1PlaneJane
Greenlighter
- Joined
- May 30, 2017
- Messages
- 17
Admin-please move if there's a better place for my essay.
This is my first post. About me. I've been addicted to opiates since I had my first bottle of vicaden at about 23 years of age. I know this because I found myself taking the two pills every 4 hours up until I finished my script and called in for more which I was denied. Ever since then, I'd try to get some from anyone that mention having it.
Thankfully I didn't know that people sold prescriptions until I was about 28. The year prior to that, a girl at work was getting her friends pain management scripts. I had two surgeries in the time frame in which I get refills on my meds. Coke came into my life at 29 just after my I was ordered to pay mental health their of an ex-H was awarded 4.5 years of spousal support, pay towards student loans the same amount of time, and pay him $16 grand in before the divorce would finalize while he continued to sponge off others.
I got to keep my house that was upside down by about $175 grand (fortunately the HELOC wasn't closed yet and was able to pay ex with it), keep physical custody of my daughters but pay $1250 in child care that I had never had to pay. I also started buying vicaden and norcos, drinking daily, and smoking canabis soon after he moved out. I was having to pull from savings just to pay monthly bills. Well alcohol,weed, and coke became daily friends when I'd get lonely at night after my kids were in bed. I blew through over $20 grand over the next year and a half and could no longer pay bills, mortgages, spousal, and child care if I was going to pay bills and feed my girls and I. I started blowing about a 1/2 to 2/4 ounces of coke and drinking before and after work and whole weekends when their dad would have them over about a year after losing house.
I met my now husband when using like this. I kept him in the dark about the coke as he was so clean. My anxiety ended up through the roof while I was hiding this. Rather that tell him, I managed to drop coke which led to me drinking even more and graduating to snorting oxys to continue functioning.
My opiate use has been ongoing since then besides the couple months I was taking 3 8 mg Suboxone strips after my unsuccessful back surgery. When I ran out after tapering to 1-2 mg daily, the withdrawals were so awful that I ended back taking about 15 norcos twice daily to keep out of withdrawal. As I started making better connects, I was taking any opiates I could get to keep from being sick. I finally found a less expensive connect to methadone. I was taking 12 10 mg tablets daily about two years ago and have weaned down to 3 a day as of this month.
I stayed off the coke ever 5 years and married the man I secretly quit for. My back flaired again after my boss refused to allow the work restrictions about two months ago and has me down in every sense. Well, my sister and 25 year old nephew were over swimming 4 weeks ago. I ended up drinking with them and was in the house with him and he offered me a line. I thought I probably shouldn't as I pictured myself using it and agreed.
We had about three sometime mid day. Six or seven hours later I called him to bring me a gram for myself after my husband went to bed. I have been using 2.5 8 balls a week since besides this past weekend when I took a day and a half break after giving myself a gnarly sinus infection. This has got to stop before I end up getting caught by my husband or daughter and hurting my family. I could use help and encouragement,replies and I'm open to help via pm.
I grew up to meth addicted parent and promised myself to do better for my family. I told you how I ended up and one brother coke addict and alcoholic, and my other two siblings are also alcoholics. I know first hand what a raid does to kids. I've got chronic back pain and mental health issues for as long as I can remember. I just want to be clean and living with my family.
What should I kick first? Tips?
This is my first post. About me. I've been addicted to opiates since I had my first bottle of vicaden at about 23 years of age. I know this because I found myself taking the two pills every 4 hours up until I finished my script and called in for more which I was denied. Ever since then, I'd try to get some from anyone that mention having it.
Thankfully I didn't know that people sold prescriptions until I was about 28. The year prior to that, a girl at work was getting her friends pain management scripts. I had two surgeries in the time frame in which I get refills on my meds. Coke came into my life at 29 just after my I was ordered to pay mental health their of an ex-H was awarded 4.5 years of spousal support, pay towards student loans the same amount of time, and pay him $16 grand in before the divorce would finalize while he continued to sponge off others.
I got to keep my house that was upside down by about $175 grand (fortunately the HELOC wasn't closed yet and was able to pay ex with it), keep physical custody of my daughters but pay $1250 in child care that I had never had to pay. I also started buying vicaden and norcos, drinking daily, and smoking canabis soon after he moved out. I was having to pull from savings just to pay monthly bills. Well alcohol,weed, and coke became daily friends when I'd get lonely at night after my kids were in bed. I blew through over $20 grand over the next year and a half and could no longer pay bills, mortgages, spousal, and child care if I was going to pay bills and feed my girls and I. I started blowing about a 1/2 to 2/4 ounces of coke and drinking before and after work and whole weekends when their dad would have them over about a year after losing house.
I met my now husband when using like this. I kept him in the dark about the coke as he was so clean. My anxiety ended up through the roof while I was hiding this. Rather that tell him, I managed to drop coke which led to me drinking even more and graduating to snorting oxys to continue functioning.
My opiate use has been ongoing since then besides the couple months I was taking 3 8 mg Suboxone strips after my unsuccessful back surgery. When I ran out after tapering to 1-2 mg daily, the withdrawals were so awful that I ended back taking about 15 norcos twice daily to keep out of withdrawal. As I started making better connects, I was taking any opiates I could get to keep from being sick. I finally found a less expensive connect to methadone. I was taking 12 10 mg tablets daily about two years ago and have weaned down to 3 a day as of this month.
I stayed off the coke ever 5 years and married the man I secretly quit for. My back flaired again after my boss refused to allow the work restrictions about two months ago and has me down in every sense. Well, my sister and 25 year old nephew were over swimming 4 weeks ago. I ended up drinking with them and was in the house with him and he offered me a line. I thought I probably shouldn't as I pictured myself using it and agreed.
We had about three sometime mid day. Six or seven hours later I called him to bring me a gram for myself after my husband went to bed. I have been using 2.5 8 balls a week since besides this past weekend when I took a day and a half break after giving myself a gnarly sinus infection. This has got to stop before I end up getting caught by my husband or daughter and hurting my family. I could use help and encouragement,replies and I'm open to help via pm.
I grew up to meth addicted parent and promised myself to do better for my family. I told you how I ended up and one brother coke addict and alcoholic, and my other two siblings are also alcoholics. I know first hand what a raid does to kids. I've got chronic back pain and mental health issues for as long as I can remember. I just want to be clean and living with my family.
What should I kick first? Tips?
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