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Heroin/Opioid MEGA-Thread: Junkies check-in here!

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ive been on and off heroin since around 97 going back and fourth between methadone, h, and jail i got of methadone thinking i would never go get high again, damn the bad luck
 
hi, im the witch doctor, and if its an opiate ill fuck it, eat it ,snort it, or smoke it. covered with tats and scared of the needle, though. big damn sissy i am. really gettin tons of knowledge here, and its all been good, too. now lets get back to gettin ripped.....
 
I have had no drugs (except weed) since saturday night. Today is New years eve and there is a big party planned at my buddies house. There will be Heroin, Oxycontin as well as Morphine there waiting for me.
And I cant sleep. Cant stop thinking about it. All I can think about is the sting of the point followed by the flash of crimson letting me know I am in. Then the rush of euphoria.....Even the smell of the alcohol prep is assurance of the comfort zone that is soon to come.
But alas, it is only 4:25 am, long way to go yet.
I will roll a joint and try to relax and wait for my phone to ring.:D
 
Could be worse man. I took a 15 hour bus ride back to Las Vegas last monday for christmas, and my dealer said she would have both roxi 30's and opanas... and then she never picked up her fucking phone all week and I had to ride the bus another 15 hours back here to Los Osos, CA where I don't know a god damn soul without getting a single dose. ;) Not to mention I just talked to my girl friend today... (she's in Las Vegas) and she got a hold of the dealer today and picked up. Fucking shit man....

:P
 
My best friends friend died yesterday from an overdose of heroin. He is very upset and was going to meetings to clean up with him and now this . what can i do to help this person.
 
Jeez that's harsh Blimp :( Really sorry...
All you can do is be there for him. Making sure he's not alone with too much time to think and dwell on things. There really isn't much else that can be done, he's gunna have to go through the grief process. But having a good friend there with him will be priceless.

On a personal note, I've spent £180 on dope this past couple of weeks. Tolerance is being pushed up massively...
This bag I'm getting in the next few minutes is going to be the one that I try cut down my use with. Though we all know how hard it is not to just smoke n smoke n smoke (or whatever ROA you go for) until it's gone...
I have some DHC 30mgs for withdrawal and whatever OTC Codeine I can get my hands on, so it won't be that uncomfortable at all.
Though as soon as money's in, I'll prolly go score again.
 
Well yeah I'm a K Head now. Was hooked on H long time ago managed to break free. I myself have had an overdose,Christmas Eve 05. Ambulance, N arcane the works woke on the way to the hospital. Should have died but didn't. Now I just sniff K. Totally different. No needles and no worries for the most part. I just try to get my junkie friends to come to the K side and live. I find I'm much more social now.
 
Happy New Year my fellow junkies and former junkies.

Hopefully the New Year will be better for all of us :)
 
i8hooked said:
All I can think about is the sting of the point followed by the flash of crimson letting me know I am in. Then the rush of euphoria.....Even the smell of the alcohol prep is assurance of the comfort zone that is soon to come.
.:D
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oh man..... i think i just creamed my undies
that first spurt of blood in the fit....... erotic as hell <3
 
I just got my two blows.

Even though I'm not going to do them tonight (probably as doing it this late seems a waste to me since I could go to bed soon if I wanted to), I feel relieved that I *could*. Even when I know I am not going to do them, I get anxious at the thought that I might not have them by the time I need them. Especially since I am relying on others now.

So, yay me...I can't wait to bust em open.
 
scored some raw a few days ago. best dope i've ever had. i just couldn't pass it up.
 
I can't believe how powerful drug cravings are with opiates. When I started using for pain, I just used all the time because I figured I could deal with the withdrawals. Then when it was becoming a problem, I put quitting off for months. When I stopped getting high and ordered a bad batch of pods (my drug of choice) I finally decided to quit.

Since then it's been a rollercoaster of ups and downs. I usually use about 3 - 4 days out of the week, the rest of the days are spent withdrawing just so that I can continue to get high. I can get past the physical withdrawals, but I just don't feel right afterwards. I have anxiety and won't leave the house, I'm a total dick to my mom because I'm so miserable. And always in the back of my mind I know that it will all be fine when the pods come in the mail. Or when I choose to let myself use again.

I wish that before I decided to try opiates I could've tried out what life is like with chronically low endorphin levels for a few days. The insomnia, the freezing cold inside, the goosebumps all the time, the lack of motivation. The increased sensitivity to pain... and that just seems to be the PAWs for me.

I wonder how long of a break would actually be required for me to feel normal again? *sigh* The worst part is we do it to ourselves. We recognize (or at least I do) what we're doing and know what we should do to stop but can't seem to ever avoid temptation.
 
I think I've had about 6 or 7 'final days' in the last few weeks. Tomorrow...yeah tomorrow. :\


Guess my goal of not doing anything in 2009 is already over. Oh well, maybe I can still stop early on in the year.


I'm weak as fuck :(
 
Carl Landrover said:
I think I've had about 6 or 7 'final days' in the last few weeks. Tomorrow...yeah tomorrow. :\


Guess my goal of not doing anything in 2009 is already over. Oh well, maybe I can still stop early on in the year.


I'm weak as fuck :(
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I had the same goal, but I was owed two by a friend and couldn't get them until yesterday. Obviously I wasn't going to say "forget it" or "give me the money instead" because well, just obviously 8) :|
 
Got clean for a good several month stretch. Was too busy really to be bothered with cravings. That's the best solution I've found - surround yourself with as many positive and active influences as possible and dive head first into school, work, hobbies, relationships or whatever. I was going strong until last week...

Coming home for the holidays meant seeing a few people with whom it was all too easy to fall back into old habits. Right now I'm at that crossroads - it's readily available and I'm bored which is never good. And I know where this road leads, I just don't care that much. Then again there's all those people I've hurt and all those I will inevitably hurt if I pick up where I left off. We'll see what happens.

Keep on keeping on all you kindred spirits.
 
^ see, I think staying busy is helpful to just not use, but it leads to the drug equivalent of a dry drunk IMO.

You don't really learn how to function in normal society when you DON'T have anything to do, and since boredom is a huge trigger for me, that's an issue.

I mean, you can't stay busy FOREVER!
 
xxkcxx said:
^ see, I think staying busy is helpful to just not use, but it leads to the drug equivalent of a dry drunk IMO.

You don't really learn how to function in normal society when you DON'T have anything to do, and since boredom is a huge trigger for me, that's an issue.

I mean, you can't stay busy FOREVER!
Click to expand...

That's a good point. You have to be comfortable by youself when you got time and money on your hands, and not much to do. I'd like that to be my problem right now. :| :(


I'm full of self-loathing lately. I don't deserve to have such a wonderful girlfriend and I feel like she's going to break up with me soon. I need to get clean and back to my old self. I can't lose her. :(

It's so hard to look her in the eyes or be as sexual if I'm starting to feel ashamed and depressed (while on dope). I feel like I don't deserve to touch someone so wonderful. I feel like a dirty junky scumbag. I feel like I'm boring and hopeless. I feel like she's always putting up with my shit. I'm such a fucking loser.
 
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