• Find All Reports by Search Term
    Find Reports
    Find Tagged Reports by Substance
    Substance Category
    Specific Substance
    Find Reports
  • Trip Reports Moderator: Cheshire_Kat

Heroin - Retrospective - bittersweet symphony

Great read, very well written with great descriptions.
I've never tried heroin, but I think we can all relate to being in sketchy
as fuck areas to score our candy (whatever it may be).

Thanks for the read, and the proper warning.
Congrats on being clean, and to anyone else overcoming addiction.

Peace,
Sega420
 
Nintey I know exactly what your talking about I see you are from Chicago too. Believe me our stories are almost exactly the same, but frankly, I know far too many people with stories like ours. Heroin is nothing but bad news, nothing good ever came out of it for anyone. One of my best friends overdosed and died last Thanksgiving, my friend's mom got hepatitis and died from sharing needles, I have witnessed about a dozen friends go nodding out of life as I dial 911 in overwhelming panic, it happened to me as well, I have several friends in county and state prison all still pretty much kids 18 and 19 years old. I know what its like driving through the chicago ghetto dopesick hunting for some blows paranoid about cops who prey on white boys just driving through the ghetto ruining their lives with felonies just because they want a little dope, pulling u over for no reason.
 
Chi-town represent! I am ex-resident of Daleyland myself (born and raised in the Old Town/northside area) and can definitely attest to the authenticity of your description of the dope game there. You do a stellar job of describing the REAL heroin experience. Not the effects of the drug mind you, which have been described over and over again in loving albeit overly romantic detail by the likes of Burrough's and Welsh (not to mention thousands of terrible imitators) but rather. You do a better job than anyone I can think of at illustrating that the junkie's life is as much about the hunt as it is the catch. The hustle is futile and thankless but for whatever reason alluring; it's a Sisyphean torment that you hate with a passion but cannot help being drawn to as much as the drug itself.
Basically, good job. You are come across as a bright kid and I hope you try and amount to something beyond another junkie. I mean no offense with that but you are obviously intelligent and it would be sad to see someone like you become just another one of the 40-something, hepatitis ravaged bums sleeping outside the methadone clinic at six in the morning. The dope game is all well and good (hell, it's my favorite game, just ahead of poker and fencing) but you clearly have the brains and wherewithal for more than that, don't fucking waste it.
 
Gladys n central.. yupp definitely my neck of the woods. Spent my last two years driving to those parts of town its amazing how easily you can get rocks n blows there, but whats even more amazing is places like pill hill where dozens of black people loiter around a mcdonalds parking lot sellin anything from xanax, suboxone, vicodin, adavan, ecstasy, just about any pill you can imagine. Man, you gotta love them Chi-town ghettos. Not even getting arrested and getting my new car seized stopped me, I began taking buses n trains out there, sitting around the ghetto waiting for my dealer in the harsh Chicago winters.. gotta love the heroin game, no doubt about that :\
 
Thanks god ur clean now!
I was actually wanting to try it once to see the high but I don't think so now, i don't know I knew that it is insanely addictive and alot of first time users get hooked but everyone ive ever talked to about heroin whos tried it says it is indescribable how you feel. As much as i wanna experience that amazing high i don't wanna become a junkie. Any substitutes to it or anything that is very similar to the feeling it gives off.

I had a friend that was addicted to speedballs for about a year or two which was horrible to watch him spiral downward ending up on the streets, now hes clean aswell to.
 
In the same scene. I could see all the corners and feel that weight in my gut that I really feel doing that shit.

Now that you're clean I hope you become an author...
 
This is really well written! Thanks for letting us get a glimpse into this world. I think letting people know what its really like is a great service. I find myself in a strange situation because I have been having reoccurring dreams about doing heroin lately even though I've never done it. It's really freaking me out. I have been tripping about once a week for years now, and I am finally starting to trip less and re enter reality although I can feel my mind crave something to help me un-see some of the things I've seen. Although I've seen too many friends end up in places just like yours and I just can't bare to do that to myself let alone the people who love me. Your story really reinforces this perspective. thanks! I think I'll stick to kratom if I do any opiates at all.
 
ninety.. im just wondering. Did you just go from smoking pot to then eventually using h?
Like, I'm just curious if you did psychedelics ever? Like lsd or dmt? Or dissociatives like ketamine/ nitrous/ dxm?
 
yeah it was a gradual process from weed to dxm to mushrooms to pills to acid to oxy to h. took a while thought it wasnt overnight
 
see..you gotta have the heroin use by the balls otherwise you won't hang. You gotta control it, you can't let it control you. easier said than done.
 
These are sooo morbidly great to read as they to some extent at the least remind us users in love with h of our own daily experience. Particularly you seem to eloquently elucidate my experience. 7 days involuntary detox I wait for my drug test tomorrow. I question whether I'll be able to make myself wait till I've left the hospital to delve into the .6 I have saved from my best late batch .... Though Ive only ivd couple times your recounts make me realize that the love is why u can't stave off doing it iv daily forever. It'll happen eventually. Who knows where my bottom is. Pretty far down I'd guess. Reading about h is the only thing keeping me from doing it now. Hell I have over 300 morphine sitting here... It's masochistic but I think that masochism goes hand in Hand with the lifestyle
 
Hey nintey, I'm a long time lurker, but your story drove me to post on BL for the first time. Just had to say that I loved reading your writing. You have an excellent way with words, and while not a typical "trip report", I think this was one of my favorites... if only for its honesty, and the way it captured the human side of a chemical trip. Very well done. And even MORE well done for kicking it as long as you have. Good on you... keep it up :)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top