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#Honestly

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beeasybreezy

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 6, 2011
Messages
8
Location
Land of the Hipsters
Okay so I'm going to be completely honest... I'm in an outpatient program and from what I've gathered we're supposed to be celibate and not start any relationships for a year or so... This is so we can focus on ourselves... Now, when it comes to me... I don't want to abstain because I don't really think having sex and starting new healthy friendships is a bad thing. I'm not a horn dog. I can abstain from sex. But COME ON! A year?! I can't. Do you think a year is really a necessary? I mean... If need be I can abstain. But I am young. I do have urges. And I definitely don't like the idea of not getting to do what I want. Then again... I'm not trying to compromise my sobriety... Suggestions? (Preferably other than masturbation, why do it myself when I could have someone else do it for me? :-P)
 
Normally, I'd fully support you in not abstaining for a year, and tell you to enjoy sex and relationships.

but since you posted with a "#" and you claim to be from the land of hipsters, I'm going to vote in favour of abstaining, on the chance not doing so could result in a child being conceived, and thus hipster genes further polluting the world. :P

No, seriously, I do not think a year is necessary, and IMO, abstaining from sex, abstaining from intimate relationships, etc is unhealthy as it removes you from normal, healthy social interaction. Something that in of it self, increases the chances of a relapse.
 
rangrz said:
Normally, I'd fully support you in not abstaining for a year, and tell you to enjoy sex and relationships.

but since you posted with a "#" and you claim to be from the land of hipsters, I'm going to vote in favour of abstaining, on the chance not doing so could result in a child being conceived, and thus hipster genes further polluting the world. :P

No, seriously, I do not think a year is necessary, and IMO, abstaining from sex, abstaining from intimate relationships, etc is unhealthy as it removes you from normal, healthy social interaction. Something that in of it self, increases the chances of a relapse.
Click to expand...

Haha thanks for your response! Don't worry I'm not planning on populating the world anytime soon... And I couldn't think of a better title! :-P
 
They ask you to abstain for a reason. If you get attached and then have a shitty breakup they're afraid you're going to relapse.
 
beeasybreezy said:
Okay so I'm going to be completely honest... I'm in an outpatient program and from what I've gathered we're supposed to be celibate and not start any relationships for a year or so... This is so we can focus on ourselves... Now, when it comes to me... I don't want to abstain because I don't really think having sex and starting new healthy friendships is a bad thing. I'm not a horn dog. I can abstain from sex. But COME ON! A year?! I can't. Do you think a year is really a necessary? I mean... If need be I can abstain. But I am young. I do have urges. And I definitely don't like the idea of not getting to do what I want. Then again... I'm not trying to compromise my sobriety...
Click to expand...

Please see bolded text. I wouldn't call these friendships you're looking to develop 'healthy'.


Suggestions?
Click to expand...

The surest way to stay sober is to do what they tell you.
 
llama112 said:
There are toys. They can satisfy your urges.
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Satisfying your urges is part of the problem for an addict in recovery. So is a lack of willpower.

A year isn't that long. But if it is in your head, break it down. Start with a day. Then a week. Then a month. After that, you know you can achieve your goal in small manageable tasks.
 
kaywholed said:
Satisfying your urges is part of the problem for an addict in recovery. So is a lack of willpower.

A year isn't that long. But if it is in your head, break it down. Start with a day. Then a week. Then a month. After that, you know you can achieve your goal in small manageable tasks.
Click to expand...
I would be inclined to go with this....I kind of think the reason you're asked to abstain is to develop your discipline/self-control.

I'm 35, I am as much of a ho now as I ever have been....trust me, it's not something you're going to lose in a year.... ;)
 
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