Hi, i need help

[PlotLost]

Hi people,

I signed up to this page here as a kind of last resort. My life is completely fucked through my cocaine and alcohol addiction. I have been married 10 years to a great woman and we have a 2 year old kid together. Thing is i have always worked away contracting abroad and it has kept my addiction in check. I have quit my job to spend more time with my family and i am fucking it all up. My son and wife dont deserve this. Just need someone to talk to.

Thanks

 

[PtahTek]

My life is completely fucked through my cocaine and alcohol addiction.

A lot of times I feel this and work through it somehow.
My "conscious" wouldn't let me keep neglecting the wife and I'll tell ya you aren't alone in feeling this; just do not let it come to self-destruction, eh? No mind tricks. No "They would be better without me" as that is total shit.

No shit I was at the end of my chain when I found blurlight... had a fu**in major impact on my domain.
Welcome and gonna post as I am here and will be for a minute.
Maybe we can get something started with some dialog?
Love
Ptah

 

[MsDiz]

Hi people,

I signed up to this page here as a kind of last resort. My life is completely fucked through my cocaine and alcohol addiction. I have been married 10 years to a great woman and we have a 2 year old kid together. Thing is i have always worked away contracting abroad and it has kept my addiction in check. I have quit my job to spend more time with my family and i am fucking it all up. My son and wife dont deserve this. Just need someone to talk to.

Thanks

Hey, welcome to BL, I’m pretty new myself but there are some amazing people on this forum that will try to help you!

Does your wife know about your addiction? You might think you’re fucking up but you’ve admitted you’ve addiction issues and that’s the first step to becoming in control again. You will get through this, it will be hard but it will be worth it.

If you don’t want your wife to know would you call a helpline or tell your Dr about your issues? You need to have some proper help on how to go about tapering off the alcohol and stopping using the cocaine.

 

[PlotLost]

Hey, welcome to BL, I’m pretty new myself but there are some amazing people on this forum that will try to help you!

Does your wife know about your addiction? You might think you’re fucking up but you’ve admitted you’ve addiction issues and that’s the first step to becoming in control again. You will get through this, it will be hard but it will be worth it.

If you don’t want your wife to know would you call a helpline or tell your Dr about your issues? You need to have some proper help on how to go about tapering off the alcohol and stopping using the cocaine.

Thanks for the reply

A lot of times I feel this and work through it somehow.
My "conscious" wouldn't let me keep neglecting the wife and I'll tell ya you aren't alone in feeling this; just do not let it come to self-destruction, eh? No mind tricks. No "They would be better without me" as that is total shit.

No shit I was at the end of my chain when I found blurlight... had a fu**in major impact on my domain.
Welcome and gonna post as I am here and will be for a minute.
Maybe we can get something started with some dialog?
Love
Ptah

Thanks for reaching out bro, would you mind inboxing me i dont like to chat in the main forum. Thanks

 

[PtahTek]

Thing is i have always worked away contracting abroad and it has kept my addiction in check.

What can replace the contracting abroad? Something close?
It all came down to me getting broken to gain some ground.
It fucking hurts so bad.
Never wanna go there again so this is where I first got a toe-hold.

Thanks for reaching out bro, would you mind inboxing me i dont like to chat in the main forum. Thanks

Sure... give me a minute to put coffee on... this is my fri night and I done spent all my money so....
be back inna min

 

[PlotLost]

What can replace the contracting abroad? Something close?
It all came down to me getting broken to gain some ground.
It fucking hurts so bad.
Never wanna go there again so this is where I first got a toe-hold.

I have used the gym as my focus to keep myself occupued daily. This quarantine has fucked it up completely for me so im drinking, waiting for the wife to go to sleep and getting high. The guilt is killing me, pretty sure she knows what im doing.

 

[Jabberwocky]

G

I have used the gym as my focus to keep myself occupued daily. This quarantine has fucked it up completely for me so im drinking, waiting for the wife to go to sleep and getting high. The guilt is killing me, pretty sure she knows what im doing.

breaking an addiction and getting clean is 1000 times easier when you are honest and open with your family (in my experience anyway). The stress and anxiety of hiding it becomes something you medicate even more with your drug of choice.

 

[PlotLost]

G

breaking an addiction and getting clean is 1000 times easier when you are honest and open with your family (in my experience anyway). The stress and anxiety of hiding it becomes something you medicate even more with your drug of choice.

I've been

 

[PtahTek]

The guilt is killing me, pretty sure she knows what im doing.

My bet is on she does and if you do not get a grip the guilt may kill you.
Edit: I know some who let this happen.
Been with wife ~25 yrs and she knows everything.... If she asks a question and I do not wanna answer I do not answer. I would rather stay quiet than lie.
Occasionally I tell the truth and she knows it all the time. Saying what has a grip on me to my partner is somewhat empowering and freeing.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Hey, welcome to Bluelight!

I'm going to move this to The Dark Side, where you'll get even more support.