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Heroin/Opioid MEGA-Thread: Junkies check-in here!
- Thread starter chicpoena
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drug_wench
Bluelight Crew
not plain bupe but suboxone yes, several times - and thats wat im detoxing with again this time
drug_wench
Bluelight Crew
thanks TG - gd luck with ur sub treatment if thats wat ur choosing to do
in my past experience it has bn a relatively pain-free method of getting clean
in my past experience it has bn a relatively pain-free method of getting clean
SKL
Bluelight Crew
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Carl Landrover said:
This used to be me to a T. Exactly. I, of course, pushed over into the addicted side ... not saying you will, but just saying. It's an interesting balancing act, isn't it? One can feel a sense of balance as in you're not totally "addicted" and yet you do get to feel what it's like (gee! cool!
) to withdraw and to crave, and so on, and the whole cycle itself can become somethingh you're addicted to even if you're not totally "addicted" to the drugs themselves throughout the whole cycle...
panic in paradise
Bluelighter
yes, the needle has a hook of its own.
SKL
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oh, that too.
I've been avoiding the needle, though. Just got sick of having sketchy track marks all over my arms, well, more so sick of the stigma of the same and it's impact on my self-image and self-esteem and the need to hide it at work, etc, etc. Snorting it, which I always pooh-pooed, gets you plenty high, but of course the rush is missing, as is the thrill of the cooking/tying off/registering/injecting cycle ... but I feel a little better about myself for it. It's funny. Back in the days I was full of self loathing and feeling like a dirty junkie seemed appropriate and maybe the needles were even a sort of self-punishment trip. But now, as I have better self esteem and shit, I don't feel like I want/need them so much. But on the third hand(!), I'm still doing dopoe, and posting post after post of inane rationalizations on bluelight
I've been avoiding the needle, though. Just got sick of having sketchy track marks all over my arms, well, more so sick of the stigma of the same and it's impact on my self-image and self-esteem and the need to hide it at work, etc, etc. Snorting it, which I always pooh-pooed, gets you plenty high, but of course the rush is missing, as is the thrill of the cooking/tying off/registering/injecting cycle ... but I feel a little better about myself for it. It's funny. Back in the days I was full of self loathing and feeling like a dirty junkie seemed appropriate and maybe the needles were even a sort of self-punishment trip. But now, as I have better self esteem and shit, I don't feel like I want/need them so much. But on the third hand(!), I'm still doing dopoe, and posting post after post of inane rationalizations on bluelight
panic in paradise
Bluelighter
ive never seen powder, and i would like to.
freakin tar can turn into a wasteful mess.
i havent had any in about 7 months.
freakin tar can turn into a wasteful mess.
i havent had any in about 7 months.
Dxmmonster
Bluelighter
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The dope was white with a tinge of yellow to it. Lot's of small rocks too but mostly powder.
He didnt say much, just "it's real good shit", so I dunno, they all say stuff like that no matter what they'r selling.
you could call it 'fine china' since I live in China. lol but I have no idea what names they use for this powder.
anyways, yesterday was possibly the most euphoric and feel good day of my life. And boy did I get some good sleep last night!
so far the Heroin experience has been very positive for me. luckily it's too expensive for me to get into a habbit.
the motormouth was quite unusual. I was talking like I was on lots of ritalin, but I was also feeling GREAT all around, I could nod but the sedation wasnt that strong and I just felt like I had soo much to talk about.
I think it's becuz the first time I took a bit too much, most of the time I was just immobilized, and whenver i got up i felt nauseous. this time I took maybe half or even less of what I took last time, got higher than last time and didnt feel any nausea.
Maybe it's just my body getting use to the H. as most addicts would say, heroin get's better over time.
xxkcxx
Bluelighter
I'm the opposite...I've never seen tar.
Snorting really messes up my nose and sinuses and occassionally my lungs. I'd like to try shooting it.
I've never been able to do it on my own. The one time I tried I only had 3 bags and I wasted half of them trying to cook and said screw this.
SKL
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I've never seen tar either and I would be petrified of putting it into my body from the look of it in pictures & descriptions I've seen & read. But smoking it does sound like it would be nice. I can't say that I'd ever want to go near it with a needle. But if I were strung out and it was all that was available, let's all be honest here ...
Carl Landrover
Bluelighter
This used to be me to a T. Exactly. I, of course, pushed over into the addicted side ... not saying you will, but just saying. It's an interesting balancing act, isn't it? One can feel a sense of balance as in you're not totally "addicted" and yet you do get to feel what it's like (gee! cool!
That's a great description of it. The whole cycle is actually kind of addicting, the ups and downs, excitement and torture of it all.
I'm definitely heading towards being totally addicted again. The time cycle has been so I never get out of WD, and the days off have gone from 3/4 ->1.5, every so often. Have been on since Saturday (it's Monday) and before that it was a Monday to Thursday run. Just picked up today.
xxkcxx
Bluelighter
*HI CARL!!*
I'm broke like a broken chair.
My friend is picking me up 2 tonight or tomorrow and then he owes me 3 when he gets paid.
On the 3rd I go back to the treatment center that I'm going to to appease my PO. It's for roughly 2 months, so I am going to try to get through it legit.
I'm broke like a broken chair.
My friend is picking me up 2 tonight or tomorrow and then he owes me 3 when he gets paid.
On the 3rd I go back to the treatment center that I'm going to to appease my PO. It's for roughly 2 months, so I am going to try to get through it legit.
xxkcxx
Bluelighter
Hey question for you guys:
I'm looking for a new sleeping pill, but I have a hard time finding them because my opioid and benzo tolerance seems to trump everything.
I get reactions to even 12.5 mg of seroquel, 200 mg of trazadone stopped working recently, I took 90 mg of restoril (temazepam) without even getting drowsy, benedryl doesn't work, remeron didn't work, and rozerem and ambien usually doesn't keep me asleep (even the CR kind). I took Lunesta awhile back and it did work, but this was before any drug abuse.
What do you guys take?
I am just so desperate for sleep and this has been for the past few weeks, even when I wasn't in wds. I thought I was just nervous about my court case so it was effecting my sleep, but I got off on the charge a week ago and I'm still only getting 4 at the maximum, fitful hours of sleep.
I'm looking for a new sleeping pill, but I have a hard time finding them because my opioid and benzo tolerance seems to trump everything.
I get reactions to even 12.5 mg of seroquel, 200 mg of trazadone stopped working recently, I took 90 mg of restoril (temazepam) without even getting drowsy, benedryl doesn't work, remeron didn't work, and rozerem and ambien usually doesn't keep me asleep (even the CR kind). I took Lunesta awhile back and it did work, but this was before any drug abuse.
What do you guys take?
I am just so desperate for sleep and this has been for the past few weeks, even when I wasn't in wds. I thought I was just nervous about my court case so it was effecting my sleep, but I got off on the charge a week ago and I'm still only getting 4 at the maximum, fitful hours of sleep.
artaxerxes
Bluelighter
xxkcxx
You didn't specify exactly what bad reactions you were having to 12.5 mg Seroquel. I only bring that up because Seroquel at 50-100mg works really well for sleep even if you're totally dopesick. (This is only my experience.)
If you're dopesick and acclimated to Seroquel, I would recommend 100-200mg Seroquel.
I know it's expensive. I have an ex-hippie psych whose motto is basically "Do the Drugs, Don't Let the Drugs Use You." He's also an enemy of the official US-approved drug cartel (pharmaceutical companies), so he gives me crazy samples of Seroquel. Thank God and this doctor that I have never had to pay for Seroquel.
But my point is just that Seroquel could work for you in higher doses. If I take 100mg, I'm out for 8 hours no matter how bad my psychological state is… ie. if I'm in panic attack mode, I can get to sleep on Seroquel.
What I use for sleep is Xanax at a really low dosage. I have been using Xanax for about 9 years now and I have been able to maintain my dosage (.5-1.5mg) during that entire time. This doesn't work for everybody, and for some an infinitely refillable Xanax script might cause further problems with potential addiction but I just wanted to throw it out there because it's been working for me for years.
Just to fill out the picture, before things got dire (MAJOR depression onset/breakdown), I used to use melatonin and benadryl to go to sleep. I would take 50mg of Benadryl (2 caps, generic), and I think 3 mgs of Melatonin (which is considered pretty low) and it worked great until I had a major breakdown and I couldn't sleep without more powerful meds, at which point I went on the Xanax.
Hope that helps. I know how horrible it is to exist on no sleep. so I wish you the best.
You didn't specify exactly what bad reactions you were having to 12.5 mg Seroquel. I only bring that up because Seroquel at 50-100mg works really well for sleep even if you're totally dopesick. (This is only my experience.)
If you're dopesick and acclimated to Seroquel, I would recommend 100-200mg Seroquel.
I know it's expensive. I have an ex-hippie psych whose motto is basically "Do the Drugs, Don't Let the Drugs Use You." He's also an enemy of the official US-approved drug cartel (pharmaceutical companies), so he gives me crazy samples of Seroquel. Thank God and this doctor that I have never had to pay for Seroquel.
But my point is just that Seroquel could work for you in higher doses. If I take 100mg, I'm out for 8 hours no matter how bad my psychological state is… ie. if I'm in panic attack mode, I can get to sleep on Seroquel.
What I use for sleep is Xanax at a really low dosage. I have been using Xanax for about 9 years now and I have been able to maintain my dosage (.5-1.5mg) during that entire time. This doesn't work for everybody, and for some an infinitely refillable Xanax script might cause further problems with potential addiction but I just wanted to throw it out there because it's been working for me for years.
Just to fill out the picture, before things got dire (MAJOR depression onset/breakdown), I used to use melatonin and benadryl to go to sleep. I would take 50mg of Benadryl (2 caps, generic), and I think 3 mgs of Melatonin (which is considered pretty low) and it worked great until I had a major breakdown and I couldn't sleep without more powerful meds, at which point I went on the Xanax.
Hope that helps. I know how horrible it is to exist on no sleep. so I wish you the best.
xxkcxx
Bluelighter
^ yeah, seroquel used to work really well for me (took up to 300mg), but I get akathasia (a lot like RLS symptoms you get when wding) from pharms that cross the BBB like Seroquel, Thorazine and Haldol.
I don't ALWAYS get it, but when i do it's bad enough to make me want to kill myself. So I just don't even want to risk it.
Also, I have a long history with Xanax and I get no strong effects anymore even at 10mg.
But thanks for the thoughtful post!
I don't ALWAYS get it, but when i do it's bad enough to make me want to kill myself. So I just don't even want to risk it.
Also, I have a long history with Xanax and I get no strong effects anymore even at 10mg.
But thanks for the thoughtful post!
Yea i went out to phoenix this past year to visit my girl. Brought 3 grams with me but of course it ran out before I was supposed to come home. Ended up getting some tar and while everyone else smoked it, I shot it. It looked disgusting and left a nasty residue in the spoon but i got high as fuck off it and when I got back I ended up detoxing and the w/d were much less than i normally experienced coming off my normal baltimore brown powder.
Tried tar for the first time. I'm half a century old and I've always been afraid of it, but curiosity and the poppy pod thread finally made me have a curiosity attack. I only took like four hits more or less, on foil, and then I smoked some weed. I feel excellent and I'm not nodding off.
Carl Landrover
Bluelighter
Sup girl!
So is that treatment center an inpatient thing?I've kind of had sleeping issues for a while and the drug use doesn't help...
The ONLY thing I've found that actually makes me tired and makes laying down so comfortable that it's EASY (usually) to fall asleep is running. Most exercise is good (and makes you feel good), but for me it's always been running. When I've been running and consistently (and am clean) I sleep more soundly and have more of a regular sleeping schedule.
Running's got all kinds of great benefits.
:D It ain't for everyone though, I know plenty of people who hate it. If you can just get through the first few weeks, you get used to it and it becomes enjoyable!
xxkcxx
Bluelighter
Well, see when I got the probation violation they wanted me to do 90 days inpatient, but they jerked me around forever and I ended up being clean 90 days on my own, so I convinced the judge that I should do outpatient.
In the end, he didn't sentence me to anything. Just said "looks like you are on track. See you in 2010 for your final probation court date."
So really, I don't have to do any kind of treatment by law, but I'm gonna stick with it to make the PO happy cause he wanted me in jail and is mad I got off.
Oh, so I had another sleepless night--tossed and turned the whole time and maybe got 3 hours total. My psychiatrist has still not called me back even though I called him Friday and yesterday. That's really nice I think. I'm debating telling him that since I was so out of my mind from not sleeping and all I could think about was how much I wanted to sleep, I did the one thing I knew would help--dope.
I probably won't tell him that, but it's sorta partially true.
Now, again, I'm waiting for my delivery. It really sucks having to rely on someone else for your fix. I was supposed to get it at 9 am. Now it might be noon, it might be 4, hell, it might be never.
In the end, he didn't sentence me to anything. Just said "looks like you are on track. See you in 2010 for your final probation court date."
So really, I don't have to do any kind of treatment by law, but I'm gonna stick with it to make the PO happy cause he wanted me in jail and is mad I got off.
Oh, so I had another sleepless night--tossed and turned the whole time and maybe got 3 hours total. My psychiatrist has still not called me back even though I called him Friday and yesterday. That's really nice I think. I'm debating telling him that since I was so out of my mind from not sleeping and all I could think about was how much I wanted to sleep, I did the one thing I knew would help--dope.
I probably won't tell him that, but it's sorta partially true.
Now, again, I'm waiting for my delivery. It really sucks having to rely on someone else for your fix. I was supposed to get it at 9 am. Now it might be noon, it might be 4, hell, it might be never.
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