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Hi, I'm kim and i'm an addict

kimbell

Greenlighter
Joined
Mar 28, 2014
Messages
9
Location
south africa kwa zulu natal
In a nutshell, in an orchard of nut trees , a nut grove ? perhaps, i am defined by many many aspects. I have spent many yearstrying to get clean but it seems i lack a certain something that could keep me so. so now i have found a place within myself that accepts me completely and i am a pretty relaxed individual that loves philosophy religions and mysticism , i just happen to also shoot coke, or something my dealer calls coke . Who is to know what i'm actually putting into my veins. I am a paradox and a contradiction to myself . i try eat healthy and stay fit and enjoy outdoor life on the beach and hiking through the beautiful forests and grasslands where i live, i also like to shoot coke, maybe i don't like it but have somehow through the nature of what addiction is i have come to believe i enjoy it. that's me for now thanks for having me here
 
Welcome,
I feel like I could have written most of that myself. lol
I am also a walking contradiction...
I eat only healthy/organic food, I love nature and being fit, spirituality and meditation, and I can't stand western medicine and big pharma - and I speak out against both quite loudly and frequently...
But every day of my life I put crap into my body that comes straight from the source I speak out against...
It's pretty fukt, kimbell.
I have spent years trying to remove it from my life also...
yet here I am.

I enjoyed your intro, You're not alone.
hope to see you around. :)
Peace n blessings
 
I'd throw myself in pretty much the same boat. Substitute blow for opiates and there you have it.

Stay safe, and like he said, the one thing you aren't, is alone.
 
Aside from suicidal people, we are all addicts, addicted to life on Earth. We can't imagine life, without life. So don't give yourself a headache over it too much, I call it a lifestyle choice, because, at some point in time you chose to live this way.
 
Fellow healthy eater and vegetarian here! I feel like I'm a better person with drugs.. not trying to fry my brain but rather to be my best or "succeed" in society. good luck in finding help and info here!
 
What's up, welcome. I love forests and grasslands myself. Not much of a health person but I enjoy going out and walking through the woods or going out into a field somewhere.
 
Hiya Kimbell - and welcome to Bluelight.

Please feel free, if you have not done so already, to explore our recovery sub-forums, here at Bluelight. There are three sub-forums.

- The Dark Side http://www.bluelight.org/vb/forums/47-The-Dark-Side
- Sober Living http://www.bluelight.org/vb/forums/269-Sober-Living
- Mental Health http://www.bluelight.org/vb/forums/270-Mental-Health

Within the Sober Living there is a month, there is a thread where members are trying to get clean, and this thread is changed per month.
The current one is called "April Getting/Staying Sober Thread v. April Showers" http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/717802-April-getting-staying-sober-thread-v-April-showers

There are also some threads, on, The Dark Side, sub-forum, to aid people to try and feel more positive about their lives.
Share something POSITIVE from your day http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads...TIVE-from-your-day-vs-sunshine-and-puppy-dogs
Today I am thankful for http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/691239-Today-I-Am-Thankful-For-Ver-3-Earth-Wind-and-Fire!
Creating Positive change http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads...ge-vs-If-Nothing-Changes-Then-Nothing-Changes
Exercise 4 Health, Mental Health, and Addiction http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads...Health-and-Addiction-vs-I-worked-all-that-out

There's also the vent thread http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads...ll-you-how-I-really-feel-(Triggering-Content)

As well as this you are more than welcome to create your own thread. If you join the recovery forums, please familiarise yourself with the rules there because there are a bit different to the rules for the other sub-forums for obvious reasons such as no glorification of drug-use and other triggering content.

Hope you get out what you need from Bluelight and please don't hesitate in asking any questions as we'll be happy to try and help any way we can.

Evey
 
Welcome to Bluelight kimbell.

The poster above me really hit the nail on the head as in where to go for support regarding this issue.

For me I ran the gauntlet with cocaine myself and shooting it is something I did at one point. Really I decided to just put it down and never looked back as far as cocaine is involved.

At this point I do not even care for the stuff. I never really had to deal with low quality cocaine, high prices or problems getting it, but I am not sure if that helped me out. I really had the hookup and still could have it and straight up I do not want it. I am at the point where you couldn't pay me to mess with cocaine.

I suppose if I had really wanted more I could have taken a bit of time and just drove a bit further and gotten the it some where else. But at that point I saw my life so much better without it. I do not consider myself and addict but I would be considered a user.

What I use now is pretty much what my doctor prescribes me for something I genuinely need it for. I suppose from time to time I indulge in other things, but I really do not consider them heavy duty. That is really a bit irrelevant to your problem though. But that is how things worked out for me.

If cocaine is all you use and if you know it is messing up you life, you should know that it is not worth it. Also seeing how you do not know the quality of the product that makes it even worse and gives you a very good incentive to stop.

I find with cocaine there are is not much in terms of withdrawal. I mainly slept alot and then proceeded to keep myself occupied with reading, exercising, working, and working out. So basically I just stopped and did not look back.

I wish you the best of luck and I think you will find that your life is better without it. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.
 
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