BlissedOut
Greenlighter
Hi everyone!!
I'm a female who currently lives in the US but has lived all over the world. Also, I just typed this long intro out and accidentally hit a button that deleted everything I just wrote. ?
I'll try again but sadly it won't include as much detail. So I've tried most things however my genre of choice is opiates. I really like benzos too, especially Bars! I'm prescribed benzos, 30mg of Valium a day.
My first exposure to opiates (some of the best ones, too) was when I was about 13. I hurt my neck bad and had to go to the ER at the Hospital. I was in so much pain I could barely cry. My Mom was there with me. They gave me 3 shots - Valium, Dilaudid and Demerol. They put the rails up on the bed and I instantly learned what that was for! I felt amazing! I started laughing, then laughing uncontrollably! It was the best feeling I'd ever had.
Fast forward to when I was 21. I was seeing a guy who was (still is) a professional musician, bass player for a well known band. They were on tour and I flew to another city to stay with him a few days and watch the shows. After the first show, when we got back to our room he pulled out a baggies with something in it that looked white. He proceeded to tell me that it was heroin (not coke as I thought.) I was shocked, upset and devastated. I was still of the mind that heroin was a terrible thing that I'd never touch!
Fast forward a year - so for the last year, my boyfriend had tried talking me into trying it "just once." I finally crumbled, I thought, maybe if I say yes he'll finally shut up about it. That yes has changed my life forever. Nobody told me that it only takes once. After I did that first amount, I thought it was the key to solving all problems. Little did I know it would be the cause of all my problems....
So fast forward again...we decided we needed to get clean, he flew off to an expensive rehab while I suffered cold turkey at our home. He proposed to me several months later & I said yes. Everything was grand.
2 months before our wedding, he split up with me. It wrecked me completely. I went off the deep end and used so much that I was close to dying- I went off to the 1st of many rehabs and our friend I was hanging with died of an OD in a hotel room in the same city where I was in rehab. That hurt.
In 2004 I got on Methadone. I'm currently at 45mgs and I really want to get off of this stuff for good! So if anyone has any tips I'd love to hear them!
I currently dabble with different opiates but I haven't in a week or more and don't plan on it. I really want to free myself from methadone and live the life that I always wanted. I'm so tired of being held down by this ball and chain!
If you made it this far, thanks for reading and please say hi! ?
Definitely looking for likeminded others to chat with and I plan to use this forum as a place to hold myself accountable. I love the feeling of methadone but I don't want to be 50 and still going to the clinic! I'm fortunate to not have any children or a marriage so that right now I can focus on just myself to get better.
Anyways - thanks so much and I look forward to rejoining this community! ?
I'm a female who currently lives in the US but has lived all over the world. Also, I just typed this long intro out and accidentally hit a button that deleted everything I just wrote. ?
I'll try again but sadly it won't include as much detail. So I've tried most things however my genre of choice is opiates. I really like benzos too, especially Bars! I'm prescribed benzos, 30mg of Valium a day.
My first exposure to opiates (some of the best ones, too) was when I was about 13. I hurt my neck bad and had to go to the ER at the Hospital. I was in so much pain I could barely cry. My Mom was there with me. They gave me 3 shots - Valium, Dilaudid and Demerol. They put the rails up on the bed and I instantly learned what that was for! I felt amazing! I started laughing, then laughing uncontrollably! It was the best feeling I'd ever had.
Fast forward to when I was 21. I was seeing a guy who was (still is) a professional musician, bass player for a well known band. They were on tour and I flew to another city to stay with him a few days and watch the shows. After the first show, when we got back to our room he pulled out a baggies with something in it that looked white. He proceeded to tell me that it was heroin (not coke as I thought.) I was shocked, upset and devastated. I was still of the mind that heroin was a terrible thing that I'd never touch!
Fast forward a year - so for the last year, my boyfriend had tried talking me into trying it "just once." I finally crumbled, I thought, maybe if I say yes he'll finally shut up about it. That yes has changed my life forever. Nobody told me that it only takes once. After I did that first amount, I thought it was the key to solving all problems. Little did I know it would be the cause of all my problems....
So fast forward again...we decided we needed to get clean, he flew off to an expensive rehab while I suffered cold turkey at our home. He proposed to me several months later & I said yes. Everything was grand.
2 months before our wedding, he split up with me. It wrecked me completely. I went off the deep end and used so much that I was close to dying- I went off to the 1st of many rehabs and our friend I was hanging with died of an OD in a hotel room in the same city where I was in rehab. That hurt.
In 2004 I got on Methadone. I'm currently at 45mgs and I really want to get off of this stuff for good! So if anyone has any tips I'd love to hear them!
I currently dabble with different opiates but I haven't in a week or more and don't plan on it. I really want to free myself from methadone and live the life that I always wanted. I'm so tired of being held down by this ball and chain!
If you made it this far, thanks for reading and please say hi! ?
Definitely looking for likeminded others to chat with and I plan to use this forum as a place to hold myself accountable. I love the feeling of methadone but I don't want to be 50 and still going to the clinic! I'm fortunate to not have any children or a marriage so that right now I can focus on just myself to get better.
Anyways - thanks so much and I look forward to rejoining this community! ?
