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Herpes

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jasonmccarthy5

Ex-Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 9, 2012
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:I was diagnosed with genital herpes 3 years ago. The first year he had flare ups and some genital warts.The last 2 years I haven'tt seen one flare up or an itch, methinks without the doctor doing a simple blood test, which he didn't do according to me....that it coulda easily been jock itch. He did take Acyclovir and it did help with eliminating the warts, what do you think I should? It's kinda ruined my desire to even find a girl...doesn't want to feel guilty for having someone fall in love with a disease.

I just doesn't know what to do. The herpes is eating me up inside.
 
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Ok I might as well say this... I have herpes. Sorry you have to go through this too. I only ever had one breakout (so far). But, herpes and warts aren't linked, they're seperate viruses aren't they?

"doesn't want to feel guilty for having someone fall in love with a disease."

This makes me sad, you are not a disease. You're a person. Herpes isn't awful, it's a mild annoyance, not dangerous. I think the social stigma and shame attached is way worse than the effects of the disease. Herpes is the same thing that causes cold sores. But people who've ever had a cold sore don't tell everyone they kiss 'I'm a cold sore carrier'. Probably they should? I accidentally passed my herpes on, before I knew I had it, before there were any symptoms, so I couldn't possibly have known, but I still feel really awful about giving this 'gift' to a good friend. So yes, be honest with partners, because that's a burden you don't want. On the other hand, 20% of the population have the virus, and I've found people to be pretty understanding once you explain the facts to them.
Also my herpes buddy has been an inspiration in not feeling ashamed, he tells people openly about it (hell, there were even plans for an 'I <3 Herpes' t-shirt at one point). And well, his honestly hasn't stopped him getting laid. A lot.

I know it's hard, I'm still working on not hating myself, but it is possible. Don't let it eat you away inside, you're a human being, not defined by a mild viral skin condition!
Sorry that was kind of long, but it was actually pretty liberating to say that.
 
^its gonna be fun in about a year when you gotta explain this to your actual boyfriend when he comes back on the scene ;-)
 
er, i have herpes too. i'm still working on the whole telling people before i have sex with them thing, and i'm honestly seriously disgusted with myself that i've had sex with two people before telling them about it,and told them about it afterward, obviously with no signs of flare ups or anything, but that's not the point. what is important, take it from me dear friend, is that you tell the person BEFORE you get to bed. there is absolutely no respect in having to tell somebody after the fact, it's not fair to them. like the last guy said, "honestly, had you told me beforehand i wouldn't have slept with you. but i still would have dated you and if i had fallen for you, i would have slept with you and it would have been my choice. since you didn't tell me, it's not my choice." :| he actually did like me, and i liked him. he also didn't take it very well that i told him through text, the whole thing was obviously a mess. so yeah, shit tears you up inside. just be honest about it, don't be like me.
 
I'm not sure who what to do.

I had a discussion with this girl Jamey about the herpes last night...she said she would never fuck a guy with herpes.
 
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Mate, I'm going to move this over to Sex Love and Relationships as it's moved away from Healthy questions to more support and / or relationship advice. :)
 
porcupina said:
Ok I might as well say this... I have herpes. Sorry you have to go through this too. I only ever had one breakout (so far). But, herpes and warts aren't linked, they're seperate viruses aren't they?

"doesn't want to feel guilty for having someone fall in love with a disease."

This makes me sad, you are not a disease. You're a person. Herpes isn't awful, it's a mild annoyance, not dangerous. I think the social stigma and shame attached is way worse than the effects of the disease. Herpes is the same thing that causes cold sores. But people who've ever had a cold sore don't tell everyone they kiss 'I'm a cold sore carrier'. Probably they should? I accidentally passed my herpes on, before I knew I had it, before there were any symptoms, so I couldn't possibly have known, but I still feel really awful about giving this 'gift' to a good friend. So yes, be honest with partners, because that's a burden you don't want. On the other hand, 20% of the population have the virus, and I've found people to be pretty understanding once you explain the facts to them.
Also my herpes buddy has been an inspiration in not feeling ashamed, he tells people openly about it (hell, there were even plans for an 'I <3 Herpes' t-shirt at one point). And well, his honestly hasn't stopped him getting laid. A lot.

I know it's hard, I'm still working on not hating myself, but it is possible. Don't let it eat you away inside, you're a human being, not defined by a mild viral skin condition!
Sorry that was kind of long, but it was actually pretty liberating to say that.
Click to expand...
I like the sounds of that dude - I wanna be just like him...maybe I willl get that TSHIRT! haaha...

actually it's a lot higher percentage than that...

OP - yeah man it's not so bad - I've played with dice here, but I generally find the burden goes away when you tell them... I still do the no telling thing sometimes, but I guess I will just havve to work that kink out over time.

It's a minor annoyance - and if you did give it to a girl, well they'd actually have it a lot less often than you would spot. Like we can always pass it on - there are various stages, all apparently contagious male-female, but female-male only when they're displaying, and a bit afterwaards during "shedding".

SMile, dude - you havven't got fucking HIV or syphilis!
 
Yes but it makes getting HIV more easily transmittable and if a women is pregnant with Herpes she has to have a C Section...what if b/c of your lack of morals (mine too) we gave some baby herpes in the EYE?
 
You see my moral dilema? but in the end doesn't the penile unit always win in a chess match against morality?
 
It's like under-the-pants acne is all...

... all right well, maybe it's a little more serious than that, but hell, I know some adults who still have acne on their faces and who might even prefer herpes to the boiling, blotchy, festering, cystic acne they have all over their faces.
 
stop fucking around with different chicks, be loyal to one. This will better protect u from catching other diseases.
 
It just worries me b/c of the possibility of passing it on to a baby...I'm okay with passing it on to a girl, not sure why.
 
I just want to pretend like I don't have it. Maybe if I believe I don't than it truly will dissapear.
 
you said you dont want anyone to fall in love w/ a disease :( that breaks my heart, so sad. Its been three years since you've been diagnosed, been a long time it seems like. its time to accept ur condition and learn to move on. Be thankful u dont have HIV or any fatal diseases, u can still live a perfectly normal life have kids etc. Just bc u have an std doesnt make you unloveable. Be upfront w any girls you meet (moral obligation as a human being) and one day you will meet someone who loves you and doesnt care if u have herpes. Maybe there are things, like condoms or medicines u can take to make it less transmittable??

1 in 5 people have herpes (thank u health class stats) its more common than u may think. BUT it certainly doesnt mean ur unloveable! Thats just too sad of a thought, whats the point of life without love?
 
There are so many people that have herpes. Don't be ashamed. It's just one of those things. You can still have sex and not pass it on. Use condoms and such. It's harder to catch it when you don't have an active out break. My friends boyfriend has herpes and hasn't passed it to her. They have been together for 5 years. It's so common now a days dr are like ok here's some meds and your out the door.

When you start dating some one get to know them maybe they have secrets to hide to. But before yall mess around let her know. She will respect you for that.
Also be informed about it. Do your research.

When I first started dating my husband I went to the (bleeding during sex) and er for salmonella poisoning. I got a message at 4:50pm on Friday from the health department and it was something like this " I am calling you to see if your disease is spreading. Please call back." needless to say my heart dropped into my feet. That was the longest weekend ever. It was about my salamanella poisoning.

My husband, boyfriend at the time, said "what ever it is we will get through it together."
We were only dating for a couple of weeks.

People are understanding. Be honest.

Best of luck to you.
 
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