cj
Bluelight Crew
Sorry ive been out of the online realm for a month. Me and my girl are homeless. Smoking meth everyday. Havent had a phone or wifi. But I got that sorted out I think.
Homeless
- Thread starter cj
- Start date
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
This sounds like interesting story. During my foster care days i spent lots of time on the streets, not having a regular place to stay when i escaped the institutions.
It can be hell, definetly combined with drug use. Speed is the worst and i did the Eurospeed, so i can bet meth is worse.
Best luck to you. If you just can and would like to give some insight, how have things gotten worked out? You said something along those lines.
I would love to read a blog about subject like this.
It can be hell, definetly combined with drug use. Speed is the worst and i did the Eurospeed, so i can bet meth is worse.
Best luck to you. If you just can and would like to give some insight, how have things gotten worked out? You said something along those lines.
I would love to read a blog about subject like this.
I've been homeless several times. Though usually I'm more the "hidden homeless" demoraphic where I'm just couch surfing or staying wherever. Shelter maybe, been homeless in rehab a couple times too. I've slept rough too but not as much as I'll find somewhere to be.
Last I was homeless I was staying at a dealers place, who got fed up with me being high all the time and not really performing well and he wanted me to to prostitute myself. I could not do this, I've sold my body for meth before just earlier this winter age 28 and I felt like I'd sold my soul. I was so terrified in the position I was in. I was in a psychosis as well hearing all the voices plitting against me and my thoughts in return were uncontrollably aggressive in return. I whispered to myself a lot. I wanted to kill the man I was staying with because I found out he raped a 14 year old boy and he ultimately was just some weird fuck. Smart for sure with multiple degrees, but whatever man the guy was a fuckin goof meth dealing asshole who wanted me to sell my body again....
I got away. I'm not really sitting here wanting to type out the whole story about all that. I'm in a safe place now and I have a wonderful man for whom I care very much. I'm doing so much better after months of up and down bullshit just recently. 2020 has been the hardest, most awakening year of my life for a lot of reasons.
I also spent a whole summer homeless in 2015. I was just out fuckin around, busking, playing guitar in bars, playing little shows a couple times, drinking my face off and doing whatever with a bunch of money I had saved and I was making decent cash busking too. $40-80 in a couple hours each day on average and my best day was a little over $200. That day I made $200 I spent about $1000 at the bar lol buying everyone drinks and tipping the band in 20s each one of them. In the end I wound up at this crazy persons place (ex-friend narcissistic sociopath who abused me for 6 years on and off) shooting heroin. Shortly after that I spent a couple nights rough with nowhere to go. I went to detox, then rehab, again for my 5th time.
It's fuckin hard being homeless man. Stay safe and watch out for these fuckin freaks out there. A lot of the population is seriously ill and will not hesitate to escalate to violence, theft, threats, blackmail, etc ,etc. It's a tough world out there, you're in with the hardest crowd now. Just get your dope and stay away. Try to find some help if you can. I've pulled myself out of homelessness several times, you and your gf can too.
Last I was homeless I was staying at a dealers place, who got fed up with me being high all the time and not really performing well and he wanted me to to prostitute myself. I could not do this, I've sold my body for meth before just earlier this winter age 28 and I felt like I'd sold my soul. I was so terrified in the position I was in. I was in a psychosis as well hearing all the voices plitting against me and my thoughts in return were uncontrollably aggressive in return. I whispered to myself a lot. I wanted to kill the man I was staying with because I found out he raped a 14 year old boy and he ultimately was just some weird fuck. Smart for sure with multiple degrees, but whatever man the guy was a fuckin goof meth dealing asshole who wanted me to sell my body again....
I got away. I'm not really sitting here wanting to type out the whole story about all that. I'm in a safe place now and I have a wonderful man for whom I care very much. I'm doing so much better after months of up and down bullshit just recently. 2020 has been the hardest, most awakening year of my life for a lot of reasons.
I also spent a whole summer homeless in 2015. I was just out fuckin around, busking, playing guitar in bars, playing little shows a couple times, drinking my face off and doing whatever with a bunch of money I had saved and I was making decent cash busking too. $40-80 in a couple hours each day on average and my best day was a little over $200. That day I made $200 I spent about $1000 at the bar lol buying everyone drinks and tipping the band in 20s each one of them. In the end I wound up at this crazy persons place (ex-friend narcissistic sociopath who abused me for 6 years on and off) shooting heroin. Shortly after that I spent a couple nights rough with nowhere to go. I went to detox, then rehab, again for my 5th time.
It's fuckin hard being homeless man. Stay safe and watch out for these fuckin freaks out there. A lot of the population is seriously ill and will not hesitate to escalate to violence, theft, threats, blackmail, etc ,etc. It's a tough world out there, you're in with the hardest crowd now. Just get your dope and stay away. Try to find some help if you can. I've pulled myself out of homelessness several times, you and your gf can too.
Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
Maan, this sounds really bad.
Okay, this is bad shit. But i gotta ask you a question.
You're male who's in your 30's and you're not in any special bulk shape or you know, no offense bro, but i mean that why the fuck selling yourself would be a good product? Who exactly would buy? Some desperate old gay men? Fucking shit i would never sell myself to men. Not women too, because i ain't the object i'm the one who objectifies.
Hope you find luck in your life man. How has your journey towards stopping meth gone?
It was a horrible mistake and I regret it. Not to nitpick too much cause Im fuckin close to my 30s but Im actually 29 and was 28 at the time. The guy was a mid 30s dude who liked me, made the proposition in a regular grindr hookup for a G and a cpl points and Im ashamed to say that I agreed. Then I came back once more for 1.5g..
I felt and feel horrible about it but I have to live with it and move forward.
Btw I know Im not the best looking guy and im a mess but I do attract a fair amount of attention in the gay scene. Im not the best but I do get told Im attractive quite often. This doesnt matter though, I dont really care. Its the inside that counts and I do feel pretty low and pathetic sometimes.
Im about 10 or 11 days off meth and 2 off alcohol. I cut my dxm bender short too, im sick of being fucked up and right now Im feeling ok. I have a vyvanse script which Im taking but Im doing much better just recently.
Im (relatively) sober, just started a new job, splitting an apartment with a wonderful man and Im starting university in sept. If I can keep myself steady, well, im aiming for my 30s to be much better than my 20s. Ive been a mess for years and Im finished with it. Gut feeling.. it probably wont be perfection but my trajectory is better than it was even just last week. Im getting better right now.