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Homesickness

hthr007

hthr007

Ex-Bluelighter
Joined
May 22, 2012
Messages
1,061
Im 21 years old and I've never not lived with my parents.

My cousin (he's 35, has a gorgeous house, lives alone) offered to have me move in with him for *very* cheap...I'm still in school but I work and pay for all my own things. I told him that I accepted his offer, so my move in day is October 1.

I have a great relationship with my parents. I don't want to get away from them because I hate them, I just want the experience of living on my own. They're both really sad about me leaving which makes me feel badly. I haven't moved out yet and I already feel homesick.

Has anyone experienced this? Do you think I'm making a bad choice?

I don't know what to do -- I want to move in with him VERY much so, but I feel badly knowing how sad it's making my mom and dad..
 
your going to have to leave the nest sooner or later. sooner is better than later. your parents will deal. But i def understand how you feel. Do what makes you happy.:)
 
How far will you be from your parents?

It's understandable that they're sad about you leaving, but it has to happen eventually and happens to everyone. Explain to them that they'll always be your parents and they're not losing you. With technology the way it is today you can Skype with them and have a lot of contact. If this is something you're ready for, you need to do it. They'll be able to cope with it. Do what will make you happy. <3
 
I think it is a great choice but it absolutely makes sense that you would feel homesick--it is all you've ever known, after all. You will be close enough that you can visit, right? It is next to impossible for parents and their adult children to escape the parent/child roles and it is healthy to do something to sever those--healthy for parents, too! My older son moved back in with us after 2 years away (to finish university) and I am dreading when he goes because we are very close but at the same time I want him to have a life separate from his Dad's and mine. It's great that you have a close relationship with your parents. Hopefully this move will make you even closer on a new level.
 
I'm only moving about 20 minutes away, so if I really wanted to I could visit them on a daily basis.

I guess just the fact of me being on my own is scaring me, because my parents did spoil me majorly -- now I'll be responsible for my own laundry, food, paying rent, etc.

I'm thinking that this will help me and teach me a lot of responsibility, plus I want to be able to develop into my own person without my parents being aware of every move i make and good (or bad) decision I make.

It's still a bit frightening to me, but I'm sure within a few weeks after I've gotten settled in, I'll be enjoying the freedom (my parents are both strict) + new found responsibility I have.

I'll make updates in my blog (if anyone cares to read lol) after I move in next week.
 
that happened to me to,except i had moved 3 hours away..i probably would have been a lot better if i was able to get my doc, but for the most part i kind of lost it.. Also, i wasn't so much home sick for my parents as I was for my nieces. My mother also relies on me heavily, my whole family does for that matter.

i think its good for you. it will also help that you're only moving 20 minutes. you can go home whenever you want.my moving decision was very rash.

i have to say though, im 28 now, and in the 10 years i've been gone i've never felt like i was " home" if that makes any sense. i have an apt and what not, but my "home" will always be that nice lil green house in the county.
we sold it last year after my grandpa passed away, it was hard seeing my home empty and going to strangers.

Things will work out, they always do..
Good luck, hun. :)
 
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I think moving in with your cousin is a good decision. Your parents freaking out is normal, but like others said, it has to happen eventually. Good luck!
 
problem is sometimes you can't know its a mistake until you make it... do think twice about it weather its a good choice or not but sometimes you just gotta try it out and see what goes down
 
I would encourage you to go ahead with it; any sort of major change in life is going to be upsetting to begin with but it's change which allows us to evolve as human beings. I am certain you will learn more about yourself, your strengths and weaknesess's and perhaps the realization of just how capable you are as a person living in this world.

I moved out when I was 19 and lived with cousins and friends for 3 years.. I matured a lot in that time and was able to grasp a better sense on what it's like to live independently. Those few years of responsibility eventually motivated me to do what I feared more then anything; to travel on my own.

And well after 5 months of travelling overseas solo i can't even remember what the concept of home even is.. It's wherever I am. But I surprised myself at just how capable I am of navigating my way through the world with just my own self to fall back on, making that first leap was hard as hell but you realize how easily it all comes together..

Good luck! :)
 
Your feelings are understandable as are your parents', but as was said you're going to have to move out eventually anyway and at 21 I think this would be the right time - especially since you sound quite ready. Are you an only child? Anyway, I think you should definitely go with the move, it'll be easy to talk to your parents and with skype and all you can even videochat. It'll be tough for them (and maybe you) at first, but they'll get used to it quickly, don't worry!
Edit: just read through the whole thread and saw you'll only be 20 minutes away, so I'll emphasize it again, you should go ahead with the move! I'm 18 and moved to a different country a few weeks ago, I know it's been very difficult both for my parents and siblings (more than for me - feel like a horrible person for saying that but it's true) especially since I won't be seeing them again for 3 or 4 months but trust me, you'll relish in the liberty!
 
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hmm. i ran away when i was 18. i wasn't particularly fond of my parents. but i didn't know what pieces of shit they really were. anyway, things didn't work out. and they said i couldn't come home. the one time i saw my old childhood home it had been converted and painted over into a fucking sewing room.

things could always be worse.
 
Update --

I moved in yesterday so I am now officially living out of my parents house. I'm really upset/sad, miss waking up to my mom going about her business throughout the house, etc. i really hope these feelings pass, but I am most definitley homesick...:(
 
It's going to pass eventually, and in your case your relationship with your parents will grow stronger as you begin to develop some independence. Treat it as a learning experience.

They're not far away from you so at least you can visit! The first time I was ever away from my parents was for 9 months and I was on the other side of the country!
 
21's a great time to be leaving the nest, and you're bound to feel sad and home-sick for a while. You've just left the safety and comfort of the parental home, the only home you've ever known so far, and taken your first independent adult baby-steps out into the wider world. Anxiety, trepidation, crises of confidence, sadness, loneliness, negative emotions of any description whatsoever are all perfectly valid and all too likely to occur emotional responses to that. It can be very daunting at first for sure, but it gets much, much easier once you've had more practice dealing with the day-to-day stuff and coping with the responsibilities. Get all your bills direct debits set up right from the off so the annual payments are spread over as many months as possible, be sure to get any documents required by the council and utility companies straight in to them all, cos the sooner done the sooner you can just forget all about it leaving your bank with the reponsibility for seeing that everyone's paid. So long as you keep on making the effort to put yourself out there and take advantage of the new freedoms you've got you'll quickly find these new-found freedoms more than compensate for the little inconveniences that come with your new responsibilities and the initial emotional difficulties. Enjoy it, have fun with it, your future starts now! ;)
 
I am so happy that you took the courageous step and moved out. Like everyone else has said it makes perfect sense to go through feelings of homesickness. Also, it is a testament to your parents that you miss them so much. Can I put a plug in for them? Write to them and share with them both your excitement with this new phase of your life as well as sharing how much you miss them--especially all the little things that gave you the comfort you now miss. I saved every single thing my boys ever wrote to me. It would mean so much to your parents and rest assured--they are also missing you! As your mom goes about her business, she is experiencing her own kind of homesickness for what was, but hopefully she is also happy for you, knowing that you are testing your wings.<3
 
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