A little about me. 29 year old female.
Got hooked on H 2 years ago. Prior to that it was prescription opiat pain killers due to a litany of medical ailments. Now wanting to get clean. I've managed to keep this a secret from my friends and family! But you know what they say "what's done in the dark will always come to light" I'm living on barrowed time. I've spent over $60,000 on this drug this year alone and my husband is always questioning me about where money is going! Although we both have very good income and great careers it's only time before I lose all that! I'm done and want to get clean so bad! i don't want to lie anymore and I don't want to hide! I've admitted I have a problem that's the first step right? I need a lot of help and support! I'm alone in this fight! I will absolutely lose my husband if he finds out! No questions asked he will divorce me! And my family will shun me! I've been such a hypocrite because I do so much for my community and the elementary schools...speaking about the dangers of drugs and alcohol and keeping them out of our schools! But yet here I am getting high, doing the exact opposite of what I speak upon! I'm embarrassed and hope I've come to the right sight for the support!
Okay, not sure how much info I'm allowed to share I did read the rules and hope I'm not breaking any so here I go!
I start induction again, this will be my 3rd attempt but on Subutex this time. The first time my doctor tried suboxone and I don't think I waited long enough I was 12 hours in after my last shot and went into precipitated withdrawals! Of course i relapsed and the 2nd time not sure what happened, didn't go into precipitated withdrawals but after waiting 24 hours this time and scoring a total of 26 on the COWS worksheet and my doctor feeling comfortable because he we going on a higher COWS score this time and looking at my pupils, well that time tanking suboxone and being in my doctors office all afternoon on Friday! I was so sick, not PW but I wasn't getting better! My doctor then decided to try Subutex which doesn't have the added naltrexone (I think it's what it's called) my doctor seems to think I am having a horrible reaction the the naltrexone because I've used subutex a couple times in the past and worked perfectly but when I tried suboxone with the blocker it just kept me sick! I hope the subutex does the trick! Any info will be great! I'm serious about getting clean once and for all! If I don't I'm afraid I'll lose everything! Ive already lost so much now, relationships are in turmoil due to my secret addiction, finances, my body is all bruised up and can't show my legs because I'm an iv drug user also, that's my method. I make excuses and say that it's my blood thinner causing me to bruise easily (health related issues)
I can't keep living this lie! I can't keep destroying my body, I'm not the same women I was even 2 years ago when I started the hard core stuff (heroin)
I'm up to 4 grams a day!! Because money isn't an issue (well it is and my husband is wondering where all our money is going) I'm able to keep this habit going for nearly 2 years! I've never ran out so I haven't been dope sick in nearly 2 years! Other then my 2 prior failed attempts on suboxone the past couple of weeks! But like I said! I'm done and I once and for all want to beat this! I'm so scared that I may lose my life!
That's my story without doing too far into details! I'm trying to stay as discreet as I can!
Got hooked on H 2 years ago. Prior to that it was prescription opiat pain killers due to a litany of medical ailments. Now wanting to get clean. I've managed to keep this a secret from my friends and family! But you know what they say "what's done in the dark will always come to light" I'm living on barrowed time. I've spent over $60,000 on this drug this year alone and my husband is always questioning me about where money is going! Although we both have very good income and great careers it's only time before I lose all that! I'm done and want to get clean so bad! i don't want to lie anymore and I don't want to hide! I've admitted I have a problem that's the first step right? I need a lot of help and support! I'm alone in this fight! I will absolutely lose my husband if he finds out! No questions asked he will divorce me! And my family will shun me! I've been such a hypocrite because I do so much for my community and the elementary schools...speaking about the dangers of drugs and alcohol and keeping them out of our schools! But yet here I am getting high, doing the exact opposite of what I speak upon! I'm embarrassed and hope I've come to the right sight for the support!
Okay, not sure how much info I'm allowed to share I did read the rules and hope I'm not breaking any so here I go!
I start induction again, this will be my 3rd attempt but on Subutex this time. The first time my doctor tried suboxone and I don't think I waited long enough I was 12 hours in after my last shot and went into precipitated withdrawals! Of course i relapsed and the 2nd time not sure what happened, didn't go into precipitated withdrawals but after waiting 24 hours this time and scoring a total of 26 on the COWS worksheet and my doctor feeling comfortable because he we going on a higher COWS score this time and looking at my pupils, well that time tanking suboxone and being in my doctors office all afternoon on Friday! I was so sick, not PW but I wasn't getting better! My doctor then decided to try Subutex which doesn't have the added naltrexone (I think it's what it's called) my doctor seems to think I am having a horrible reaction the the naltrexone because I've used subutex a couple times in the past and worked perfectly but when I tried suboxone with the blocker it just kept me sick! I hope the subutex does the trick! Any info will be great! I'm serious about getting clean once and for all! If I don't I'm afraid I'll lose everything! Ive already lost so much now, relationships are in turmoil due to my secret addiction, finances, my body is all bruised up and can't show my legs because I'm an iv drug user also, that's my method. I make excuses and say that it's my blood thinner causing me to bruise easily (health related issues)
I can't keep living this lie! I can't keep destroying my body, I'm not the same women I was even 2 years ago when I started the hard core stuff (heroin)
I'm up to 4 grams a day!! Because money isn't an issue (well it is and my husband is wondering where all our money is going) I'm able to keep this habit going for nearly 2 years! I've never ran out so I haven't been dope sick in nearly 2 years! Other then my 2 prior failed attempts on suboxone the past couple of weeks! But like I said! I'm done and I once and for all want to beat this! I'm so scared that I may lose my life!
That's my story without doing too far into details! I'm trying to stay as discreet as I can!
