Cosmic Mist
Bluelighter
Home.
Home is where i wanted to go.
But where in the hell do i find such a place? This place holds such conotations of peace, rest, happiness...
...family...
But does that mean that my home is where my family lives? because if it is then there lies a bit of a problem in your philosophy. You see, my family lives far and wide - across the city, state, country and world. I suppose you could clarify what you then meant, and define 'family' as my immediate relatives (father, mother, sibblings), but there too i hit a snag. You see, my father is a workaholic and spends far more time at the office than home, my mother lives in Longbay a long way away, and that just leaves my step-mother and brother, of whom i see only a few hours a week...
...so i guess family is out...
What about my man's house i hear you ask next - that could be considered my home, even though i don't pay the bills there and am not on the lease. You could say that that is my 'home', but therein lies the next problem, because there is nothing there for me. No clothes, music, meaningful decorations - none of the trimming that one would usually associate with one's own home....
...so i guess that option is gone also...
Where does that leave me?
The old adage would suggest that 'home is where my heart is' but does that mean that my home is Sydney, Melbourne, Montreal, London and Edinburgh all at the same time? These are all fine cities which have at some stage captured my heart, places i could happily live out a fair portion of my life...
... but i think that we already know the answer to that one...
So tell me then my friend, so smug and full of bright ideas, where is home? That's where i want to go, but this conundrum haunts me. I have lived in 15 different houses since my inception into this world, and still no where has felt like a place i could comfortably call 'home'. Reach out and smack me across the face with the answer, because i am too blind to see it...
I'm sure that for you the answer is all too obvious and as you sit contented in the place that brings you complete ease my question seems all too foreign and strange. Well when you've lived your life out of cardboard boxes for years on end, then come back and tell me that i'm playing the fool. Tell me that i'm blind. For now i'll keep on searching...
...searching...
...searching. For this thing i'm not even sure i'll find...
Home is where i wanted to go.
But where in the hell do i find such a place? This place holds such conotations of peace, rest, happiness...
...family...
But does that mean that my home is where my family lives? because if it is then there lies a bit of a problem in your philosophy. You see, my family lives far and wide - across the city, state, country and world. I suppose you could clarify what you then meant, and define 'family' as my immediate relatives (father, mother, sibblings), but there too i hit a snag. You see, my father is a workaholic and spends far more time at the office than home, my mother lives in Longbay a long way away, and that just leaves my step-mother and brother, of whom i see only a few hours a week...
...so i guess family is out...
What about my man's house i hear you ask next - that could be considered my home, even though i don't pay the bills there and am not on the lease. You could say that that is my 'home', but therein lies the next problem, because there is nothing there for me. No clothes, music, meaningful decorations - none of the trimming that one would usually associate with one's own home....
...so i guess that option is gone also...
Where does that leave me?
The old adage would suggest that 'home is where my heart is' but does that mean that my home is Sydney, Melbourne, Montreal, London and Edinburgh all at the same time? These are all fine cities which have at some stage captured my heart, places i could happily live out a fair portion of my life...
... but i think that we already know the answer to that one...
So tell me then my friend, so smug and full of bright ideas, where is home? That's where i want to go, but this conundrum haunts me. I have lived in 15 different houses since my inception into this world, and still no where has felt like a place i could comfortably call 'home'. Reach out and smack me across the face with the answer, because i am too blind to see it...
I'm sure that for you the answer is all too obvious and as you sit contented in the place that brings you complete ease my question seems all too foreign and strange. Well when you've lived your life out of cardboard boxes for years on end, then come back and tell me that i'm playing the fool. Tell me that i'm blind. For now i'll keep on searching...
...searching...
...searching. For this thing i'm not even sure i'll find...
