I finally started breathing again more slowly then I just went back to bed and past out right away.
Its been six months since my physical withdrawals so I try to describe as best as I can. I was going through the regular withdrawals I assumed everyone goes through. O ya I forgot to mention I was slowly tapering down before stomach pain happened. I got down to 75mg a day plus smoking weed with it for a bigger high. Then I went complete cold turkey when I got back from the hospital b/c I assumed they fucked up my digestive system.So withdrawals started off with sleep disturbances, the shakes, flu like symptoms etc. Then things took a turn for the worse. First I didn't taking any notice of it b/c I though it was normal I started getting burning sensations and pins a needles in my toes I'm like this suxs but probably just another withdrawal symptom at the time. The next morning though I realized both my big toes have gone completely numb and that I couldn't move my toes like use to be able too. I started freaking out. I went back to the er told them my symptoms without telling them I was a pill head for a year like a fool hoping they would just found out doing some test. I had a c-scan done on my brain nothing came back. I was relieved but frustrated at the same time
So I'm back home still freaking out about my feet thinking I'm fucked forever. During my withdrawals I was using weed,benozs for the anxiety and seroquel for the sleep. So I'm going through my withdrawals all on my own no one knows from my family to my friends. This is the worst part now I get the same feeling I had in my toes travel to the tip of my penis the exact symptoms. I start having panic attacks crying out loud thinking life is over for me. The glans of my penis went numb the following day. So back to the er I go to tell them about my embarrassing situation. I had a MRI done now on my head nothing came back. I go home thinking I guess I'm losing my mind now and that the pills have fucked me for good.
I start going to my primary care doctor describing my symptoms from my feet to my penis. He has all kinds of test done on me all come back good except one test showed I a little to much carbon dioxide in my system. The causes are if a person has to much anxiety or they overdose on something. I forgot to mention I still didn't tell my doctor I was abusing painkillers out of shame. He tells me to do yoga and meditation. Kind of hard for me to do that knowing my dick is numb o forgot to mention I cant feel orgasms anymore and that my big toes are numb.
Im losing my mind at this point so I make an emergency doctors appointment with him and finally confess to him I was abusing painkillers for a year straight. The fucker doesn't even blink an eye just saying oya we get that a lot. I'm waiting for him to tell me this is the cause but all he says he doesn't think so and give time. In my head all I can think of is GIVE it some time!!! my fucking dick doesn't work anymore and my big toes are numb. I ask him for referrals to see specialist and he replies again give it some tim. I ask him about my dick all he does he prescribe expensive as shit E.D pills.
So now 6 months later pain pills free I still have all my symptoms. Dickhead is still numb and discolor. I can't feel any pleasure from orgasms anymore. My toes are still fucked up. I can't shit properly anymore without using laxatives everyday. As each day passes I become more hopeless then the next b/c of no improvements. I'm basically losing my mind at this point thinking my young life is forever fucked I'm only 27 btw. I am so miserable I drink here and there to help numb My mental pain for a short time but the next day is hell. Idk what to do at this point. All I think about is either straight up kill myself b/c I'm not going to get better or should I just start abusing again until the pills take my life. I haven't done either yet b/c a small part of me has some kind of hope that things will get better idk if I'm in denial or just plain stupid to believe this and I'm also scared of death. I really don't wont to die but living this current nightmare day after day is wearing down On me knowing I did this to myself is what truly kills me.
I write this thread to you guys looking for answers and support. Has anyone had any of the similar symptoms I am going through currently after stopping painkillers. Can anyone guess what you think cause this hell for me. Do you think there is still a chance of me getting my feelings back even though it has been six months and still no change. I appreciate all the advice and support b/c each day becomes more slippery then the next. I feel dead inside. All the things I enjoyed in life don't do anything for me anymore b/c of my physical stuff. I feel like a zombie. I'm scared
