Honest opinions....

[Magickduck]

Hello blue light... It has been A while... I lost my old account... I am writing you today to ask for some advice...

My fiancé and I were thinking about trying some MDMA again... Now before I bring up my concerns let me give you some background information...

We have only had one actual real good MDMA experience and that was years and years ago mayhaps three or four... and that was so fantastic I can't even describe... Any other time we have tried it, it has either not been good or even real MDMA and when it has we havnt done enough for any real effects.

Now back in the day we were young and stupid and did multiple extremely unsafe binges on mephedrone, methylene, and butyl one. We were using extremely reckless and toxic doses combinations and a mounts. I am very lucky to be here today... I spent a year recovering from this as the most unstable and anxious person ever... After recovering, this was very quickly proceeded by a ton of LSD in a very shirt period of time of about three months... This plus a ton and i mean alot of random psych rc's.This led me to a very scary and delusional place that I eventually climbed out of.. Then a month or two later I had a bad cactus (mescaline) trip that caused me to be very confused and anxious again. That was a few months ago.. Needless to say this was not very good on my psyche...however I learned a ton about myself others the universe and the human mind and experience.

Anyway I am feeling good and nearly 100% again for the past month or so. I have realized I can not take any more psychedelic drugs for a long while and am probably long overdue for a break from substances in general.

I am not here for justifications nor judgements but simply your honest opinions on the proceeding questions...

I feel my fiancé and I could really benefit in our relationship with some self psychotherapy with MDMA to help aid in the healing process of some personal relationship things before we begin our break from drugs...

Now... Do you think MDMA would be like a psychedelic and cause us to be unstable again and confused and spun out?(she's been with me thru this whole journey partaking herself as well) Or would it be as forcibly clear as last time? What about afterwards?

If we do decide to do it what should we do to avoid side effects?

Also random question and this is probably fine but at a screening appt at this medical facility they did an EKG on me and I have something called a Q Wave on my reading... They said it is fairly normal and and usually benign and not dangerous. Even Said it can indicate a strong heart. I am sure it is genetic because my father has it as well... Would this be an issue with MDMA or am I just being hyper-safe?

If we do decide, how much should we take? I was thinking 250mg or so because we have done 100mg and it has not worked that well...

I have a small amount of MDMA that I am fairly certain is of good quality. I have not tested it but I trust the person it came from and they said they tested it and it fizzed black.

Well BL what do ya feel?

 

[Folley]

If you haven't PERSONALLY seen a reagent test, don't take it. It could be a random empathogen RC or even worse, and that could easily send you right back into a very bad place. Even if you "trust" your connect, don't trust him.


250 is way too much to drop at once.. 100mg didn't work for you, do you more than double the dose? Nah man lol. Try like 150mg, if it's cut or low quality you can always redose, but if it's actually good MDMA that would be all you need.




Overall, I would probably stay away from MDMA unless you're going to use it for therapy only. Abusing MDMA will only make EVERYTHING you've gone through MUCH, MUCH worse.

Maybe try a small dose of LSD with a small dose of MDMA... that could be extremely theraputic with someone close.






Also, try and stay on your old account. Multiple accounts are not allowed on Bluelight... not a big problem in your case, but still, try and recover the old one.

 

[Magickduck]

If you haven't PERSONALLY seen a reagent test, don't take it. It could be a random empathogen RC or even worse, and that could easily send you right back into a very bad place. Even if you "trust" your connect, don't trust him.


250 is way too much to drop at once.. 100mg didn't work for you, do you more than double the dose? Nah man lol. Try like 150mg, if it's cut or low quality you can always redose, but if it's actually good MDMA that would be all you need.




Overall, I would probably stay away from MDMA unless you're going to use it for therapy only. Abusing MDMA will only make EVERYTHING you've gone through MUCH, MUCH worse.

Maybe try a small dose of LSD with a small dose of MDMA... that could be extremely theraputic with someone close.






Also, try and stay on your old account. Multiple accounts are not allowed on Bluelight... not a big problem in your case, but still, try and recover the old one.

Yes I know the rules. The old account is unrecoverable the email is deleted.

I defiantly cannot take any lsd because even small amounts 25ug have very profound effects on my consciousness that are not nessicarily positive right now..

and yes this MDMA is actually for therapy and I do not plan on doig it again for at least 6 months to a year... One of the reasons I want to dose large so I dont have to Try again. I will shoot for lower though.

I feel like it is a great tool for what I plan to use it for... My fiancé and I amongst all this tripping developed a sort of codependancy that was not good for our individual selves. We have done a lot of work on this ourselves without the use of chemical aides and have made a lot of improvement and pretty much handled it however I feel a good MDMA experience we can kind of finish it off and return to our love free from our bonds and such.

 

[Folley]

Sounds like a good reason to use.

If you want the therapeutic potential though, you want to dose lower. Actual MDMA therapy used 100mg of pure MDMA HCL. It's enough to open you up with love, but not enough for you to be too fucked up to do anything other than say how much you love your partner... you want to bring out the old emotions, not cover them up with new ones.. you know?

 

[jobe28]

In my experience doing MDMA won't have much of an impact on your mental health. It's more like acid that would mess you up.

 

[Folley]

^ you must not have a lot of experience.... one MDMA roll might not mess with you mental capabilities, but try telling that to the people who have gone through year long depersonalization, depression and anxiety from MDMA use.

I personally don't know ANYONE that was "messed up" from using LSD, or any hallucinogen. The one's I've heard about it happening to were always abusing a LOT more drugs than just LSD as well... usually a lot of stimulants at the same time. I know a ton of people, personally, that have had lasting mental health problems from abusing ecstasy however.

 

[jobe28]

Abusing either drug is going to be bad. MDMA's probaby just the safer of the two.

 

[Folley]

What's your sources for that..?

Because I can pull up a few studies that say that MDMA is a toxic drug in even low doses, and the metabolite of MDMA alpha-methyldopamine actually gradually destroys serotonin terminals. I can also pull up several studies that say that LSD is completely non-toxic and that it is impossible to overdose on and that the majority of users can take it and never have a single problem.. excluding maybe a bad trip.


You can't really say any drug is "safer" than another. That's so subjective, you could never find the right answer... In my opinion though, LSD is much safer because it lacks any negative effects on the body. It has potential to cause traumatic experiences, but usually only in those with a history of mental health problems.



I've abused both drugs very heavily. I'm still dealing with my MDMA abuse related problems, anxiety and manic-depression. I can't notice any negatives from my LSD abuse... not a single one. In fact, I'm much better off and happier now because of it... and I abused the hell out of it

 

[jobe28]

Yeah you're probably right. I have a history of mental illness which I should've mentioned. My bad.

 

[Folley]

haha sorry I don't mean to be a dick, though I'm sure it sounds that way.

Some people are just more pre-disposed to problems from drug use then others

 

[Magickduck]

What's your sources for that..?

Because I can pull up a few studies that say that MDMA is a toxic drug in even low doses, and the metabolite of MDMA alpha-methyldopamine actually gradually destroys serotonin terminals. I can also pull up several studies that say that LSD is completely non-toxic and that it is impossible to overdose on and that the majority of users can take it and never have a single problem.. excluding maybe a bad trip.


You can't really say any drug is "safer" than another. That's so subjective, you could never find the right answer... In my opinion though, LSD is much safer because it lacks any negative effects on the body. It has potential to cause traumatic experiences, but usually only in those with a history of mental health problems.



I've abused both drugs very heavily. I'm still dealing with my MDMA abuse related problems, anxiety and manic-depression. I can't notice any negatives from my LSD abuse... not a single one. In fact, I'm much better off and happier now because of it... and I abused the hell out of it

out of curiousty - what was the frequency/dosage of your mdma abuse? where would you constitute the line between abuse and use?

Magicduck, don't do this. Here is an objective view from someone reading what you wrote:

You abused drugs. Your body and brain were severely negatively affected by this. You went through a lot of agony over a very long time to recover. And now you say you want to take more drugs?

Don't do that. That is very foolish.

In addition - You need to learn how to know yourself, how to know your fiance, and how to constructively communicate thoughts and feelings without turning to chemicals. Start now. Given your history, I'm very skeptical of your plan.

That's my honest opinion, given in charity.

I mean, I am a drug user, yes.
There is a difference between use and abuse, however, and I learned the HARD way that abusing MDMA leads to AGONY... which is why I will never do that again... however, like I said I only had actual MDMA once and it was great and the theurpeutic value was incredible..but after that I said abusing mdma but I meant the analogues and rc's, however i feel abusing mdma would do the same or similar...

i know my fiance better than anything in this entire universe, and am very good at communicating feelings and ideas (as you can see in my first post)... perhaps you are not fimiliar with the difficulty of a codependancy... I am not willing to loose this relationship, and I feel I have done much on my own with this.. there are some things we need to let go of and get over, and I truly do feel with this the benifits may outweigh the negatives.

 

[jobe28]

.but after that I said abusing mdma but I meant the analogues and rc's, however i feel abusing mdma would do the same or similar...

I wouldn't think abusing MDMA would lead to the same thing as abusing mephedrone. That stuff is pretty bad. I don't know about the science of it but after doing both mdma and mephedrone a lot I can say I feel WAY worse mentally after using mephedrone.

 

[Folley]

I was taking ecstasy, first it was just MDMA but by the end a ton of the pills were all meth. Took like 4-5 pills a week.

That's extreme, I classify abuse as anything over once every 3 months. Take a 150mg dose with at the most a 100mg redose and nothing more for 3 months. That's not abuse

 

[Dmytry]

folley is right. MDMA can cause a terrible reaction to some users, especially in patterns of abuse. if you want to feel empathetic, maybe try 2C-B or MDAI or some other empathogen. psychedelics can work wonders whereas MDMA can potentially cause lasting emotional problems with abuse unless you are prepared and have taken plenty of time between rolls to let your serotonin recover.

 

[Foreigner]

I have lengthy experience with both MDMA and acid. MDMA by far has fucked me up more. I did take way too much acid one time and it took me a month to really start feeling normal again, but prior to that I took it more than a dozen times at heavy doses and was fine. MDMA on the other hand made me have to turn to anti-depressants to achieve a baseline, function-in-the-world mood again.

I agree with Folley that mdma + acid is a very therapeutic combination, but you have to take both at low doses so that you're still aware of yourself and your environment. You have to be with someone that you feel comfortable with no matter what, and be doing an activity that is fun and grounding. If you do things in such a positive way, it can help to repair some of the intensity of post-traumatic stress, depression, etc.

MDMA taxes the serotonin receptors but LSD is a serotinin analogue so it provides a sort of "fuel" for the experience. I find the combination more balanced than taking either on their own.

 

[Magickduck]

folley is right. MDMA can cause a terrible reaction to some users, especially in patterns of abuse. if you want to feel empathetic, maybe try 2C-B or MDAI or some other empathogen. psychedelics can work wonders whereas MDMA can potentially cause lasting emotional problems with abuse unless you are prepared and have taken plenty of time between rolls to let your serotonin recover.

as I said I cannot take any psychedelics, and I don't feel like MDAI would be powerful enough... I have something similar to PTSD I need to overcome... I don't feel like explaining it as it is highly personal...

anywho, once again, we talk abuse and use... I do not plan on using MDMA again after this, at least for a year or so...
What do you think about a one-time, low-ish dose use with her?

 

[cope]

Hey Magicduck,

i don't know how bad you have been hit by from what you recovered for a year, but since i am still recovering from mdma for 6 months now, i promised myself never to touch it again.

i don't know if i would survive another long term comedown.

i am still hoping that i will be able to be happy again, getting my clear head back and return to normal.

i would not take the risk

 

[Dawglaw]

+1 to what cope said.

A long term comedown is one of the most terrible things you can experience.

6-12 months of hell is not worth a night of fun.

It sounds that your brain has had enough, read the writing on the wall.

 

[augustaB]

3 or 4 years may seem like a long time to you MagicDuck but it's not really all that long.
If you have only had one good mdma experience how are you going to cope if things go wrong?
I think you should wait another year before starting to experiment with drugs again.
Let yourself and your mind get used to being normal and stable for a while.
If you do decide to do a therapeutic roll keep the dose small and set yourself a safe rolling area up in advance.

 

[Magickduck]

3 or 4 years may seem like a long time to you MagicDuck but it's not really all that long.
If you have only had one good mdma experience how are you going to cope if things go wrong?
I think you should wait another year before starting to experiment with drugs again.
Let yourself and your mind get used to being normal and stable for a while.
If you do decide to do a therapeutic roll keep the dose small and set yourself a safe rolling area up in advance.

I hear you, however I am probably going to do it... I've already got it haha

Regardless of the fact, I never experianced any negative effect from the MDMA, only from mephedrone, methyone, etc... Also, I think even doing that again, I wouldn't have a long-term comedown from one low dose experiance.