Heroin/Opioid MEGA-Thread: Junkies check-in here!

[jtxtac]

I think I took a big step tonight.

My girl knows I used to use, but she thinks I've been clean since October 2006. Shameful I know.

Anyways, I told her tonight that I've been really stressed and have been craving it lately. She got really upset and was worried that I was going to start using again. She said early on she'd only break up with me if I cheated on her or went back to drugs.

It was nice to be able to talk about it with someone and to be able to hold on to what I could potentially lose.


Sometimes I can't believe how much I already fucked up.

Good Luck Man!!! I was blessed with a girl that is semi-understanding. She cares that I use, but wants me to be happy. It may be a blessing that I just moved back to NJ. I'm going crazy though because I loss all of my contacts. Relationships with a woman and relationships with Heroin is a tough thing.

 

[psynirvana01]

man if only there was heroin in the midwest%)

 

[xxkcxx]

there is, you just have to know where to find it.

I've read posts by plenty of people from Nebraska specifically who get their hands on dope.

I'm a dopefiend from the midwest, though Chicago-area so it is different.

 

[mrskatanic]

yup

i love oc's. i hate oc's. i love oc's. ok i like oc's. any way, just checking in.

 

[drug_wench]

man if only there was heroin in the midwest%)

actually ur blessed if u cant find it

kc - pauls doing so well....evryone round him at rehab keeps offering him drink but hes just dog-determined that hes going to get thru this time
evrytime i see him he looks more well
his first hearing is tomorrow

still no test results back
the cunt i shared needles with confirmed to his ex-gf (my friend) that hes hep C positive
ive already started looking after myself as much as poss
anyone know any gd liver-cleansing diets?
hey im not writing myself off yet but might as well do all i can to take care of myself!

also, does anyone know if cranberry juice does something strange to opioids?
i had a couple of glasses of it yesterday and started to feel really drowsy - not quite on the nod.....well verging on the nod minus the euphoria
then i had my suboxone and i was really drowsy
suboxone does not make me drowsy normally
pauls brother was on MMT and he reckoned he used to drink cranberry to potentiate his methadone....do u think this wud do the same to suboxone?
btw - no i am not trying to purposefully potentiate my suboxone 8(

 

[psynirvana01]

actually ur blessed if u cant find it


yeah right i wanna try that shit sounds fun...plus i got hella willpower

 

[Swerlz]

man if only there was heroin in the midwest%)

I say the same thing in South Florida.. If I still lived in the Jerz, I would have an even worse problem than I have now.. Thank God my parents yoked me from Jersey before I had the time to discover the stamps

 

[xxkcxx]

yeah right i wanna try that shit sounds fun...plus i got hella willpower

Dude...read some of the other posts in this thread and then tell us how "fun" it sounds.

And I'm gonna let you know that your "hella willpower" is not gonna be any match for lady H.


Posts like this really piss me off.

I don't care about people wanting to try it because I was told not to several times before I did and I still wanted it.

But I understood how much it ruined my friends' lives. I was just so depressed I didn't care. But to come here to TDS and give DW a "yeah right" is so ignorant I can't even handle it.

 

[psynirvana01]

Dude...read some of the other posts in this thread and then tell us how "fun" it sounds.

And I'm gonna let you know that your "hella willpower" is not gonna be any match for lady H.

dude i get oxycontins for free and i'm still not addicted, so that should mean something..but yeah it actually sounds fun, does this bother you? really though i know heroin is super addicting all i said was i think i can try it once, then your all like pissed off because you couldn't try it just once, and now your a strung out junkie.

 

[xxkcxx]

^ No, I got pissed off because your post was condescending and I've seen too many people on BL and in real life post the same thing you did and then a couple months later come back telling us how they are, in your words, "strung out junkies."

No one believes it will be them.

 

[placid space]

dude i get oxycontins for free and i'm still not addicted, so that should mean something..but yeah it actually sounds fun, does this bother you? really though i know heroin is super addicting all i said was i think i can try it once, then your all like pissed off because you couldn't try it just once, and now your a strung out junkie.

by the looks of it you been using opiates now for how long, three months ?

Im sorry to say but that really is not the test of your will power. People manage to chip for years before they start facing a serious addiction problem. But eventually pretty much everyone becomes emotionally f*cked and develops problems coping with the world without opiates.

And btw, the difference between oxys and H is not really that big. If I had my say id be using oxys more than H. You know what you get in terms of purity, they are easier to use and you function better on it.

 

[Carl Landrover]

dude i get oxycontins for free and i'm still not addicted, so that should mean something..but yeah it actually sounds fun, does this bother you? really though i know heroin is super addicting all i said was i think i can try it once, then your all like pissed off because you couldn't try it just once, and now your a strung out junkie.

I found it A LOT easier to control myself with oxy's than I did/do with dope.

It's kind of hard to just try it once. Usually if you find someone who buys/sells, they're buying/selling multiple times a week, if not daily.

 

[chicpoena]

actually ur blessed if u cant find it


yeah right i wanna try that shit sounds fun...plus i got hella willpower

You'd be surprised how fast that willpower recedes once you're in the throws of addiction.

I relapsed... again... about two weeks ago. Used for a week straight and then quit. I wish I had even just the slightest amount of self-control. I'm starting realize that I can't even have them in the house. At all. They drive me fucking insane.

 

[drug_wench]

awwww chic - ull get there hun
at least u manage to take breaks to let ur system recover
but maybe having them in the house isnt the best thing?

psynirvana - i agree with kc....pretty fucking condescending
i posted warning u cos i care
go thru this thread if u think H looks like so much fun
and dont go judging ppl ('strung out junkie') wen that cud very well b u, give it a few months of heroin use
id like to see how u really maintain that willpower wen uve just had ur first hit of fine china
i guarantee ull b back for more
at first just evry now and then
then more
and more
and more
then ull b a junkie like the rest of us
dont think uve got super-powers wen it comes to opiates - carls right....i personally found oxy use easier to control than H too
in general opiate use catches up with most ppl in the end
tho why im wasting my time telling u all this is beyond me cos ur probly laughing at this post right now 8(

anyway got hep C results back - by some miracle no i do not hav it
i vow if i ever relapse i will never share fits again
i wont vow never to relapse
lets b realistic

 

[xxkcxx]

anyway got hep C results back - by some miracle no i do not hav it
i vow if i ever relapse i will never share fits again
i wont vow never to relapse
lets b realistic

This is GREAT news!!!!


Chic: don't be so hard on yourself...it happens to the best of us. Just pick yourself back up and be happy that it was only a week and not a month, or six months, or a year. You must have a smidge of self control at least to quit after one week and not keep going.

 

[lady grey]

^ to you xxkcxx! Thank you for your post earlier in the thread and everyone else i so appreciate it!

J has gone into 28 day rehab today.. Please wish him luck guys I'm sure he would appreciate y'alls support!!

 

[chicpoena]

^Good luck to J! And congrats for him for having the courage to face his demons

DW you must be feeling so relieved!

 

[txchick007]

Any advice from anyone on how to get myself into a detox/rehab? I had AMAZING health insurance, but just lost it this month. So - no insurance. My husband just took off as well. I have 2 awesome kids, but a nasty Norco habit, that has gone from 3/day to 10/day (plus an average of 5 drinks per night). I know my body won't hold up for very long at this rate...I'm barely 100lbs. I need help now. Need to get my life back in order. Drugs have stolen my job, which was AMAZING...and paid GREAT.....now I'm jobless...I don't want my kids taken from me.. Advice please. Thank you!

 

[xxkcxx]

Ask hospitals in your area if they do charity for situations like yours. I know many Catholic hospitals do. I was able to get a free ride for 3 days in detox and then 6 months of outpatient rehab.

I'm not sure where you are from, but does the TX in your username stand for Texas? If so, and you are from the U.S. you can contact your state government to see what kind of aid they give.

Worse comes to worst, you there are hospitals that are state-funded and are strictly for people without insurance. They really aren't the nicest, but they are a resource and the people who work there are usually very good. They also understand you have no insurance so they will set you up with state clinics and things like that for aftercare once you leave.

 

[Carl Landrover]

carl, that was a big step
i dont know if ull ever tell her the truth or even if u shud if ur planning to do something about it anyway
but it took guts and i want to acknowledge u for that

why cant those test results get back? im losing a lot of sleep over them!

Judging by her reaction when I told her that I had been craving, I don't think I'll be telling her the truth. She doesn't mind that it used to be part of my life and that I'm still craving it now, she's just scared that I will go back to using. As shitty as it is to hide things like this, it would do a lot of damage to our relationship if I told her about those relapses. I'd rather try to move forward beyond using and pretend it didn't happen. Bad boyfriend

That is a big step. How long have you been together? What did you say to her when she said she was worried you would start using again?

Do you think this makes you more likely to actually quit since not she might be looking for signs that you are?

We've been together just over 10 months now. In 19 days, it'll be a year from the first time we talked.

The conversation basically went down with her asking me what I was thinking and I just came out and said that I had been getting worried about using what with 'the block' being so close to school and me being so stressed with work/school work/other lately.

I probably could have brought it up at a better time, but it was one of those things you just got to get off your chest.


I actually read your post a few days ago and have been debating your second question since then. She doesn't know enough about opiates to look for signs or anything, but I'd like to believe talking to her will help me quit.

It's more the feeling that I know I could go talk to her and she'd be there for me if I needed it. I don't really have anyone like that IRL. Plus, I think acknowledging outloud that I was feeling weak made it seem like it wasn't too big a deal, maybe that I was just building it up in my mind.


I've lost a lot because of heroin....I can deal with that. If I lost her because of it.....I don't know what I'd do. That'd be a sad existence for sure.