Rcblackout
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jan 23, 2017
- Messages
- 14
Ive lurked this site for so many years i cant really even say how long its been.
Like most, I've "experimented," since I was a teen. I've always wanted to experience all that I can in any context. I seek out strange and exhilarating activities, events, cultures, even food. I was born an adrenaline junkie, skydiving is the best rush I've ever had. Im a tomboy so I like working on cars, guns, dirt/street bikes, MMA, etc. The only girly thing about me is my appearance, I still like to look pretty
Any way, drugs have always been an adventure on their own or enhanced whatever I was doing.
The only drugs I haven't tried were those that I couldn't find. I didn't like everything I tried but it was still good to have tried it. Coke, molly and acid are definitely my go-to's, but I enjoy K, DXM, shrooms, and amphetamines too. (Its funny but weed, the most docile drug, is always a terrible experience for me, so I dont smoke.) When I have my mind on something new, I do a lot of research. I look for chemical information, others' experiences, and of course harm reduction. The goal is always to have fun and be smart and responsible about it. I don't want to die or become hopelessly addicted to anything,
I screwed that up once sometime ago, I mentioned so in the first thread that I wrote. I ended up going back to college and partying just as college students do. As pain killers became scarce and unbelievably expensive, I opted for dope. I had done it many times before without a problem, except this time the friend I was hanging out with was an IV user. I decided to see what the big deal was, and I found that it was entirely different from insufflation. I also found out that after two weeks of using the needle, when I was ready to hang up my "party hat" for awhile, I started withdrawing. And it was the most God awful thing I've ever felt. It kept me (and my husband) using for several years until one night I came home and found him dead. He was 27 years old. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. I immediately got my hands on a months worth of 8mg suboxone and weaned all the way down to .25mg before "jumping off." It was surprisingly easy actually, and other than insomnia for 5 weeks the very mild physical symptoms were gone after just a few days.
I decided to write that cautionary tale hoping someone might draw insight from it, and anyone looking to get clean can see that it's not only possible, but probable.
It's been several years now. I still look for new drugs to try as well as my favorites, but keep it to twice a month or less. I can even take pain pills when I need them or do dope occaisionally without relapsing. Needing a substance everyday just to survive is scary enough to keep my ass straight.
Okay I'm getting off the soapbox now lol.
Like most, I've "experimented," since I was a teen. I've always wanted to experience all that I can in any context. I seek out strange and exhilarating activities, events, cultures, even food. I was born an adrenaline junkie, skydiving is the best rush I've ever had. Im a tomboy so I like working on cars, guns, dirt/street bikes, MMA, etc. The only girly thing about me is my appearance, I still like to look pretty
Any way, drugs have always been an adventure on their own or enhanced whatever I was doing. The only drugs I haven't tried were those that I couldn't find. I didn't like everything I tried but it was still good to have tried it. Coke, molly and acid are definitely my go-to's, but I enjoy K, DXM, shrooms, and amphetamines too. (Its funny but weed, the most docile drug, is always a terrible experience for me, so I dont smoke.) When I have my mind on something new, I do a lot of research. I look for chemical information, others' experiences, and of course harm reduction. The goal is always to have fun and be smart and responsible about it. I don't want to die or become hopelessly addicted to anything,
I screwed that up once sometime ago, I mentioned so in the first thread that I wrote. I ended up going back to college and partying just as college students do. As pain killers became scarce and unbelievably expensive, I opted for dope. I had done it many times before without a problem, except this time the friend I was hanging out with was an IV user. I decided to see what the big deal was, and I found that it was entirely different from insufflation. I also found out that after two weeks of using the needle, when I was ready to hang up my "party hat" for awhile, I started withdrawing. And it was the most God awful thing I've ever felt. It kept me (and my husband) using for several years until one night I came home and found him dead. He was 27 years old. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. I immediately got my hands on a months worth of 8mg suboxone and weaned all the way down to .25mg before "jumping off." It was surprisingly easy actually, and other than insomnia for 5 weeks the very mild physical symptoms were gone after just a few days.
I decided to write that cautionary tale hoping someone might draw insight from it, and anyone looking to get clean can see that it's not only possible, but probable.
It's been several years now. I still look for new drugs to try as well as my favorites, but keep it to twice a month or less. I can even take pain pills when I need them or do dope occaisionally without relapsing. Needing a substance everyday just to survive is scary enough to keep my ass straight.
Okay I'm getting off the soapbox now lol.
