Hi fellow safe substance fans!!!

[BPD help plz]

I'm a newbee....i'm also desperate for help........i suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder and for 6 years i was able to live a stable and 'normal' life thanks to the self medication of methiopropamine i was a functioning working member of the human race....3 years without i'm festering away with agrophobia, self neglect and regularly fantasise about suffering from a terminal illness so i can live out my end of days in a morphine induced coma......seriously......please don't judge me harshly or dismiss me as its a daily hell and i have tried so hard to be ok with nothing but i'm not there is a reason i'm like this and i do not know how to be happy without drugs....i am a single mother of 2 children and yes.....i know what you're all thinking...selfish ****.....really i am not though...i just want to be a good parent, i want to show my children i can cope, i can't seem to hang on to anything resembling hope and i am DESPERATE....if somebody could help me by advising me how to manufacture my own....i tried making methcathinone to no avail.....my doctor knows how desperate i am is actually supportive of the lengths i am going to just to try and 'stay alive' and no i am not being over dramatic i seriously am on the edge here and slowly losing the will to live...........not the best intro i know...please help me

 

[Cheshire_Kat]

Hi BPD, welcome to Bluelight.

Don't worry, we don't judge people at Bluelight. I suggest that you start by heading over to the Mental Health Forum and start a thread there. There's plenty of solid advice and support over there that is focused on simlar situations, so you should be able to relate to the discussion, and they will relate towhat you are going through. We'll keep this thread going in New Members Introductions here so folks can say hello to ya.

Stay strong, you've got this.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Hey BPD help plz,

I too am afflicted with a personality disorder, and a mental illness. Know that you're not alone, and feel free to PM me anytime.

Hope to see you around.

 

[BPD help plz]

Hey BPD help plz,

I too am afflicted with a personality disorder, and a mental illness. Know that you're not alone, and feel free to PM me anytime.

Hope to see you around.

Hey madness00 thankyou for taking the time to comment, it means alot to me as i'm really struggling right now so thankyou so much

 

[BPD help plz]

Hi BPD, welcome to Bluelight.

Don't worry, we don't judge people at Bluelight. I suggest that you start by heading over to the Mental Health Forum and start a thread there. There's plenty of solid advice and support over there that is focused on simlar situations, so you should be able to relate to the discussion, and they will relate towhat you are going through. We'll keep this thread going in New Members Introductions here so folks can say hello to ya.

Stay strong, you've got this.

Thankyou White Rose for taking the time to comment and your advice is very much appreciated as i'm kinda struggling right now but already feeling a little better so thankyou so much

 

[BPD help plz]

Ok i know an apology is in order, what a daft intro....i tend to be rather too impulsive and jump the gun at times so my first day leaping around like some deranged fool i get a well deserved warning.........i no longer ask for how to make stuff.....unless anyone has a good recipe for chocolate cheesecake as all supermarket versions of the stuff are dreadful in the UK.....anyway, joke aside....sorry to cause offence

 

[Tonberry King]

Back around 6 years ago I had a mental breakdown that earned me a shiny new prescription of haloperidol. They were throwing other meds at me too, but that specific one is the one I remember because of just how horrible it made me feel. If ever there was a time when I felt lifeless it wasn't when I was sleeping in bushes & it wasn't when I went to jail, no. If ever there was a time in my life I felt lifeless it was when I was on that evil medication.


In your OP you talk about manufacturing, I think you are on the right track but in the wrong train. Figure out how to manufacture some of that, um...what is it called...? Um, yeah....HOPE.
That is what you need! Manufacture that!!! Instant gratification, as with drugs, is not always possible. Sometimes you just have to set a goal and just keep working towards it no matter what. Once your goal begins to blossom into fruition then you receive the greatest high of all.