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Homeless shelters.

blahman8000

blahman8000

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 3, 2009
Messages
690
Hey all, I'm inquiring about availability of homeless shelters in New England. I'm a person who is hesitant to reveal the state I live in on the Internet, as I'd like to maintain as much anonymity as possible, so I guess this is a post/question about homeless shelters in general, and anyone else's experience with them.

I am unable to live with my family any longer. I'm in my mid-20s, am unemployed and desperate for a job, and I have about a pocket of nickels and pennies. I don't feel like I can get back on my feet in this house. I don't want to get into details, but it is an extremely uncomfortable and unhealthy environment for me, full of animosity, and it has led me back to drinking several times. And I cannot drink to withstand it anymore because I've nearly destroyed my body and drank myself to death already.

Do homeless shelters ever turn people down? I don't currently have a legal ID of any kind. I am technically allowed to live in my parents' house, but I feel as though if I am stuck here for much longer, I will kill myself and/or relapse into drinking. I understand that there are other people who truly have no where to go, and I might sound like a crybaby, but it is difficult to explain just how excruciating it is to be here. I am an adult and am unemployed and broke, without a residence of my own. I don't have any friends who will take me in. If I cannot get into a homeless shelter, I will almost certainly just sleep in people's cars or behind stores or restaurants.

Is it possible that I'm not eligible to live in a homeless shelter? I have plans that involve free training for a job, but they require me to have been sober for a year, so I may have to pursue something else. I just need a place to stay, and it cannot be here. I am trying not to be too dramatic, and maybe I sound ungrateful for having a place to stay in the family, but I can't be anymore clear about how this is no longer possible for me. I expect to be kicked out very soon anyway. I'd just rather plan ahead and get out of here and have somewhere to go.
 
Whatever you have to do to help with your recovery you should do, without any shame. Having a bad family situation is why many people are homeless when they are young--the majority, actually. The only red flag that comes up for me is that being in a shelter will also be stressful and so I wonder if you are trading one bleak situation for another. I know that you have been really struggling with alcohol and I can understand how constant tension can really wear you down and take away your resolve.

I know that the shelter here in my town requires ID. Is there any way that you can apply for a state ID card? I don't know how social services in your state work but there are a couple of programs here through county mental health services that are specifically designed to help people that are on the brink of homelessness. Have you tried talking to your local Drug and alcohol component of Mental health Services? Maybe that would be worth a shot.

At any rate, don't feel like you are being dramatic or ungrateful. It sounds to me like you don't know what to do but you know you have to get away from your family. Whatever feels like a better step to take is up to you. I just want to see you succeed in getting beyond drinking. Just remember that everything else will be that much easier once you get some clean time under your belt. Keep focused on that and get support anywhere you can. Much love to you, Blahman.<3
 
ish675 - I didn't know that churches took people in overnight. I'll look into that. I'm not particularly religious at all, though, so I'd feel odd taking their help. But I'm low on options.

herbavore - Thank you so much for the response. I agree with you, that it's time to do whatever it takes in order to recover. I feel like a homeless shelter would be far more beneficial for my recovery than living here. I have ended up relapsing a number of times simply because I feel deeply depressed in this house and around my family. But I feel like, as an adult, I have the independence to choose not to live with them and to be on my own instead (regardless of the resulting conditions), as living here makes me feel helpless and makes me want to drink so badly.

I'll look into applying for an ID of some kind. I do not have any money, but it can't be too hard to acquire $20 or whatever it takes. I just need to do whatever it takes to be on my own. I'm worried about my physical condition, and might end up going to a hospital soon. There are a whole number of things I need to do. I just hope there is some kind of help out there. I don't want to be stuck here, living through and with people who I feel so miserable and hopeless around.
 
Some churches take people in, you don't need to be religious or have anything to do with them. It is not a long term solution but it will buy you some time to sort yourself something better.
 
Thank you, OverDone and Anoymator. I'll look into these options. I'm going to try to get a state ID soon and maybe see if I can spend a few nights somewhere until I can arrange something more stable. Living here makes me very unhappy, and has repeatedly led to very heavy drinking. It has become intolerable. Being broke and unemployed tends to limit ones options, but I'm willing to settle for almost nothing if I can just have a small meal per day and a place indoors to sleep. At least until I start working again and find something better.
 
there absolutely are shelters available kind sir, however your need for anonymity severely limits my ability to assist you. If you live in a big city this should be a non issue. Do you have a car still? i'd assume no if you're inquiring about shelters but who knows. perhaps some particulars would help. I'd apply for public assistance immediately (foodstamps etc.) generally at any of these places you could begin your inquiry about the process of finding emergency shelter and the govt will put u up in a boarding house for like six months. I did this in NJ and was still using and my ego was to big to stay in such sordid places as a room w/ bunk beds w/ homeless dudes lol. was easier to accept while behind bars and in a much smaller space. ahhhh the ego of the alcoholic/addict - entertaining. the process of getting placed takes time 7-10 days if i remember correctly. so if your living place is as toxic as you describe, i applaud you in making the transition into shelter. obviously this is from my personal experience in nj, i've also done the shelter thang in st. louis. I'd start with foodstamps or some other state run office and go from there.
 
Thought I'd update. I am sober now, and I'm no longer as sick. I now have a license. I have no money, though. I'm still living here. Living here makes me sick. I've applied for food stamps successfully. I have no job. I need psychiatric help and cannot afford it without my family, which is consistently why I've refused to get psychiatric help. I am under a family member's health insurance plan and don't think I can remove myself from it even though I want to. Again, I do acknowledge that I am in a situation where I need psychiatric help. I cannot afford it on my own, will not accept help from my parents (I think for pretty good reasons), and thus I feel helpless.

But, to get back on topic, I am making plans to get out of this place, no matter where I end up. I am closing out my third day sober, and I want to stop feeling like I must have a drink before I lose my mind. I need to get out of here. But I feel stuck. I feel like I have no options. I'm wondering if there is generally a process available for people like me, living with family but desperately wish not to, who have been through substance abuse issues, been hospitalized, and have no job or money. I'm wondering if there is a process where I can have a place to live. There are free job training programs around here for people with low income, but they haven't gotten back to me, and I think it's because I'm staying with my parents. I feel like my options are so limited that I've got to do something drastic and literally become legally homeless immediately, regardless of how I end up.
 
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Many, many many congrats on 3 days!

Where i live the County mental health agency tries to place clients in housing but there are two drawbacks as far as your situation goes--1) you have to be a client of the county mental health system and 2) there is hardly any housing so it there are waiting lists. So, I've heard of it but I don't think in this economic era of budget cuts for all mental health programs that it is probably too feasible.Would it be possible for you to go to an inpatient program for a while and thus get connected with the mental health system in your county? You can also just go ask to speak with someone and explain your situation and see what they suggest.

You should be able to get psychiatric help without your family even if the insurance is from them. You are over 18 right? Your health care is your own affair. Just present your insurance card--everything is confidential.
 
herbavore, thank you. These past 3 days have been difficult. I'm trying to reintegrate the plan I had the last time I truly quit drinking: respond to each craving with something positive, whether it be exercise, eating a healthy snack, taking a walk, etc. But yes, living here is no longer an option for me. At least not for very much longer. I have a few plans to get me on my feet.

I have been diagnosed and treated for mental health problems in the past (ADHD, depression, anxiety, possible mood disorder, substance abuse, etc). However, I am not currently in treatment of any kind. There is an outpatient program that I was referred to during my last hospital visit. I'm a little nervous about that, but it was very recommended. Would I have to be involved in inpatient treatment in order to be considered part of the mental health system, do you think? I do intend to find a mental health worker of some kind so I can work on some issues. I just need to get some money together, which I'm looking into now. Worse comes to worse, I honestly might eventually just settle for working in fast food.

For some reason, I was under the impression that the head of the insurance plan I'm under would have some way of being informed of the treatments I'm pursuing on our plan. It's good to know that that isn't the case. In terms of finding a new place to live, I'm not picky. There are people with less options and who are in more need and are more qualified than I am, so I'd be willing to settle for a number of living situations. But for now I intend to take things step by step. I don't want to impulsively put myself in a situation where I'd be restricted from making things better and truly getting my life on track. If I can just get a job of some kind, look into some low income housing, and put my food stamps to good use, then maybe I can tough it out here for a little while longer. I just need to stick to a good plan. There are places that rent out studio rooms for artists and the like for a couple hundred a month, and if I can swing that, then I'd throw a bed and a mini-fridge in there and settle in until I find something better.

As long as I keep a solid plan in mind and feel like I'm working my way towards something better, I can keep drugs and alcohol out of my life.
 
blahman8000 said:
I just need to get some money together, which I'm looking into now. Worse comes to worse, I honestly might eventually just settle for working in fast food.
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Why not just go do a minimum-wage job like that right now? It probably won't be your dream job but why not swallow your pride and start working ASAP?

It'll pay rent and allow you to be somewhat independent from your parents, which probably IS a good idea at 24.

I have a university degree but there is not much work available in my field and area, so I work as a postman for minimum wage instead (I'm 24 as well). It's not much fun, but it's better than being unemployed and complaining about that online.
 
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lurching said:
Why not just go do a minimum-wage job like that right now? It probably won't be your dream job but why not swallow your pride and start working ASAP?

It'll pay rent and allow you to be somewhat independent from your parents, which probably IS a good idea at 24.

I have a university degree but there is not much work available in my field and area, so I work as a postman for minimum wage instead (I'm 24 as well). It's not much fun, but it's better than being unemployed and complaining about that online.
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I've actually applied for plenty of minimum wage jobs, and continue to do so. I'm not complaining about not being able to find a job, as I have worked a number of shitty odd jobs when I couldn't find stable work over the past several months (even while sick with liver disease), and I'm probably more independent from my parents than you think. I simply don't want to live with them. Finding a job and moving out are two different things. I just got out of the hospital, just sobered up, and have applied for a number of jobs, including fast food. I am trying to work ASAP. So what is your point? You can call it complaining, I'm simply letting things out and asking for advice, which some consider healthy.
 
You wrote:

"Worse comes to worse, I honestly might eventually just settle for working in fast food."

To me that reads as a complaint with a bit of a self-pitying tone to it. Almost as if you consider yourself "above" working in fast food.

Of course I DO hope that you'll find something soon, preferably a job that you enjoy. Especially when having sobered up recently and probably still going through considerable post-acute withdrawals. It's probably good to have some more structure to your life right now, which a job can provide even if it's shitty minimum-wage stuff.

Finding a job and moving out are two different things.
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Maybe so, though I imagine that being able to afford your own rent, groceries, and medical insurance will make moving out much more pleasant.
 
lurching said:
You wrote:

"Worse comes to worse, I honestly might eventually just settle for working in fast food."

IMO that reads as a complaint with a bit of a self-pitying tone to it. Almost as if you consider yourself "above" working in fast food.

Of course I DO hope that you'll find something soon, preferably a job that you enjoy. Especially when having sobered up recently and probably still going through considerable post-acute withdrawals. It's probably good to have some more structure to your life right now, which a job can provide even if it's shitty minimum-wage stuff.



Maybe so, I imagine that being able to afford your own rent, groceries, and medical insurance will make moving out much more pleasant.
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I don't think I'm "above" working for fast food, but I do think it would be settling as there are more pleasant minimum wage jobs out there. I've worked a lot of my adult life in fast food, and will do it again if I must. I'm just acknowledging that to me, there are preferable and hopefully available alternatives.

Paying rent, groceries and medical insurance is probably not something a minimum wage job can offer so easily. On top of that, actually getting my own medical insurance on a minimum wage job itself doesn't seem all that feasible, either. I appreciate that you hope for the best, and yes I do believe I am going through PAWS, but I am doing my best to add structure and more independence to my life, which is what this thread is about; asking for advice and feedback on plans I'm making to get back on my feet after a number of health and addiction problems I've had, including trying my best to find work and move out by any means because of the environment I'm in. As I'm looking forward, I do not think I'm excessively complaining and I can assure you I'm making an effort. Making plans, applying for jobs, sobering up, and getting healthy are not what I consider sitting around and complaining. That's all I'm saying.
 
If you're trying to work ASAP, look into temporary agencies. Places like Labor Ready and other temp agencies, you can often walk in in the morning, sign a list and wait for a job assignment for that day, that's daily work which varies day to day and they usually pay the next day. Some other temp agencies just have you come in for an interview and immediately place you at a job assignment which is more long term. I've gotten by with the help of such places during many bad times in my life.
 
zombiesarepeaceful, thanks for the suggestion. I looked up temporary employment in my area but couldn't find anything helpful on Google. However, I just looked into Labor Ready and there's a branch just a couple miles away. I'll definitely swing by there tomorrow. Hopefully I'll have some work for the weekend. Thanks again!
 
Everything you are doing sounds really positive. I know what you meant about fast food--of all the low paying jobs I ever did working in all that grease was the least appealing. I picked cleaning motel rooms over that! I'm hoping that the temporary work works out for you. I'm so happy that you have a renewed sense of momentum. You are doing great. Congratulations. I know it isn't easy.<3
 
Blahman,you mentioned New England but not what part.I only know about shelters in Ma.I was from N.Y./N.J. and 11 years ago I went to rehab in Ma.I stayed in this state not knowing anyone because if I went back to the Bronx,I would never stop using.I stayed in quite a few shelters in this state.In Cambridge,I was given a booklet that told me where the shelters and soup kitchens were.I thought it would be scary staying at the shelters but I actually had fun.It made me socialize,I normally keep to myself.One shelter in Watham helped me get section 8 so I got an apartment.I would never stay with family or friends,if I was homeless again,I would go back to the shelters.I would rather follow an agency's rules than friends or family.
 
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