Heroin ruining our relationship

[dishearten]

When I met my boyfriend he was a month out of rehab (opiates and some other drugs). Fast foward to January 2010, I come back to our college town from xmas break and he introduces me to shooting roxies and oxys. Now I had tried them before but snorting and smoking never got me feeling great, just nauseus and tired. but shooting them was amazing. we both started shooting pills everyday. 2 months later my bf found an old dope connect and we started doing heroin.
I feel like our relationship has changed because we have revolved around opiates for the past 6 months. I am worried that we can never go back to a pre-heroin time. my bf ended up borrowing about $3000 from me because I would have to pay for his stuff a lot too, and I couldn't say no because I wanted it too. we barely have sex and don't go out much at all, even though we are 21 and 19 and in a huge college town. heroin is the other man in our love triangle.
has anyone else been in a situation like this with a SO? are we doomed to fail? I'm a really shy and insecure girl and I love my boyfriend so much; I feel like most people are hard to talk to or think I'm different but my boyfriend is my one true friend and love. but I'm worried we will crash and burn if nothing changes.

honey, this isnt good. as you already know.
i have been in the same exact situation. i met my love in high school and he was a full blown coke head until he started shooting dope and i stood by and watched him wither away for years until he got help. once he did he was a changed person, went to his meetings, had a sponser, was on suboxone, and everything was great. the problem was that i focused too much on HIS addiction, and not mine. i was pretty much just on the back burner because he was much more important to me. then 3 years ago i gave up after a relapse and said well i cant handle this i might as well do the same, so that started my intense struggle with needles. i thought we were gods, our sex was great, we were always happy, very social... but then i was that much more empy.
see, he was my best friend too.. and the love of my life aswell, i couldnt loose him to dope, i couldnt break up with him.. that just couldnt happen i needed my xbox buddy, i needed the sex, the dope, the rush, the kiss right after..

5 years past, i wind up engaged to him and all my suppressed pain and trauma from my past kicked my ass into overdrive and all of a sudden i have a needle in my arm again, skipping classes when i had a 4.0 and the world at my fingertips. the beautiful 3 thousand dollar ring didnt mean shit because of how unhappy i was with MYSELF.
eventually, he thought i was cheating on him.. when i was really just cheating on myself with dope. once again.
and he left.
although i would have NEVER done that to him because thick and thin is very true to my heart, but that was what he wanted and i have excepted that.

i'm still not clean, i have needles all over my apartment. you can see the pain in my eyes when i speak, i will never breathe the same air as him. and its okay because i chose drugs over him, and he cant support me because its too much of a heavy weight. but little does he realize how devoted i was to when he was in my shoes.
i hold no grudges.
yet-- i wonder why was i so forgiving.
i wanted to get married, not him. he was just going through life i guess. otherwise he'd still be here by my side.
but like i said, its okay.. and belive it or not; you do learn to move on in alot of ways.

what you have to do is choose. will it be the drugs? or your person? it clearly cannot be both. and if you or he quit, does the other love you enough to stick by? thats something i didnt think of, i was young and thought he would go through the same pain just to stick by. but you have to make a choice. before it kills the both of you.

best of luck.