how innocent those first days are
everything induces a smile
all of the horrors of everyday life are deleted from memory
i was never hurt
i was never used
i was only what i am now...
happy....with you
ah, how you play with my mind
the harpstrings of my brain play wildly upon your every word
a musical genius, orchestrating such a work of art...
i just want to absorb you
take you in
just because you make me happy
such a simple thing
such an elusive thing, it seems
i lose all sight of everything in those cold blue eyes
you stare
you always stare
right into the green spaces on my face.
i revert back to that middle school joy, with the simple touch of your fingers tangled in mine
nervous, untrained kisses,....
become so lovely, not awkward
its the happiness that induces such doubt
from time to time reality interrupts my childish daydreams
and i remember the days of salty tears staining my face, reddening my eyes
when id devote poems to him, not you
id seethe in my own self pity
doubt my ability to be loved at all
and i realize you could hurt me
and i wanna run
i wanna run so bad
back to mother
back to father
back to the days when all that cute boy was, was that simple unattainable object.
id never have a chance anyhow....
back to the days when no other could hurt me
... it was nothing
i didnt care
i was pock marked and stupid
i was spoiled and ignorant to life in general
but now....im me...
and you seem to enjoy that.....
and that seems to scare no less than the living shit out of me....
wheres the oracle when i need one?
i just....
ah, dammit.
i just want...
you?
perhaps, i think, maybe
oh christ, this is horrible.
maybe you want me now...ive got a few things to offer...
ive got....
well, stuff.
but others have so much more....i guess i can hope that you are blind to that...
god, im jumbled...
i want you so badly..
you give off that feeling of home
you give me that feeling of lust again
sent me spinning
like the child i suppose i still really am...
------------------
::heaven holds a sense of wonder/and i wanted to believe/that id get caught up when the rage in me subsides::
everything induces a smile
all of the horrors of everyday life are deleted from memory
i was never hurt
i was never used
i was only what i am now...
happy....with you
ah, how you play with my mind
the harpstrings of my brain play wildly upon your every word
a musical genius, orchestrating such a work of art...
i just want to absorb you
take you in
just because you make me happy
such a simple thing
such an elusive thing, it seems
i lose all sight of everything in those cold blue eyes
you stare
you always stare
right into the green spaces on my face.
i revert back to that middle school joy, with the simple touch of your fingers tangled in mine
nervous, untrained kisses,....
become so lovely, not awkward
its the happiness that induces such doubt
from time to time reality interrupts my childish daydreams
and i remember the days of salty tears staining my face, reddening my eyes
when id devote poems to him, not you
id seethe in my own self pity
doubt my ability to be loved at all
and i realize you could hurt me
and i wanna run
i wanna run so bad
back to mother
back to father
back to the days when all that cute boy was, was that simple unattainable object.
id never have a chance anyhow....
back to the days when no other could hurt me
... it was nothing
i didnt care
i was pock marked and stupid
i was spoiled and ignorant to life in general
but now....im me...
and you seem to enjoy that.....
and that seems to scare no less than the living shit out of me....
wheres the oracle when i need one?
i just....
ah, dammit.
i just want...
you?
perhaps, i think, maybe
oh christ, this is horrible.
maybe you want me now...ive got a few things to offer...
ive got....
well, stuff.
but others have so much more....i guess i can hope that you are blind to that...
god, im jumbled...
i want you so badly..
you give off that feeling of home
you give me that feeling of lust again
sent me spinning
like the child i suppose i still really am...
------------------
::heaven holds a sense of wonder/and i wanted to believe/that id get caught up when the rage in me subsides::
