Bl0nDi3
Greenlighter
I found this site while I was searching yahoo for ways to extend the half life of my Suboxone. We had some horrible flooding here 2 weeks ago and my sister couldn't make her Suboxone appointment so I had to help her out... leaving myself short (cut my dose in half)
Anyhoo... Since I went on Suboxone (in '07) I've taken on a completely new life, never spoke of the past... and really have no one to speak about it with since I've cut all ties to people from my past (I only hear from my sister when she needs Suboxone) have a whole new group of friends who have NO idea I used to shoot heroin.
I stopped the heroin in 2002 when I went to jail for forging checks (friends have no clue about that either) and never really had the urge to go back to it. In 2005 I started taking morphine and dilaudid... soon enough I had my habit back. I got pregnant while on it.. tried to stop.. I actually detoxed and had a month off the pills during my 5th months of pregnancy, but couldn't stand the PAWS.. so I went back on Morphine again, then went on methadone in my 7th or 8th month... I was only on it maybe 6 weeks when I had my daughter. Luckily, she was perfect when she was born, although 6 weeks early and tiny. She had no withdrawl or problems from being early.. They actually even wondered if my due date was messed up because she was in such good shape. I'm not sure if it was because I was on such a low dose or if it was luck... but I'm grateful for sure. She's my princess.
I stayed on methadone for about 10 more months, in that time they cut my dose in half and I was able to go on Suboxone... I've been on that ever since and had another baby in 2009 (who was also perfect)
I've pretty much come to terms with the fact that I'll probably be on Suboxone forever... I'm in no hurry to stop. Maybe I'm too weak to stop.. who knows? It has pretty much just became a part of my life and I rarely even remember what it was like to be on drugs.
I guess the whole "creating a new identity" thing helped a ton... Not talking about it or thinking about it and staying completely away from "people, places and things". But, it sometimes sucks that I can't speak about certain things because nobody would even begin to understand. I'm hoping I can get that from this forum.
They say that being honest about addiction is one of the main things you need to do in recovery.. but that's not even an option for me. The more I stuff it in my past, the better I feel. I guess I feel more like a normal person and less of an addict if I pretend it never happened... I dunno... but anyway, HI!
Anyhoo... Since I went on Suboxone (in '07) I've taken on a completely new life, never spoke of the past... and really have no one to speak about it with since I've cut all ties to people from my past (I only hear from my sister when she needs Suboxone) have a whole new group of friends who have NO idea I used to shoot heroin.
I stopped the heroin in 2002 when I went to jail for forging checks (friends have no clue about that either) and never really had the urge to go back to it. In 2005 I started taking morphine and dilaudid... soon enough I had my habit back. I got pregnant while on it.. tried to stop.. I actually detoxed and had a month off the pills during my 5th months of pregnancy, but couldn't stand the PAWS.. so I went back on Morphine again, then went on methadone in my 7th or 8th month... I was only on it maybe 6 weeks when I had my daughter. Luckily, she was perfect when she was born, although 6 weeks early and tiny. She had no withdrawl or problems from being early.. They actually even wondered if my due date was messed up because she was in such good shape. I'm not sure if it was because I was on such a low dose or if it was luck... but I'm grateful for sure. She's my princess.
I stayed on methadone for about 10 more months, in that time they cut my dose in half and I was able to go on Suboxone... I've been on that ever since and had another baby in 2009 (who was also perfect)
I've pretty much come to terms with the fact that I'll probably be on Suboxone forever... I'm in no hurry to stop. Maybe I'm too weak to stop.. who knows? It has pretty much just became a part of my life and I rarely even remember what it was like to be on drugs.
I guess the whole "creating a new identity" thing helped a ton... Not talking about it or thinking about it and staying completely away from "people, places and things". But, it sometimes sucks that I can't speak about certain things because nobody would even begin to understand. I'm hoping I can get that from this forum.
They say that being honest about addiction is one of the main things you need to do in recovery.. but that's not even an option for me. The more I stuff it in my past, the better I feel. I guess I feel more like a normal person and less of an addict if I pretend it never happened... I dunno... but anyway, HI!
