Up and down -- that's how my life has been these past few weeks.
And when i sit down and try to articulate my feelings,
Everything gets deleted or never even begun,
Because i'm so unsure of what is real, and what is not.
I know a few things.
I know that at the end of the day,
When the sighs of exasperation, the blinks of old tears,
The holding back of sighs, screams, and stifled laughter,
There's a void left there... where there's endless nothing,
A hole in my heart where I want there to be so much more.
There's no better moment in my day than the moment
Where you crawl into bed next to me and let me nuzzle under your arm
There's a security there and a reassurance that all the things i hated today
Where worth going through to get to here,
But then there are those moments where you turn your back to me,
And the outline of your perfect body isn't so perfect anymore,
When its turned away.
Those moments are filled with these silent screams,
Hot tears that pool in the corner of my tired eyes as i force them back
And they are filled with so much anger,
That sometimes i hug Stitch so tight that one day his stuffing will fall out.
I don't know why I'm angry,
Maybe its because i know that i try harder than anything to make sure you know how i feel about you,
How much i love you and think so much of you,
And all you can give me back is to turn away
And let me fade into the night alone
But i could never stay angry
Because the moments where you let me in --
They mean so much more
Even though they are short and far between
They give me something to look forward to,
And as much as i hate to admit it,
Something small to hold onto.
It's so hard to look at you and love you so much,
And just want you to be happy,
Knowing that your happiness is frozen in things i cannot comprehend...
Like your success and your dedication to things
And the way you can stick to a routine that holds you down so tightly
I wish your happiness could be as simple as mine,
The way my heart fills up when you touch me,
The way i feel alive.... when you look at me in just the right way
Or the way i feel when you kiss me.
But so short, and in between
Are the moments where you make me feel this way
And the sighs of giving up are more often than ever.
I wont allow myself to think there's nothing left here,
Because i'm in this for the long run
And maybe if i love you just enough
someday you will realize it.
maybe.
maybe i'm just the same naive girl i was years ago.
and i'll only learn when you break my heart.
but i'm willing to trust in fate.
i'm willing to wait and see....
And when i sit down and try to articulate my feelings,
Everything gets deleted or never even begun,
Because i'm so unsure of what is real, and what is not.
I know a few things.
I know that at the end of the day,
When the sighs of exasperation, the blinks of old tears,
The holding back of sighs, screams, and stifled laughter,
There's a void left there... where there's endless nothing,
A hole in my heart where I want there to be so much more.
There's no better moment in my day than the moment
Where you crawl into bed next to me and let me nuzzle under your arm
There's a security there and a reassurance that all the things i hated today
Where worth going through to get to here,
But then there are those moments where you turn your back to me,
And the outline of your perfect body isn't so perfect anymore,
When its turned away.
Those moments are filled with these silent screams,
Hot tears that pool in the corner of my tired eyes as i force them back
And they are filled with so much anger,
That sometimes i hug Stitch so tight that one day his stuffing will fall out.
I don't know why I'm angry,
Maybe its because i know that i try harder than anything to make sure you know how i feel about you,
How much i love you and think so much of you,
And all you can give me back is to turn away
And let me fade into the night alone
But i could never stay angry
Because the moments where you let me in --
They mean so much more
Even though they are short and far between
They give me something to look forward to,
And as much as i hate to admit it,
Something small to hold onto.
It's so hard to look at you and love you so much,
And just want you to be happy,
Knowing that your happiness is frozen in things i cannot comprehend...
Like your success and your dedication to things
And the way you can stick to a routine that holds you down so tightly
I wish your happiness could be as simple as mine,
The way my heart fills up when you touch me,
The way i feel alive.... when you look at me in just the right way
Or the way i feel when you kiss me.
But so short, and in between
Are the moments where you make me feel this way
And the sighs of giving up are more often than ever.
I wont allow myself to think there's nothing left here,
Because i'm in this for the long run
And maybe if i love you just enough
someday you will realize it.
maybe.
maybe i'm just the same naive girl i was years ago.
and i'll only learn when you break my heart.
but i'm willing to trust in fate.
i'm willing to wait and see....
