This is my first post here, I'm not sure where to put it but this seems like it'd fit. I've never willingly used drugs and only once in my life gotten a contact pot high, I was straight laced or an idiot or whatever you call people that think they can somehow make it through abuse and come out without a scratch. I have a few actual questions in here, this isn't just a whiney nothing post.
Anyways, some four or five years ago, I made the mistake of hanging out way too long at a hospital while trying to work up the courage to ask them to see the room where I'd recovered from surgery. A security guard saw me and was NOT happy, and they called the police eventually. Like three guys showed up and one tried to pretend I had drugs on me (the guy held up a bottle cap from my pocket like it was some sort of damning evidence, maybe you guys know something more about that that I don't), later going on a list of BS questions until he got the bone he was looking for -- somewhere in the middle of the flurry, he got me to say that I was confused by him, but because I didn't literally phrase it that way, he took it out of context and bam, Schizo dx. Yep, he wrote a whole bit about hallucinations and shit.
I was given whatever they had there, mostly Zyprexa. They got pissed when I started skipping meals and eventually held me down and shot me with some shit simply because that's what they felt like doing and in those places they get to play god.
Anyways, my parents got way fucking abusive (not that they weren't before) after I left. We were obviously not on good terms and I was forced to live with them against my will. I was like mid-twenties but they treated me like a retard and of course that spurred some arguments -- after which, several times, they called the cops and used the fact that I skipped breakfast or didn't eat all my dinner or something absolutely retarded like that to tell the cops I was suicidal (I mean, inappropriate when you're a kid, but in your 20s? I'm not sure they don't have dementia). Cops showed up, didn't give a fuck what was going on, and put me on a psych hold. Hospitals were private and held me for a few weeks at a time (with the exception of the one time I managed to talk the guys at the ER into sending me to a public one, where they let me go a day later since they didn't want the liability of total BS).
Somewhere along the course of those four visits, I was given abilify (at the request of my parents, which I find disturbing), haldol, ativan and who knows what else. The last time, when my parents hunted me down five hours away (I gave them nothing more than a hotel phone number to call me at when my phone's battery died and I didn't have a charger, like a completely overtrusting mentally handicapped idiot), was about two years ago.
I was seeing therapists before all this shit happened. I was talking about the abuse that went on, and as a hypochondriac that presented them with every single mental disorder I could think of as a possibility (even pretending I had OCD based on my mom's habits to see if that was really going on with her). The most I got out of them was depression and/or anxiety, not this schizo shit. I know it isn't true, but there's a totally overwhelming amount of docs saying that I must have something serious the moment there was a wagon to jump on and I was at their mercy and not just another client in a normal setting.
The drugs are still in my system. I regularly get these waves or flashes or I don't know what to call them when I go to sleep. I feel that same, uncomfortably cold "chill pill" feeling and my thoughts go blank, my memory goes blank, and everything is fucking wrong. I often wake up a completely different person, and on those days, I don't recall having even had this happen (I'm not sure if it does at that point). My mind's slower than ever now (I was like, a normal moron before all of this happened), and my thoughts are basically just broken when I'm even myself.
If anyone gives a shit, do you have any advice (please trolls, save the "get help" shit and other ego jabs for your mom), from detox tricks (I've tried teas, lemon/cayenne stuff, and of course I've had tons of water over the last two years and it's still happening) to lawyers that are not assholes on the west coast?
Anyways, some four or five years ago, I made the mistake of hanging out way too long at a hospital while trying to work up the courage to ask them to see the room where I'd recovered from surgery. A security guard saw me and was NOT happy, and they called the police eventually. Like three guys showed up and one tried to pretend I had drugs on me (the guy held up a bottle cap from my pocket like it was some sort of damning evidence, maybe you guys know something more about that that I don't), later going on a list of BS questions until he got the bone he was looking for -- somewhere in the middle of the flurry, he got me to say that I was confused by him, but because I didn't literally phrase it that way, he took it out of context and bam, Schizo dx. Yep, he wrote a whole bit about hallucinations and shit.
I was given whatever they had there, mostly Zyprexa. They got pissed when I started skipping meals and eventually held me down and shot me with some shit simply because that's what they felt like doing and in those places they get to play god.
Anyways, my parents got way fucking abusive (not that they weren't before) after I left. We were obviously not on good terms and I was forced to live with them against my will. I was like mid-twenties but they treated me like a retard and of course that spurred some arguments -- after which, several times, they called the cops and used the fact that I skipped breakfast or didn't eat all my dinner or something absolutely retarded like that to tell the cops I was suicidal (I mean, inappropriate when you're a kid, but in your 20s? I'm not sure they don't have dementia). Cops showed up, didn't give a fuck what was going on, and put me on a psych hold. Hospitals were private and held me for a few weeks at a time (with the exception of the one time I managed to talk the guys at the ER into sending me to a public one, where they let me go a day later since they didn't want the liability of total BS).
Somewhere along the course of those four visits, I was given abilify (at the request of my parents, which I find disturbing), haldol, ativan and who knows what else. The last time, when my parents hunted me down five hours away (I gave them nothing more than a hotel phone number to call me at when my phone's battery died and I didn't have a charger, like a completely overtrusting mentally handicapped idiot), was about two years ago.
I was seeing therapists before all this shit happened. I was talking about the abuse that went on, and as a hypochondriac that presented them with every single mental disorder I could think of as a possibility (even pretending I had OCD based on my mom's habits to see if that was really going on with her). The most I got out of them was depression and/or anxiety, not this schizo shit. I know it isn't true, but there's a totally overwhelming amount of docs saying that I must have something serious the moment there was a wagon to jump on and I was at their mercy and not just another client in a normal setting.
The drugs are still in my system. I regularly get these waves or flashes or I don't know what to call them when I go to sleep. I feel that same, uncomfortably cold "chill pill" feeling and my thoughts go blank, my memory goes blank, and everything is fucking wrong. I often wake up a completely different person, and on those days, I don't recall having even had this happen (I'm not sure if it does at that point). My mind's slower than ever now (I was like, a normal moron before all of this happened), and my thoughts are basically just broken when I'm even myself.
If anyone gives a shit, do you have any advice (please trolls, save the "get help" shit and other ego jabs for your mom), from detox tricks (I've tried teas, lemon/cayenne stuff, and of course I've had tons of water over the last two years and it's still happening) to lawyers that are not assholes on the west coast?
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