endlessnameless
Bluelighter
I dont know how much of my current state of mind I can manage to mention at the moment what with it being muddled in the mires in misery, but in brief:
At the beginning of October I did a cold turkey withdrawal - and having reached a point now where most of the physical withdrawals are over (save being fucking freezing 24/7), I am deeply depressed. My habit was about .2 every second day, smoked...and I'm just wondering how long I can expect this misery to last for?
I began smoking heroin in 2009 as a means of self-medicating a relentless, major-depression that was ever present since the age of eleven. If I'm to be utterly honest (which I am to be), I never had any intention of stopping until the (arguably ongoing) drought of 2010 which drained dry the shores of Ireland, the UK and many of the western Europen countries faced me with a very abrupt an utterly unforseen enforced sabbatical. Into the throes of woe of I went; the most horrific and drawn out withdrawal I'd ever encountered. I'd have to look at my journals to see how long it lasted but as far as I can recall...I never really felt right at all. However, I didnt do much to improve my circumstances. I sat around and waited for the thoes of woe to go, but of course - no. I think that was my mistake...and what ultimately lead to my relapse.
A little shy of 18 months ago, the scene started to improve ever so slightly and slowly I began to use again - injecting occasionally when the product was too weak for smoking - and arrived back in addiction - however its nowhere near as bad as it was before the drought because the product is nowhere near the strength it was prior.
I want to get the fuck out of this misery as quickly as possible please. I'm currently unemployed and recieving benefits, so I'm going to use my time exercising - sculpting my physique to perfection...its the most instantanious gratitude I can think of apart from an artistic endevour - and of course a hard days work - but both aren't options right now.
I mean...I'm always hearing exericise works wonders for depression, and since its something I've never ventured I'm going to give it a go. Since I have the time, I was thinking 1-2hrs 3-4 days a week...even more if I can manage. This should help...right?
I need some feedback from someone who has conquered this post-acute withdrawal phase and how long it took them to overcome it. Thanks. And sorry for the drawn out post - its always been helpful for me to write; ever so slightly, but still...helpful.
At the beginning of October I did a cold turkey withdrawal - and having reached a point now where most of the physical withdrawals are over (save being fucking freezing 24/7), I am deeply depressed. My habit was about .2 every second day, smoked...and I'm just wondering how long I can expect this misery to last for?
I began smoking heroin in 2009 as a means of self-medicating a relentless, major-depression that was ever present since the age of eleven. If I'm to be utterly honest (which I am to be), I never had any intention of stopping until the (arguably ongoing) drought of 2010 which drained dry the shores of Ireland, the UK and many of the western Europen countries faced me with a very abrupt an utterly unforseen enforced sabbatical. Into the throes of woe of I went; the most horrific and drawn out withdrawal I'd ever encountered. I'd have to look at my journals to see how long it lasted but as far as I can recall...I never really felt right at all. However, I didnt do much to improve my circumstances. I sat around and waited for the thoes of woe to go, but of course - no. I think that was my mistake...and what ultimately lead to my relapse.
A little shy of 18 months ago, the scene started to improve ever so slightly and slowly I began to use again - injecting occasionally when the product was too weak for smoking - and arrived back in addiction - however its nowhere near as bad as it was before the drought because the product is nowhere near the strength it was prior.
I want to get the fuck out of this misery as quickly as possible please. I'm currently unemployed and recieving benefits, so I'm going to use my time exercising - sculpting my physique to perfection...its the most instantanious gratitude I can think of apart from an artistic endevour - and of course a hard days work - but both aren't options right now.
I mean...I'm always hearing exericise works wonders for depression, and since its something I've never ventured I'm going to give it a go. Since I have the time, I was thinking 1-2hrs 3-4 days a week...even more if I can manage. This should help...right?
I need some feedback from someone who has conquered this post-acute withdrawal phase and how long it took them to overcome it. Thanks. And sorry for the drawn out post - its always been helpful for me to write; ever so slightly, but still...helpful.
