• Hello Graphic
    NEW MEMBER'S GUIDE
    INTRODUCE YOURSELF
    YOUR FAVORITE DRUGS?
    WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

  • NMI Moderators: M!$TER-ED

Hey everyone, what do you think I should do?

J

Jimmy3

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 1, 2012
Messages
5
Location
Ohio
I love this site and always appreciate the help I get from just reading but I feel the need to ask you guys some advice. I was bouncing back and forth from H to sub for a few months over the winter, and then in February I went on a fully blown H bender. 10 days ago I started taking about 2mgs of Sub a day for 4 days. The past 6 days I've been taking 1mg a day. Yesterday was a very bad day and my family went through some crazy stuff so I ended up taking an extra 1 mg in the afternoon because I felt like I was losing it and I dunno i guess it helped. Now today I feel compelled to take a second 1mg dose (I already took a 1mg sliver this morning) but Im not sure if I should.

Suboxone really does help, but I know its because it is giving me a fix and for the first time in my life I want to be drug free and love my body. Ive been going to the gym the past week and I want to stick with that and not be dependant on any drugs at all. I love smoking weed, and Im guilty of popping a xanax here and there to help me sleep but I know these all need to go. The thing is I hear so many horror stories about gettting of sub, it makes me not want to stick with it too long, maybe jump completely within the next week. Like i said, i want to be totally clean, but I have a feeling that Im going to want some sort of comfort meds when I jump, whether its prescribed clonodine, or smoking herb, or a trazadone for sleep, I know my fear of withdrawl makes this shit so much harder.

My dad thinks I should stay on the sub for a while longer, and he has a good point, it is better than me shooting dope. I just know Im still getting my fix and not at all recovering (just me talking about me, everyone is different and I believe many people do recover while on suboxone). Im starting to hate my addiction, hate this part of me, and its causing all sorts of mood swings and depression. Ive litterally cried twice this week on the drive home because the song on the radio, wtf? Yesterday was really traumatic for my family so I feel no shame needing the sub yesterday and today, but I seriously want to make a plan and stick with it. Im tired of this childish and selfish lifestyle, I want to man up.

Am I a fool? What do you guys think I should do? I could really use some wisdom!

Peace
-Jimmy
 
i'd say trust your gut - but its usually our guts that got us in this mess in the first place :) honestly tho - if it were me, i'd stick with the lowest dose possible, and take just enough to get by...no sense trading h for subs if you are set on living completely drug free...you can take the sub for a short-period without becoming dependent on it. if you've been on the sub 6 days, mb try skipping a day and see how you feel. with subs half-life, you should have at least a little built up in your system to carry you through the day.

as for comfort meds - why not try something natural? after all, if you're anything like me (and your post makes me think we may be kinda similar :) then you're really just looking for a crutch/comfort or placebo pill to calm yourself and give you some confidence? when you mess up your brain with opiates, your brain tries to compensate by over-producing noradrenaline (which causes WD symptoms). and you also develop a deficiency of endorphins (which is why exercising makes you feel so good right now). so why not try taking some L-Glutamine to reduce anxiety by enhancing your GABA, L-Tyrosine and DL-Phenylalanine (sp?) to boost your endorphins and reduce cravings and depression, L-Trytophan and 5HTP to help boost serotonin and promote healthy sleep. You can also pick up some sublingual melatonin (the sublingual tablets give a soothing placebo effect like subs :) and a good B vitamin complex, perhaps a liquid sublingual version even :)

there's no shame in getting your fix from vitamins, amino acids and exercise! don't hate this part of you - your brain is simply try to rebalance to gets its equilibrium back, which means its healing! be patient with yourself, don't beat yourself up...stay positive and focused on moving forward. be strong and and learn to walk without your crutches! you're no fool - rather you're like bambi on that ice for the first time, you just gotta get your legs and soon you'll be whizzing by! :)

to add a lil more pep to your step, why not try the crash course in AVRT? personally, i found it very helpful in taking accountability and "manning" up if you - even tho i'm just a girl! :)

www.rational.org/recover.html

just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and you'll eventually get there! <3 <3 <3
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top