frostyangel
Bluelighter
This moment I have so many different
concerns, so many people combined as
one...but each tear I cry tonite will
be one to each person...the scars have
earned are so deep anymore..I don't
care who comes and goes...I dare
to share where I am from..sometimes
it comes back to haunt me..
people.....
They push me...telling me the
ways to grow...they come to me
for what words of wisdom I can
offer....only to take my name
and bury it in the mud...why?
why? waste details that could
save someone elses' life..
Tonite, is a nite that I sit
in front of this computer and
cry...it's been a long time
since I felt these crazy emotions
inside...you tell me you want this,
show me that you want that...
my friends become lies...that
hold truth for someone else in
the cracks of my life...did you
ever feel so empty inside that
it shows within your eyes...
were your importance means nothing
not even to yourself..and the emotions
run so deep inside.. there is nowhere
else left to hide....
must of been the memories in you that
i was looking for..the shadows that
break in the morning light...the
wounds that heal when you close...
your swollen eyes..just one moment
of your time...when you stopped talking
about yourself, when you realized that
this life crumbled hard this time...
and all I wish is that I could just
fly....so far that the river meets the
skyline..and my bitterness will not
take over my emotions...I know what
I see on the outside is never what
is on the inside...and we just feel
as if we continue to die...without
that special time..that we wanted to
share with someone who cared just
as much as you needed them too...
well I do...and here is my hand
that was bent by your stare to the
opposite end of the rope that tied
my heart inside my chest...leaving
me with the tearducks that work,
when everyone makes me cry....
I know it's not easy for anyone of
us..I know when you feel empty inside
you feel like your left alone..and
noone will be there to see you cry..
I wonder sometimes if that person who
told me I was an angel...can still see
me fly...
I wonder if my grandmother still looks
at me with the same pride....
I wonder if my best friend still reads
my poems; just never replys...I know
I do...
I wonder if my mother ever felt that
I was the best little girl, she ever
had...even though we never shared
the same corrosponded note, when
a mother molds a daughter..
I wonder if at nite, when my little
brother closes his eyes...he'll find
me as important as I find him...in
my life..
I wonder if all that hard work pays
off in the end..
I wonder if the stones I shovel out
of my pocket....release my tensions
I wonder if all my writings are
worthwhile...
I wonder if I could be a better
person to everyone else from
my insides...
I wonder if you know...my loneliness..
is because many reasons never unfold..
and how many times must I sit here?
beating myself like this...knowing
that I could get up from this desk,
leaving all the pain behind on this
notebook page..I could go out and
fight for better things...but I
breathe hard, frown at my reflection
I can see on this dusty screen. But
I'm too lazy to even try..
I want to feel this tonite...I want
to let these tears fall...full of
fear inside. only means that I am
human. I'm going to allow myself
to be sad...so when tomorrow
comes I can wake up; rejoyced...
that I brushed a stone off...the next
day always comes as a better day,
unless you prove it quilty...
concerns, so many people combined as
one...but each tear I cry tonite will
be one to each person...the scars have
earned are so deep anymore..I don't
care who comes and goes...I dare
to share where I am from..sometimes
it comes back to haunt me..
people.....
They push me...telling me the
ways to grow...they come to me
for what words of wisdom I can
offer....only to take my name
and bury it in the mud...why?
why? waste details that could
save someone elses' life..
Tonite, is a nite that I sit
in front of this computer and
cry...it's been a long time
since I felt these crazy emotions
inside...you tell me you want this,
show me that you want that...
my friends become lies...that
hold truth for someone else in
the cracks of my life...did you
ever feel so empty inside that
it shows within your eyes...
were your importance means nothing
not even to yourself..and the emotions
run so deep inside.. there is nowhere
else left to hide....
must of been the memories in you that
i was looking for..the shadows that
break in the morning light...the
wounds that heal when you close...
your swollen eyes..just one moment
of your time...when you stopped talking
about yourself, when you realized that
this life crumbled hard this time...
and all I wish is that I could just
fly....so far that the river meets the
skyline..and my bitterness will not
take over my emotions...I know what
I see on the outside is never what
is on the inside...and we just feel
as if we continue to die...without
that special time..that we wanted to
share with someone who cared just
as much as you needed them too...
well I do...and here is my hand
that was bent by your stare to the
opposite end of the rope that tied
my heart inside my chest...leaving
me with the tearducks that work,
when everyone makes me cry....
I know it's not easy for anyone of
us..I know when you feel empty inside
you feel like your left alone..and
noone will be there to see you cry..
I wonder sometimes if that person who
told me I was an angel...can still see
me fly...
I wonder if my grandmother still looks
at me with the same pride....
I wonder if my best friend still reads
my poems; just never replys...I know
I do...
I wonder if my mother ever felt that
I was the best little girl, she ever
had...even though we never shared
the same corrosponded note, when
a mother molds a daughter..
I wonder if at nite, when my little
brother closes his eyes...he'll find
me as important as I find him...in
my life..
I wonder if all that hard work pays
off in the end..
I wonder if the stones I shovel out
of my pocket....release my tensions
I wonder if all my writings are
worthwhile...
I wonder if I could be a better
person to everyone else from
my insides...
I wonder if you know...my loneliness..
is because many reasons never unfold..
and how many times must I sit here?
beating myself like this...knowing
that I could get up from this desk,
leaving all the pain behind on this
notebook page..I could go out and
fight for better things...but I
breathe hard, frown at my reflection
I can see on this dusty screen. But
I'm too lazy to even try..
I want to feel this tonite...I want
to let these tears fall...full of
fear inside. only means that I am
human. I'm going to allow myself
to be sad...so when tomorrow
comes I can wake up; rejoyced...
that I brushed a stone off...the next
day always comes as a better day,
unless you prove it quilty...
