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Hwife12

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Joined
May 31, 2017
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New member from MO here.. heroin by day, ice by night. Soon to go to Medical Detox. Trying to wean down until then. Looking for support & interesting stuff to keep busy until then.
 
Howdy Mrs. Heroin Wife #12.
In CA doing meth by day, meth by night. Soon to go broke and do a medicinal tox. I have no hope of weaning down. But I support yours!

When you say medical, you mean suboxone and sundry, or the one where they knock you out and pump you full of naloxone? Cause I'd probably pick heroin over that.

(You might get a Xanax or two for the meth, about it.)
 
Weaning down is realistically pointless. My intentions and attempts are always 100%. But it never works. Even though I try hard to deny it, I like to get high. And it shows every time I try weaning down. Because I get myself "off sick" which was my only goal, and ALWAYS end up talking myself into one more shot. One more line. And that turns into all I have left. Feeling normal is almost not even an option for me. And I HATE that. I hate that I want to get high. I hate that I always let myself down. I don't feel normal unless I'm high. And it's going to take a lot for that to change. I finally understand I am an addict and I need help.

Medical detox for me (basing this off of my last detox 2 months ago) will be suboxone (monitored) for 3 days in a "hospital" surrounded with other moaning and groaning addicts struggling to better themselves. After your "taper" is over (which is judged by a doctor the day you go in) they'll send you on your way usuallly to a 30 day program. The taper is monitored and it's up to your next step whether you take the subs with you or not.

my last rehab did not allow any type of substance aside from medication you have to take. From detox I took boosebars and clonodine and a sleep aid. However I "AMA"ed myself after 3 days of being at the facility and was not allowed any of those meds to take home. The next day, waking up in my bed I was withdrawing. This was 3 days off the subs and I still can't tell you what I was withdrawing from. All I know is that's why I picked back up and that's why I have to do this exhausting process over again. This time I will do it right and complete a 30 day program after detox.

Now when I was in detox I was along side strictly meth addicts and honestly, maybe an Ativan here and there but when it comes to meth, you really have to just be locked up in a facility and just sleep it off. It's not easier than coming off heroin, it's different. Neither are fun however both are possible. Best of luck.
 
It's a rough ride.

I'm a veteran of five in-patient rehab/detoxes, three separate locations, all for booze.

Only one of those did I not get medicated, and on day two I popped and went straight to ER with seizures. And as if knowing I despise the twelve-steps, the pink elephants gave me vivid hallucinations of Big Book phrases rolling across the ceiling all night before. Fun stuff! Actually, I'd been fearing/using seizures as excuse for so long, and yet it honestly felt pretty good afterward, not even counting the IV Ativan. It was some kind of hard reboot of my brain. I saw the ambulance pick up a few people from rehabs who preferred to suffer stoically and med-free.

By far the longest recovery times went to the opiate folks (and sort of the benzo kids, since all you can do is taper that down). (Shortest was crack cocaine, since they never stayed past three days.)

That said, there was a big difference in population with the opiate users. You could divide them into committed short-term white-knuckle suboxone fast taper, and extended long-drawn barely-drop suboxone users (I'm sure there were other meds involved, but thankfully I actually never picked that habit up). The fast tapers obviously did the best, while there. I hope it lasted outside, but unfortunately, no data on that.

The problem, of course, is that I've detoxed myself thousands of times. I know the fucking routine coming off booze. If it's really bad, yeah, I could use some benzos to help. But in three or four days I'll start to eat a little and in two weeks be mostly normal. After that, you're exactly where you were, everything as fucked as it was. Twenty-eight days doesn't change anything, not even the moon phase.

I'm trying to come up with something encouraging though (I can't use myself, since abstinence is not now and never was a personal goal). I do have a friend or two who kicked and stayed clean, one who took no pain killers giving birth. It has happened thousands of times. There is no magic to it, it just must be done.

Well, we see in a few days how kicking meth goes. I'm not too worried, since sleeping all day except for meals seems downright pleasant, and being broke helps prevent relapse. But, you can say the same about cigarettes, and I'm twenty years in and counting.
 
Hey welcome Hwife

I suggest you read scrofs posts here as he is funny and smart. One of the reasons this place is still cool after all these years.

<3
 
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