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highschooler - depression, drugs and socializing

mgmt&mdma

mgmt&mdma

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 21, 2011
Messages
575
Location
SoCal
Main question is at the bottom, this is just the story of how i got here:

after being diagnosed with depression by 4 different professionals, my 'parents' who sent me into this hellhole emotional ditch from sexually,emotionally,physically and mentally abusing me - still wont accept any offers to put me on meds.

we live in a VERY nice house, theyve gone to Hawaii once a year for the past 7 years, both have nice cars and i would consider them upper-middle class - yet they tell me that they wont have me put on ANY meds to help my depression because 'theyre too expensive'

So now im pretty much a loner at school, i hang with the 'druggie' crowd. dont get me wrong, theyre freakin awesome but they do WAY too many drugs for me handle which leads me to this post-

Since i dont wanna do anymore (ive done ecstasy 6x) legit drugs until im done with school, ive tried to refrain from hanging out with them outside of school. so my weekends are usually me just working out/doin hw (no-lifer best way to put it)

I get the feeling im wasting my life, i have this awesome vision of once hs is over ill be going to crazy partys n getting extremely shitfaced yet i feel like thats all just a dream. (cant explain it any better:\) btw ALL of the other ppl at my school are close-minded homophobes who wouldnt DARE be seen with me.

so my main question-

-What can i do to help reduce my depression?

-Am i wasting my time just waiting for the right group of friends/time to get fucked up to come around?

this post isnt meant to be a 'omg look at me im so sad' cuz im COMPLETELY content with my own company, i just dont know who else to ask this question
 
Hey man, firstly, welcome to Bluelight :)

Highschool years are really dificult for most people so I can totally understand how hard a time you're having. If you're depressed you are definitely best off steering clear of all drugs, especially MDMA. I just saw your post in the vent/rant thread about you applying for a job next week, that is a great idea man. It will give you something to do, goals to work towards, AND you'll meet some new people at your job. Best of luck with that <3

So your parents don't want you on any anti-depressants, but what about some counselling or something like that? It might help you to talk about what you're going through. I actually had some counselling when I was being bullied at school, and it helped me. Might be something to think about?
 
Hello and welcome to BL :)

With the abuse it sounds like you've been dealt a bit of a shit hand. I'm very sorry to hear that. However, you seem pretty resilient, which is a great thing and should serve you well in the future.

All I can really say is try to keep your head up and get self sufficient and out of your parents house as fast as possible. TBH they sound pretty ignorant :(

On the depression I want to strongly urge Omega-3 supplements and at least a multi-vitamin daily. I would also throw in a high extra dose of D and C..at least. A lot of depression and anxiety is caused by nutrient deficiencies. Not only can you get them without prescription, If that doesn't help, by all means try out the anti-depressants.

Good Luck to you, I wish you the best!
 
Highschool can be really fucking tough bro, hang in first of all - those years do end and sooner than later youll be at a ruin like where the fuck did the time go !!!

Secondly - I would def talk to your school councellor. It will be hit or miss with how you interact, sometimes it can be tough, but he or she should be able to point you in some good directions. Their job is to help you out, don't worry about it and know it is 100% confidential. Best of luck bro, keep your head up.
 
There's a lot of pressure to fit in, go to parties, and all that. There's nothing inherently better about going out and partying on a weekend rather than doing your own thing and working out. Working out, doing homework, and learning to be comfortable on your own will probably be more useful than going out and getting wasted all the time.

I think it shows a lot strength to have the opportunity to go out and party but to prefer not to because you realize that it's not your type of crowd. It's can be easier to just go with the flow and end up changing your own values based on those around you. So there's no need to settle for a crowd that you are not comfortable with.

Staying home doesn't mean you don't have a life, it means you do your own thing which doesn't need to match up with whatever other people consider to be cool or uncool. It's your life :)
 
thanks for the support guys:) it really helps. but i still dont know how i feel about hanging out on my own rather than getting wasted the majority of the time. its funny cuz i got to school today and apparently over the weekend they snorted some ecstasy, then 10 minutes later smoked abunch of heroin which only makes me wanna hang out with them less.

i do go to therapy and see the school counsiler sometimes, but the school counselor does NOT give a fuck so i dont waste my time with her anymore. and my therapist sides with my mom all the time so...oh well haha life isnt easy.

i seem to be getting on my feet, i made a few new friends today who seem to be JUST like me, we get along great and i feel like things will be getting better from now on. but hey ya never know.
 
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:) glad to hear brother, you're never alone. I know it may not feel like it, but I care bro. I hate to see anyone with a good heart hurting, we all share dna, we are all in this world together. Stay up man. Feel free to hit me up with anything.
 
Sounds rough man.

Although if I were you I wouldn't put anti-depressants and other psychiatric medications up on a pedestal. I went through a lot of depression in high school, and I was forced onto meds that did nothing or made matters worse (seroquel was awful for me, severe cognitive impairment). After going through a period of drug addiction I was on some SSRI's that made me feel extremely suicidal, which was not the character of that current depression.

As others have stated, high school years are always rough. I would argue that it is good if they are. This isn't a rule or anything, more of a generalization, but I have noticed that most of the people who were happy in high school are miserable now, and that most of the people who were miserable in high school are much more well adjusted to real life. High school is like a fantasy land that doesn't say anything about your future. It will end, and you will be happier eventually, guaranteed. Just stay away from the heroin, getting into opiates was one of the greater mistakes I have ever made.
 
once your out of highschool you wont ever see this assholes again. focus on yourself and get good grades and get the heck out. real life is much better , but harder. dont give a shit about what other peeps think.
 
It's my last year in high school for me, sports are great way to meet people. Try hitting up the library at lunch? Also i like your user name i love mgmt and mdma haha
 
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