He's back...Welder Meth Addict has contacted me after almost 1.5 months? Talk to me!

[Ineedanswers2015]

He's back...

Relationship with meth addict | Pulling away and ignoring me. Please help?

I received a text from my dear ol' welder meth addict friend last week wanting to "catch up" after 1.5 months?

Hmm...

Went to visit twice, and he was not high neither time. It was a nice visit.

LONG STORY SHORT > He got upset because:

1) I accused him of doing something (i.e. meth) when I have "NO PROOF."
(Of course not, he isn't going to leave it laying around in plain site!)

2) I went on a date with someone else shortly after that incident (just a friendly (no physical contact) date.

3) NOW, he wants to see me AGAIN? WTF? Yet, again, the disappearing act has begun.

Can someone please explain WHY this is happening and talk some sense back into me?

Will this become a pattern (only wanting to see me every few months)?
Should I just accept seeing him sober (once or twice every few months)?
Wonder if there is another chick in the mix, maybe?

To be honest, it seemed like he may have missed me?

WEIRD!

Please talk to me!

 

[zephyrhigh]

Sounds like the welder guy comes with a lot of ifs and possibilities for heartache.... is it worth it to you?
You did try other options .... so you're trying to enjoy your life it seems.... go the route where your heart is safest and happiest. Seems like he may have missed the joys he had with you and wants that back..... it's a decision that could cost u your happiness don't make it lightly....

 

[Ineedanswers2015]

zephyrhigh,
Thank you for your reply.
There is no doubt that this guy if full of ifs and heartache.

He isn't ready for a caring and romantic relationship. He isn't affectionate and is very selfish for the most part (right, what addict isn't)?

My heart and mind say run, because there is no expectation of a real relationship with him.

I do believe that he enjoyed hanging out with me. Or? Maybe no one else will? LOL Maybe I am the only option? LOL

Honestly, it isn't worth my happiness and sanity.

This man for whatever reason is NOT ready for a relationship (or at least not a honest full-time mutual relationship).
He takes me for granted and doesn't appreciate much of anything. I clearly see this.

For example, we went out the other day, and I had on a nice summer dress. He never said one word to me about my appearance. We go into a restaurant, and I had 1-2 guys tell me that they liked my dress and that I looked nice.
Don't get me wrong, I know men do this as a pick up line, but it would have been nice to hear my date say it?

He is not affectionate and probably never will be. Sex is sex to him - there is no love or intimacy.

Trust me, I take care of myself by finishing school, exercising, and going out with friends. He knows that I am as well, and he probably knows that it is only a matter of time until someone else will try to get my attention.

Maybe he is just milking it while I'm there?

I know this guy will never give me the relationship and attention that I want.
He just can't, and it is getting worse (he never compliments me anymore nor does he initiate sex) YET he continues to want me around?

I have to wake up, and I have a feeling that I will be moving away shortly and maybe that is what I need.

 

[T. Calderone]

Honestly, I don't see things getting any better since you two took a break. I guess it would be different if he had said that he wanted things between you to get serious now. But he didn't and he's made himself pretty clear about that. I think the more time you spend with him, the more attached you're going to get. You may never get the answers out of him but what you can do is tell him how you really feel. He needs to hear it so you can try to put an end to this frustration and move forward.

 

[Ineedanswers2015]

T. Calderone,
I agree.
No, he is still saying that he doesn't want anything serious (BUT he has thought about it more lately than the past 4 years).
He just isn't an affection man - in a romantic relationship kind of way.
It isn't any better - if anything it is worse, and he takes me for granted even more.

Thank you for your reply.

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

Why did you have contact with him, and then go visit him? You posted how you were basically cutting off all communication with him, so you should do that.

You yourself and lots of other people have said how this guy that is a meth addict just wants sex from you, and that he's someone who you shouldn't have any contact with let alone date, or attempt at having a friendship, or relationship with.