To everyone that wants a summarized version, I'll post a tldr (too long didn't read) at the bottom.
Hello, I've been following bluelight (Mainly OD, TDS, Healthy Living, and a few other sections) for at least 5 years now. I'm currently 19, and started using drugs at the age of 13. During my elementary school days, I went to a small private school, didn't have any friends really, got bullied on a usual basis.
Anyway, fast forward to 8th grade, and I eventually fell into the wrong crowd. It started with this one guy I met, let's call him J. Anyway, he introduced me to weed. It was amazing the first time I tried it, like this is how the world was supposed to always be. Anyway, started smoking on a regular basis with this kid, and soon, all his stoner-friends became my friends. I kept my grades up, everything was fine. One day, I was just looking in our medicine cabinet and found percocet 5/500. I told J, and he said to take one, should make me feel good. Tried one, didnt do much. Then tried more the next day, and holy shit! This felt nice! Soon me and J started snorting these in public places, like out front of a burger king at 6 am in the morning before school. (what the hell were we thinking?) Well, actually he snorted them, i told him the apap would clog his nose, but he refused to listen. Anyway, by the time we got in high school, smoking was a reguler thing, we got perc 10's once in awhile from a kid we knew, but rarely did we do it too much. Then one day, sophmore year, my mom had a surgery, and after she recovered, she left behind a huge bottle of hydromorphone 4mg's. I took them all. Holy shit those two weeks were pure bliss. Anyway, shortly thereafter, I got a physical, the doctor tested my blood. And found various drugs. Opiates, weed, barbituates, blah blah blah. (didnt bother mentioning other drugs, did them very occasionally) Anyway parents tried to help me, and eventually i was sober for about a month. Then I started smoking weed again, and did that for a year. Then my junior year, got a hookup for oxy 30's. Did those for about 6 months, did a lot of stupid shit for them. I worked at a gas station at the time, and would steal lottery tickets. I must of stole at least 5 grand, until they ffound out, luckily instead of calling the cops, they called my parents. My parents basicly took all the money I had saved up, which was about 4 grand, and gave them that and put another grand on top themselves. They were very dissapointed. Anyway, after this, I was actually sober for about 8 months, until my senior year. I always saw this kid, and he looked fucked up as shit nodding all the time, lets call him R. Anyway, long story short, he found me heroin connects, and we would drive up together and score. One day he used my phone to call his dealer, I saved the number. Found out this kid was overcharging me, <snippity> ugh i was so mad.
tldr;
Anyway, started going up by myself, and been doing heroin for the past 2 years. I've gone through withdrawl more times then I can count, and keep doing it anyway. Now, I'm at a point where I think I need to quit, I've had my fun. I'm on day 4, and luckily my withdrawls are fairly over, for some reason by day 2, for me, the worst is over. Anyway, I'm at a point now, I want to use really bad, and I have the means, but I know it will only hold me over for a couple of days, so that wouldnt be smart. Or I could buy some weed, or get some suboxone from a friend. I dont think I can not do anything and stay completely clean, it's just not a viable option for me, I know myself too well. Anyway, just wondering what you think my best option is. I'm mainly just looking for some kind of support.
Hello, I've been following bluelight (Mainly OD, TDS, Healthy Living, and a few other sections) for at least 5 years now. I'm currently 19, and started using drugs at the age of 13. During my elementary school days, I went to a small private school, didn't have any friends really, got bullied on a usual basis.
Anyway, fast forward to 8th grade, and I eventually fell into the wrong crowd. It started with this one guy I met, let's call him J. Anyway, he introduced me to weed. It was amazing the first time I tried it, like this is how the world was supposed to always be. Anyway, started smoking on a regular basis with this kid, and soon, all his stoner-friends became my friends. I kept my grades up, everything was fine. One day, I was just looking in our medicine cabinet and found percocet 5/500. I told J, and he said to take one, should make me feel good. Tried one, didnt do much. Then tried more the next day, and holy shit! This felt nice! Soon me and J started snorting these in public places, like out front of a burger king at 6 am in the morning before school. (what the hell were we thinking?) Well, actually he snorted them, i told him the apap would clog his nose, but he refused to listen. Anyway, by the time we got in high school, smoking was a reguler thing, we got perc 10's once in awhile from a kid we knew, but rarely did we do it too much. Then one day, sophmore year, my mom had a surgery, and after she recovered, she left behind a huge bottle of hydromorphone 4mg's. I took them all. Holy shit those two weeks were pure bliss. Anyway, shortly thereafter, I got a physical, the doctor tested my blood. And found various drugs. Opiates, weed, barbituates, blah blah blah. (didnt bother mentioning other drugs, did them very occasionally) Anyway parents tried to help me, and eventually i was sober for about a month. Then I started smoking weed again, and did that for a year. Then my junior year, got a hookup for oxy 30's. Did those for about 6 months, did a lot of stupid shit for them. I worked at a gas station at the time, and would steal lottery tickets. I must of stole at least 5 grand, until they ffound out, luckily instead of calling the cops, they called my parents. My parents basicly took all the money I had saved up, which was about 4 grand, and gave them that and put another grand on top themselves. They were very dissapointed. Anyway, after this, I was actually sober for about 8 months, until my senior year. I always saw this kid, and he looked fucked up as shit nodding all the time, lets call him R. Anyway, long story short, he found me heroin connects, and we would drive up together and score. One day he used my phone to call his dealer, I saved the number. Found out this kid was overcharging me, <snippity> ugh i was so mad.
tldr;
Anyway, started going up by myself, and been doing heroin for the past 2 years. I've gone through withdrawl more times then I can count, and keep doing it anyway. Now, I'm at a point where I think I need to quit, I've had my fun. I'm on day 4, and luckily my withdrawls are fairly over, for some reason by day 2, for me, the worst is over. Anyway, I'm at a point now, I want to use really bad, and I have the means, but I know it will only hold me over for a couple of days, so that wouldnt be smart. Or I could buy some weed, or get some suboxone from a friend. I dont think I can not do anything and stay completely clean, it's just not a viable option for me, I know myself too well. Anyway, just wondering what you think my best option is. I'm mainly just looking for some kind of support.
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