BackSeatSuicide
Bluelighter
I was wondering if someone could tell me, or link me to somewhere that could show/tell me how to figure out, what the Heroin to Morphine conversion is. Meaning, for example, what .2 grams of your Average Black Tar Heroin equals in Milligrams of Morphine. I hope I making sense, couldn't quite figure out how to word what I was trying to get at lol I just basically wanna know the dosing for Heroin compared to Morphine is. Mostly because I am getting ready to go to a detox program in a week or two (Whenever a Bed opens up) followed by 28day Inpatient program, and then followed by the Intensive Out-Patient program (IOP is what we call it around here in Seattle, WA, not sure if it's the same everywhere) and yes there is a difference between your run of the mill, out-patient program, and the IOP programs that we have up here. ANYWAYS, the reason why that matters is because the Detox place I am going to, they want you to be at a dosage of 40mg or less, at the most 60mg, but they prefer 40mg or less, and you have to be at that dosage level for at least 5days. The meds they give you, are meant to treat withdrawals symptoms from that size dosage, and they said that if you are on a higher dosage level then that, like 100mg a day for example, that the meds they provide will not help relieve the withdrawals very well. And I kno this to be true, cause the first time I went into Detox, I was on over 80mg a day, and when i went in, I lied and said 40mg, and the meds they gave me didn't really do much, I was still miserable as hell, and so ended up leaving, and then the 2nd time I went, I got myself down to about 50mg of Morphine Sulfate a day for the last 7days before i went in, and that time, the meds friggin worked perfect, barely felt my withdrawals, just felt really hazy, and slept most of the time, except for smoke breaks and meals. So since I only have H right now, I wanna kno what amount per would be the equivalent of no more then 40-60mg of Morphine.
This time I am making it work. I have no choice, I have too much going for me, to fail this time and I failed every other time, which I am not accustom to failure, but last time,all because I thought i was smarter then every other addict (which I am not lol) I figured that if I just made it through detox, and wasn't going through withdrawals anymore, then I could quit no problem, that i wasn't an addict, I just got sucked in a lil too much, and could fix it all on my own, so I never went to Inpatient or anything (Tho I've been to outpaitent a couple times in the past, but that was before i was on opiates, and before I was 18, my parents got my probation officer to make the judge court order it just cause I was smoking a lot of weed lol) but I was wrong, i made it a couple months, and then I was back on, and then I went again, and this time i made it about 4months, and then i was back on, except this time, I did the one thing I promised myself I would never ever ever ever do, and that stick a Needle in my arm. I figured I would end up trying Heroin at least once in my life, but I always told myself that if i ever did, I would only try smoking it, never with a needle. And close to two months ago now, I broke that promise and stuck a fuckin needle in my arm, and it just went downhill from there. And then my mom found my needles and of coursed freaked out, started crying, I've never seen her so hurt, especially never because of me. My biological father died from shooting up Cocaine and Heroin, and she had left him when i was only 2 cause he wouldn't quit, and then he died a few years later when i was 6, and so my mom hates that shit, and not only did I break my own promise to myself, but I broke my moms heart. She litterally got sick to her stomach when she found my needles and spoon, etc etc, and I have never felt so low, so ashamed, so wrong in my entire life, and then was about 3 weeks ago, and so I've been attempting to get into inpatient ever since, cause I now can admit that I am a fuckin addict, and obviously, now would be a good time to get help, before I go farther down the rabbit hole, luckily I realized that before I stuck too many needles in my arm. And in order to go to inpatient, you have to be over withdrawals, and all that stuff, so I have to go to detox first. So anyways, just thought I would sahre that story along with asking my question. I am really nervous about doing this, cause I hate being away from home for so long, and I am not a big fan of the NA, AA type, Anti-Drug people. Cause even tho I can now admit I am an addict, that doesn't mean I dont still believe that recreational drug use is ok, if you can control it. Especially when it comes to weed, thats one thing I will prolly never fully quit, tho I am gonna quit for awhile while I go through this treatment, and I've never been a big drinker, just a social drinker, only like to get drunk once in awhile, so thats never been a problem. But yea, mostly I just hate being away from my own bed and home, and family/friends, etc etc, my comfort zone. I had just moved back in with my parents a few months ago, cause the GF and I broke up and our lease was about to be up anyways, and I just started college and needed to save money. Which luckily, my boss is cool enough to give me two months off and save my job for me why i do this, and school, first quarted just ended not too long ago, so it was perfect timing, so I can start right back up where i left off. without being in the middle of a quarter or something. I have lived on my own since i was 17 (I am 25 now) so being back home was wierd at first, but I was starting to get used to it again, and even tho I can't wait to get back out on my own, it is kinda nice being around the family a lot more again. So yea, thats my story, like I said, just wanted to share, hoped maybe it would inspire someone else to make the same choice. Someone who feels the same way I do, and is having a hard tiem making the decision to quit and get help. Like I said, I have way too much going for me to mess my life up and end up a junkie like my dad. I am getting my Degree in Audio Engineering and Music Theory. I have amazing family and friends. Got a great band going, which we just release our first EP and recently won a battle of the bands, which gives us free studio time to record a Full Length Album, and we get to be part of the "Project Independent Tour" this spring, which is a tour inf 10 states, 13 shows, all unsigned, independent bands like us, and its a huge oppurtunity, that I dont wanna fuck up. So I am going to make it treatment work this time, before its too late, and I am a has been, before i even was a Someone.
So wish me luck everyone, and thanks in advance to whoever helps me with my question.
This time I am making it work. I have no choice, I have too much going for me, to fail this time and I failed every other time, which I am not accustom to failure, but last time,all because I thought i was smarter then every other addict (which I am not lol) I figured that if I just made it through detox, and wasn't going through withdrawals anymore, then I could quit no problem, that i wasn't an addict, I just got sucked in a lil too much, and could fix it all on my own, so I never went to Inpatient or anything (Tho I've been to outpaitent a couple times in the past, but that was before i was on opiates, and before I was 18, my parents got my probation officer to make the judge court order it just cause I was smoking a lot of weed lol) but I was wrong, i made it a couple months, and then I was back on, and then I went again, and this time i made it about 4months, and then i was back on, except this time, I did the one thing I promised myself I would never ever ever ever do, and that stick a Needle in my arm. I figured I would end up trying Heroin at least once in my life, but I always told myself that if i ever did, I would only try smoking it, never with a needle. And close to two months ago now, I broke that promise and stuck a fuckin needle in my arm, and it just went downhill from there. And then my mom found my needles and of coursed freaked out, started crying, I've never seen her so hurt, especially never because of me. My biological father died from shooting up Cocaine and Heroin, and she had left him when i was only 2 cause he wouldn't quit, and then he died a few years later when i was 6, and so my mom hates that shit, and not only did I break my own promise to myself, but I broke my moms heart. She litterally got sick to her stomach when she found my needles and spoon, etc etc, and I have never felt so low, so ashamed, so wrong in my entire life, and then was about 3 weeks ago, and so I've been attempting to get into inpatient ever since, cause I now can admit that I am a fuckin addict, and obviously, now would be a good time to get help, before I go farther down the rabbit hole, luckily I realized that before I stuck too many needles in my arm. And in order to go to inpatient, you have to be over withdrawals, and all that stuff, so I have to go to detox first. So anyways, just thought I would sahre that story along with asking my question. I am really nervous about doing this, cause I hate being away from home for so long, and I am not a big fan of the NA, AA type, Anti-Drug people. Cause even tho I can now admit I am an addict, that doesn't mean I dont still believe that recreational drug use is ok, if you can control it. Especially when it comes to weed, thats one thing I will prolly never fully quit, tho I am gonna quit for awhile while I go through this treatment, and I've never been a big drinker, just a social drinker, only like to get drunk once in awhile, so thats never been a problem. But yea, mostly I just hate being away from my own bed and home, and family/friends, etc etc, my comfort zone. I had just moved back in with my parents a few months ago, cause the GF and I broke up and our lease was about to be up anyways, and I just started college and needed to save money. Which luckily, my boss is cool enough to give me two months off and save my job for me why i do this, and school, first quarted just ended not too long ago, so it was perfect timing, so I can start right back up where i left off. without being in the middle of a quarter or something. I have lived on my own since i was 17 (I am 25 now) so being back home was wierd at first, but I was starting to get used to it again, and even tho I can't wait to get back out on my own, it is kinda nice being around the family a lot more again. So yea, thats my story, like I said, just wanted to share, hoped maybe it would inspire someone else to make the same choice. Someone who feels the same way I do, and is having a hard tiem making the decision to quit and get help. Like I said, I have way too much going for me to mess my life up and end up a junkie like my dad. I am getting my Degree in Audio Engineering and Music Theory. I have amazing family and friends. Got a great band going, which we just release our first EP and recently won a battle of the bands, which gives us free studio time to record a Full Length Album, and we get to be part of the "Project Independent Tour" this spring, which is a tour inf 10 states, 13 shows, all unsigned, independent bands like us, and its a huge oppurtunity, that I dont wanna fuck up. So I am going to make it treatment work this time, before its too late, and I am a has been, before i even was a Someone.
So wish me luck everyone, and thanks in advance to whoever helps me with my question.
