Heroin/Opioid MEGA-Thread: Junkies check-in here!

[mr light]

19 days clean from a ~2 year rough habit (about 6 years of using 95% of the time) mostly heroin.

How do I feel? Well it depends what time of day it is. Now, pretty good but lonely. I'm getting urges to use, but also new urges to connect with people like friends and new girls... just lost my girl of 2 years, for good reason, but it still hurts.

My timeline went something like this. took 2mg of suboxone about 30 hrs after using my last 8 bags. i was feeling wd. sub barely touched it mentally but physically. day 4 was worst probably. the first week was pretty much shit, with me crying at night (odd first time, not my first time detoxing) yes very sad. at 10-14 days getting frustrated cause not much is changing, sometimes feels like i was going backwards.

after that there were some moments where i felt decent, but always after feeling down a while. ups and downs. body trying to balance i can feel it. right now doing quite well but ill probably feel like shit in the morning, when I start my first E.M.T. shift lol. that excitement will hopefully mean something to me. i'm trained and ready to go save lives, whether i'm depressed or not.

 

[jaroben]

Not at the moment, no. I'd have to pull of a massive relapse to convince anyone to allow it, but that would just backfire and I'd be worse off.

getting off suboxone is definitely something to be proud of, though. i still haven't been able to do it. it depends on the habit, but still.

 

[xxkcxx]

My parents told me I needed to make new friends, and why not try to talk to some of the people at the outpatient rehab I'm in?

Of course the girl I start talking to I find out is not really clean, but BSing like I was.

I'm gonna start using her connect and she's gonna teach me how to shoot myself up tomorrow.

This was a great idea.

 

[ratgirl69]

i have to say that although i have euphoric recall sometimes of my past drug use (H) and even of going to the methadone clinic (???) that i am so glad that i am clean of H these day and these last 7 years. sometimes weather is a real trigger for me. when it is gray and overcast it makes me want to shoot dope. and for some stupid reason i miss the people at the methadone clinic... although when i went there i hated it and them... go figure
but i find myself brooding about the past and wondering how all my old junkie friends are and what they are doing...
i can't believe all the time i wasted - time by goes soooo fast when you are getting high every day. what really blows my mind is running into old junkie friends who are still getting high to this day... i can't imagine that i would have lasted that long...
whatever
djh

 

[Carl Landrover]

My parents told me I needed to make new friends, and why not try to talk to some of the people at the outpatient rehab I'm in?

Of course the girl I start talking to I find out is not really clean, but BSing like I was.

I'm gonna start using her connect and she's gonna teach me how to shoot myself up tomorrow.

This was a great idea.

Ah becareful KC!!!! I've never tried shooting it (though thought about it often), but everyone who has done it says it just takes the addiction to a whole new level. If you're struggling now, do you really want to make it that much worse?

The reason you listed there, is exactly why I've tried to avoid any inpatient/outpatient groups or NA meetings. I just know I'd be looking for a connect or the guy that was in the midst of a relapse/about to relapse. I did go to an IOP (intensive out-patient) for a while, but it was a small group (4-10 people) and they were mainly alcoholics, so it was easy to avoid searching for a connect.

Hell, even now I'm in an alcohol class for a DUI last April and I know one guy used to do dope. I've been quite tempted to ask him about it, but I think he's been clean for a while.

 

[xxkcxx]

^ You know why it has come to this (like I always thought it would)?

Because I can't stop but my lungs are way to fucked up to keep snorting. I cannot deal with more sinus infections, bronchitis, pneumonia, asthma attacks, etc. I think that snorting is almost worse for me in both the long and short run.

Course, I may be eating my words soon enough.

 

[Carl Landrover]

^ You know why it has come to this (like I always thought it would)?

Because I can't stop but my lungs are way to fucked up to keep snorting. I cannot deal with more sinus infections, bronchitis, pneumonia, asthma attacks, etc. I think that snorting is almost worse for me in both the long and short run.

Course, I may be eating my words soon enough.

Yeah, I hear you on that one. It's awful not being able to breathe after snorting. I've still got the cough a bit, just a little bit of clear mucus coming up at this point, but at least I can breathe normally again and my nose is clearer.

Have you gone to your doctor for it at all...without mentioning that it's from dope? I got prescribed some meds for it and they work pretty good. The 400mg Avelox seem to work well.

That's one of the primary reasons I've wanted to try shooting, aside from the 'rush' I keep hearin' bout.



The sick part about me feeling better and having my lungs/sinuses clear up, is that now I think to myself, "Hey! You can get high again and you won't be coughing up shit for a week! SWEET!"

 

[xxkcxx]

Yeah, I hear you on that one. It's awful not being able to breathe after snorting. I've still got the cough a bit, just a little bit of clear mucus coming up at this point, but at least I can breathe normally again and my nose is clearer.

Have you gone to your doctor for it at all...without mentioning that it's from dope? I got prescribed some meds for it and they work pretty good. The 400mg Avelox seem to work well.

That's one of the primary reasons I've wanted to try shooting, aside from the 'rush' I keep hearin' bout.



The sick part about me feeling better and having my lungs/sinuses clear up, is that now I think to myself, "Hey! You can get high again and you won't be coughing up shit for a week! SWEET!"

Whenever I get past the point of no return with being sick and have to get some sort of prescription, I say that last part you wrote. I figure, if I am on meds, I can get high all I want because the meds will counteract everything bad I'm doing.

Are you on the Avelox short term or long term? After every binge I usually end up at a doctor and they prescribe me an antibiotic (usually Z-pack) and a steroid (usually prednison). I do have Advair, which is a cortosteroid inhaler, though I hardly use it. I know I should though cause it would probably help a lot. I have an albuterol one too.

 

[Carl Landrover]

Are you on the Avelox short term or long term? After every binge I usually end up at a doctor and they prescribe me an antibiotic (usually Z-pack) and a steroid (usually prednison). I do have Advair, which is a cortosteroid inhaler, though I hardly use it. I know I should though cause it would probably help a lot. I have an albuterol one too.

I'm on the Avelox for short term. I had 1 left over from the previous time I was prescribed it and then I got a 10 count last time from the doctor. I'm supposed to take it daily for 10 days, but I usually clear up enough in 3-5 days, so then i figure I can use again and be set.

I also have an albuterol inhaler, which I use, and I got prescribed a cortosteroid inhaler, which I'm guessing is Advair, but I'm not at home so I can't check. I never used that inhaler, it sounded annoying to use. You had to rinse your mouth out after every use or something?

I also got prednisone (sp?) too, but I don't really take that. I took it in the spring when I was originally prescribed these meds, but this time around I wasn't AS bad, so I figured I'd just use the avelox and albuterol inhaler.

 

[xxkcxx]

I'm on the Avelox for short term. I had 1 left over from the previous time I was prescribed it and then I got a 10 count last time from the doctor. I'm supposed to take it daily for 10 days, but I usually clear up enough in 3-5 days, so then i figure I can use again and be set.

I also have an albuterol inhaler, which I use, and I got prescribed a cortosteroid inhaler, which I'm guessing is Advair, but I'm not at home so I can't check. I never used that inhaler, it sounded annoying to use. You had to rinse your mouth out after every use or something?

I also got prednisone (sp?) too, but I don't really take that. I took it in the spring when I was originally prescribed these meds, but this time around I wasn't AS bad, so I figured I'd just use the avelox and albuterol inhaler.

Yeah, the washing out your mouth thing is one of the reasons I don't take it too. Sounds lazy, but really, it is annoying, and I don't think I REALLY have asthma. I think I have that one disease that basically means you breathed in shit you shouldn't have and your lungs got fucked up. I forget what it is called.

 

[jaroben]

you may think it's weird of me to suggest this, but perhaps try plugging. i used to think it's weird to stick drugs up my ass, but ended up content that it's just another way to get high.. a safe way at that. just a couple weeks ago, i actually threw away the last three spikes i had and plugged instead. i really don't want to go down that path again. with plugging, i really didn't have to use much more dope than i did when IVing. rush isn't as pronounced, but i'd say it's a good compromise. not saying you can't safely IV, but you know the dangers are higher.

 

[xxkcxx]

you may think it's weird of me to suggest this, but perhaps try plugging. i used to think it's weird to stick drugs up my ass, but ended up content that it's just another way to get high.. a safe way at that. just a couple weeks ago, i actually threw away the last three spikes i had and plugged instead. i really don't want to go down that path again. with plugging, i really didn't have to use much more dope than i did when IVing. rush isn't as pronounced, but i'd say it's a good compromise. not saying you can't safely IV, but you know the dangers are higher.

You know, I have thought about it just because so many people on this site do it/talk it up.

Idk if you want to post it here, but if not, could you maybe PM me and give me some tips or tricks of the trade?

I think there is a plugging thread, but maybe you have something to add?

 

[eon_blue]

My parents told me I needed to make new friends, and why not try to talk to some of the people at the outpatient rehab I'm in?

Of course the girl I start talking to I find out is not really clean, but BSing like I was.

I'm gonna start using her connect and she's gonna teach me how to shoot myself up tomorrow.

This was a great idea.

Oh man, I won't try to convince you otherwise because you seem like a smart person, you've just succumbed to more addictive behavior. It happens to everyone, it sure as hell happened to me. Addiction pays no mind to an addicts level of intellect or common sense, it turns the best and worst of us into equal fools.

On that note, I just want to beg of you to be careful. Once you pick up the needle, nothing with heroin is ever the same again, ever. That rush is the most beautiful and destructive thing in the world, and the only part of that equation that the addict in you is ever going to recognize is the beautiful part.

If there's any part of you still willing/strong enough to change your mind, for the love of all that's holy please embrace it and stick to smoking it if you have to use. If not, please practice safe injection technique: use new rigs, never share, filter properly and use some kind of topical ointment like neosporin to reduce chances of infection in the event of a missed shot as well as to help to eliminate scarring. Use sterile cottons, sterile water, and rubbing alcohol to disinfect.

Take care of yourself

 

[xxkcxx]

So, I finally had her do it yesterday.

Felt good, man. It's a lot harder the next day though. I usually don't feel all that sick, but before I redosed I was throwing up and stuff.

I couldn't bring myself to shoot myself up this morning though so I just continued to rail. I get too nervous about missing the vein and stuff, and I'm kinda vein-phobic as it is.

 

[Pengwin]

im feeling good about my usage as of lately its really starting to space itself out. Im down to once a week maybe twice. It's been a slow process from everyday multiple times a day to now but i'm way better off than i started. My biggest problem is to much time with nothing to do, i need to start one of these hobbies i keep telling myself im going to pick up and never do. Hopefully getting this job and working will help fill that time but I know once i start getting paychecks i'll be tempted to go back.

i got another big reason to stop today when i went and copped after my interview for my 2nd job (got that bitch to!). This dude ran up to my car and asked me why i didn't call him and i was like what i dont even know you man i dont have your number. Then he started freaking out saying you dont know me? man im fucking blah blah? i hooked you and your boy up the other night when i met you out in them projects. (i only go to this one place to cop dope and thats where i was at the moment). So i tell him that im not whoever and i only buy from people here and i dunno but im not whoever he thinks i am. Then he gets real hostile and tells me i owe him money from that night and if show up there again without it he'll shoot my car up. fucking crazy and i still managed to cop some dope

i need to stop. i want to find pleasure doing other things. but i also feel that im not ready to say no more opiates ever i'm still gonna wanna do them every now and then i just gotta learn to control myself better

 

[Jesteri]

Im in big trouble this time, it can take few weeks to few months until i get a spot from the drug threatment center. Now im on some "hc" oxycontin cure, doing atleast 2x80mg oc;s/day, usually 3x80mg. Yesterday i had only 60mg;s left and i was sick already at evening. Thank god i succeeded to sell some carbage to one dude(old skis, ice-skates etc) and got buprenorphine as a payment. Getting 100 panacod tablets on monday, dont know how i can survive this weekend with no money and all drugs i have are already in my head...

 

[McFly]

I feel for you man. I hate, hate, hate that feeling when you have run out of OC or dope and know you cant get any for whatever reason, the creepy crawling feeling of impending dopesickness, when you feel your skin start to prickle and the sweats begin is like waiting for the reaper man.

 

[Carl Landrover]

This quitting shit is fucking hard.

I totally underestimated it.

I want to use when I'm clean and I want to be clean when I'm using. It's fuckin' terrible.

 

[xxkcxx]

^ I knooww.

Yesterday I had a bag left and totally didn't feel like getting high. I did it anyway.

Today, without dope, I was calling everyone I could think of to get a hookup. I was scraping pens for residue.

 

[belfort]

why dont you guys go on subuxone or methadone??methadone does get a bad rep by many but it has also saved a good amount of folks as well..