Natural4Better
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Mar 14, 2016
- Messages
- 2
I don't know how to start as I don't post on forums ever but I've been looking at this forum and drugsforum.com very rarely(unless I'm on adderall/other amphetamine)over the past 5 years and I believe this is a good site to ask this question since I'm desperate right now. A little bit about myself, I'm a Male, about to be 23 and lagging my junior year at my local university(completed 27/40 classes of Business degree,GPA:2.0). I dropped the semester last week because I decided to work full-time at Jack in The Box because at this point in my life I am very scared of my debt(low credit score) and feel naive for not being responsible about debt because I DO want to have a hot wife one day while making good money and make my family proud that they had only 1 son out of 6 children and he became a good MAN(lol such a random tangent)
My previous life I developed chronic anxiety late 2011(18 y.o.) triggered from dabbling with marijuana for this first time in my life during my sophomore year of college after 6 months of weekly use with friends. I stopped and never looked back but I still haven't hit a full recovery of well-being almost 5 years later. I don't take pills for it as I've tried numerous anti-depressants, benzos that made me feel worse but I decided 2 years ago to get checked out by a doc to see if I could have ADHD. I did seem to be inattentive ADHD as I subconsiously expected it time to time growing up(some teachers and parents hinted I needed re-direction and socially awkward and sorta slow finishing things)because I've been told I was intelligent and I made A's and B's and graduated high school one year early with half a year of college BUT LET ME TELL YOU I BASICALLY HAD TO REALLY KNUCKLE THINGS DOWN COMPARED TO THE OTHER KIDS I WAS LIVING A LIE THAT I WAS REALLY SMART TO OTHERS AND WAS TOO PROUD TO ADMIT I'M DISRUPTIVE AND TALK ON TANGENTS AND DON'T SUSTAIN ATTENTION. i was too proud and embarassed to get checked out before 21.The doctors and I agreed my 4.5 year battle with anxiety is rooted to undiagnosed and untreated ADHD my whole life. I've been prescribed adderall, ritalin, and vyvanse on and off in the last 22 months.
Unfortunately for me I've been misusing these meds right from the start. Please don't shun me but I think drug websites with my curiosity for a marijuana replacement contributed to abusing prescription narcotics.( I wonder if other addicts feel the same? Maybe these sites aren't so good for people like me) I know I'm so fuckin stupid I can't believe myself even typing this lol. I suspect this amphetamine addiction and weed is triggered from tobacco smoking (nicotine is a gateway drug) last 7 years. So if smoking is the problem that synergizes my amphetamine addiction I obviously need to convert to a non-smoker and tried multiple times during periods when I've quit smoking, it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to use adderall without getting ANXIETY which makes me relapse cigarettes and abuse adderall both together.This has happened all 13-14 of my prescriptions. i run out early and have to this day prescribed adderall and have never seen the true benefit of the drug treatment for my adhd. Its frustrating especially suffering from anxiety as well.
I didn't take any for over 2 weeks until my doctor appointment last thurday he bumped me from 20mgXR to 30mgXR even though I told him it didn't last long enough since XR probably covers symptoms for probably 7.5 hours max and just need to maybe add IR dose when XR wears off but he bumpted it to 30mg saying it would fix the problem and it hasn't. I got the script 4 days ago and have already used atleast 8 pills
Everytime I think I'm going to start using it normally once a day, I don't because either of wanting to chain smoke and take adderall or scared to use adderall once a day as a non-smoker since it really makes me have a strong craving.
Please give me suggestions as I'm new and just wanting some help. And I trust you guys, you seem very intelligent and know what you're talking about.Thank You, and God Bless!
(I know this post is a little everywhere but I'm trying to get everything out without overcomplicating it, but can't simplify it either, and I apologize for the bad grammar)
My previous life I developed chronic anxiety late 2011(18 y.o.) triggered from dabbling with marijuana for this first time in my life during my sophomore year of college after 6 months of weekly use with friends. I stopped and never looked back but I still haven't hit a full recovery of well-being almost 5 years later. I don't take pills for it as I've tried numerous anti-depressants, benzos that made me feel worse but I decided 2 years ago to get checked out by a doc to see if I could have ADHD. I did seem to be inattentive ADHD as I subconsiously expected it time to time growing up(some teachers and parents hinted I needed re-direction and socially awkward and sorta slow finishing things)because I've been told I was intelligent and I made A's and B's and graduated high school one year early with half a year of college BUT LET ME TELL YOU I BASICALLY HAD TO REALLY KNUCKLE THINGS DOWN COMPARED TO THE OTHER KIDS I WAS LIVING A LIE THAT I WAS REALLY SMART TO OTHERS AND WAS TOO PROUD TO ADMIT I'M DISRUPTIVE AND TALK ON TANGENTS AND DON'T SUSTAIN ATTENTION. i was too proud and embarassed to get checked out before 21.The doctors and I agreed my 4.5 year battle with anxiety is rooted to undiagnosed and untreated ADHD my whole life. I've been prescribed adderall, ritalin, and vyvanse on and off in the last 22 months.
Unfortunately for me I've been misusing these meds right from the start. Please don't shun me but I think drug websites with my curiosity for a marijuana replacement contributed to abusing prescription narcotics.( I wonder if other addicts feel the same? Maybe these sites aren't so good for people like me) I know I'm so fuckin stupid I can't believe myself even typing this lol. I suspect this amphetamine addiction and weed is triggered from tobacco smoking (nicotine is a gateway drug) last 7 years. So if smoking is the problem that synergizes my amphetamine addiction I obviously need to convert to a non-smoker and tried multiple times during periods when I've quit smoking, it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to use adderall without getting ANXIETY which makes me relapse cigarettes and abuse adderall both together.This has happened all 13-14 of my prescriptions. i run out early and have to this day prescribed adderall and have never seen the true benefit of the drug treatment for my adhd. Its frustrating especially suffering from anxiety as well.
I didn't take any for over 2 weeks until my doctor appointment last thurday he bumped me from 20mgXR to 30mgXR even though I told him it didn't last long enough since XR probably covers symptoms for probably 7.5 hours max and just need to maybe add IR dose when XR wears off but he bumpted it to 30mg saying it would fix the problem and it hasn't. I got the script 4 days ago and have already used atleast 8 pills
Everytime I think I'm going to start using it normally once a day, I don't because either of wanting to chain smoke and take adderall or scared to use adderall once a day as a non-smoker since it really makes me have a strong craving.
Please give me suggestions as I'm new and just wanting some help. And I trust you guys, you seem very intelligent and know what you're talking about.Thank You, and God Bless!
(I know this post is a little everywhere but I'm trying to get everything out without overcomplicating it, but can't simplify it either, and I apologize for the bad grammar)
