Heroin Junkie From Albany NY

[SuperDope]

Hi all!

First time I had the balls to muster up and join the forum after lurking for about two years....

Anyway here's my story! I have been a on and off again Heroin addict for about seven years. I prefer to sniff my dope as I am deathly afraid of needles. Anyway for the past year I have only been using on the weekends and holidays. I don't know why I started to use dope but it has had a grip on me and my life ever since. I use to be a weed dealer for years and was addicted to making money which was great until I was arrested for selling marijuana with intent to distribute. I went to prison with a sentence of 2 to four years to be served in the NY prison system. I re-located to Albany from NYC and quickly got my life back together. I went to Suny Albany and completed my four year degree in their business program. I found out that I was very good in school and graduated in the top of my class with a 3.95 GPA. The only thing that was holding me back was my class E Felony and nobody wanted to hire me. With some of the drug proceeds leftover I had about close to 100K left that I was never caught with and I was never caught with any money. My brother was a financial adviser and convinced me to buy a ton of Apple stock which I did right before the introduction of the I-pod. I then lived off of this money and continued to invest in Oracle and Royal Gold which continued to support my modest lifestyle in upstate NY. Then the market crashed and I lost alot of money and it was a crushing blow to my self-esteem!

Then I was introduced the heroin! YAY! Or so I thought at the time! I thought I was the man and was invincible! Still had my stock in a few companies and decided to cash in and take a trip to Europe with my Girlfriend. This is when I fell into my next business venture! We went on tour for four months all throughout Europe following Pearl Jam and The Rolling Stones. It was here that I bought my first concert poster to remember the evening by. The print was about 20 Euros and I was in love with the artist and the artwork. Just for shits and giggles I decided to look the print up on ebay and was shocked to see them selling for over 200 Euros. I was hooked and I put all of my time/energy into this business venture. While all if this is starting to get off the ground I found out my girlfriend is pregnant with my first son and only child. WOW! Was I in for a lifestyle change. So I quit my job and began my entire focus on family. Also I was sure that I would never have children so I was in pure shock....

I got clean and serene for almost a year plus life was good as my new business was really taking off. Fast forward three years and my son is four years old and just started school this week. But before the summer started my girl got really sick and was hospitalized for almost a month as they didn't know what was wrong with her. I literally lost it all! My habit began to pick up at a feverish pace as I was juggling parenting, business and just life in general. I began selling all of my inventory and making a killing on ebay and Christie's auction house. I used all of the money on heroin and was sniffing about 3-4 bundles a day. I lost my house and my entire collection as everything went to the drugs. My girl was so pissed at me and rightfully so. By the grace of God her Mother allowed us to move into her house near NYC so she could help me out with raising my son. I still continue to use which is really horrible I know! But i had to quit cold turkey at her house and it was the worst withdraw of my entire drug career. I had no subs or nothing to kill the withdraw's and the only time I could get something is when my girl would slip me something from her prescription of hydro's. Man did I feel like a complete and utter loser taking her meds so I wasn't sick. So now the situation is that I'm living with my family in her Mom's million dollar house on the first floor. I've been on my own since i was 15 and this is the first time I have ever needed help with supporting myself. I know it was the right move for my family as i thought moving away I wouldn't have any drug connects. But we all know that drug addicts will always find ways to get their heroin. Also my girl has been using with me as well and I really feel horrible about this but she is in so much pain from her surgeries that there just wasn't any other option. Man do I feel bad about this as if I wasn't taking her meds all of the time she would of have never made the switch. So now I'm only using on the weekends with her and we have been super lucky as I have a friend who has a steady sub script which has been a miracle drug to us. But as soon as we run out of subs which is usually on Friday I head down to Brooklyn to score from my connect that I went to school with. The problem is that the dope is twice as good as I was getting in Albany and half the price of what I was also paying. Anyway I feel like a total scumbag! But recently I had my felony conviction expunged from my record for staying out of trouble for so long and was offered a awesome job with NY LIFE selling life insurance. So basically I start my new job in two weeks and have to study for the licensing exam on the 24th. Man do I need to get my shit together so I can secure my license and get out of my girl's mom house. So I hope you guys can help me out with getting clean as I want to start a new chapter in my life so my son can have a great life. I found many stories on here inspiring and helpful! I just wanted to say thank you so much for all of the inspiration and stories that make me want to get clean.....

I know I can do this as I want the best life possible for my family and me! I have been with my girl for over 8 years and now we have a wonderful child together who is just plain awesome. Another problem is that he is so damn smart and remembers everything! I don't want him to remember that he has a JUNKIE for a father! But the thing is I just bought three bundles after being clean since Monday.....
Anyway sorry for the long ramble of a post! Just wanted to say Hi and thanks for everything. Thank God for Bluelight!

 

[haveyoufoundgod]

if you no longer have the strength to kick it by yourself detox, then rehab can really help if you're not too far gone. and you're really ready to quit. some people go in and realize that they aren't ready to give up their DOC and go right back out, but most people seek treatment again and when they are finally ready to BE helped, well it can turn your whole life around if you let it. i know think you can do it and i think you can too but it sounds like there are a lot of outside factors that could make it difficult for you. you seem like you're at a point where you're ready to be helped, and as little as on month of your life is a small price to pay if it means your son doesn't remember you as a junkie. it's the only reason i'm still alive and well today.
just something to think about. good luck.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

I would advise getting to a Suboxone doctor. Or getting into a methadone maintenance program.

Welcome to Bluelight, and best of luck in life. Thanks for sharing such an enticing story as well, it was fun to read.

 

[SuperDope]

I would advise getting to a Suboxone doctor. Or getting into a methadone maintenance program.

Welcome to Bluelight, and best of luck in life. Thanks for sharing such an enticing story as well, it was fun to read.

I've tried desperately to find a Suboxone doctor to no avail! They are either not taking any new clients or they don't except my insurance which is quite frustrating. I've called at least 50 doctors and most of them require you to be in a long term treatment program which I can't afford to do with this new job starting. Anytime I have Subs I'm and I'm not even taking that much maybe 4mg a day. I know if I could find a doctor in NY that I would be able to beat this demon. The thing is also is that I have drastically cut down on my Heroin intake by only consuming 3 bags a day which I split those 3 with my girl as well. I'm able still to get very high as the dope in NYC is very good mostly all of the time as I have a really reliable connect that I went to school with. I just don't understand that in today's society that I can't get prescribed a drug that will benefit me and my family over the long term? I just have cried at times at the frustration I have experienced in the obtaining Suboxone process. I'm at a loss and just don't what the fuck to do. Subs are really an amazing drug as I'm still able to function at a very high level with almost no withdraw symptoms at all. I know that if I had a Sub script for 6 months that I would be able to do this kicking thing once and for all! I've quit before by going cold turkey and that is just not an option with a young son in the picture as I don't want him to be subject to mood swings or anything like that....

Any suggestions on how I could get a Sub script in NY without having to go into a long term treatment program? Any help would be greatly appreciated!

thanks bluelighter's!

 

[SuperDope]

Not to mention that I have to pay a shit ton of money for one Sub in NY off my dealer/friend which is fine by me but the money is going to run out again very soon.... My friend also is selling me the Subs for what he gets them for which is great but it's still alot of money for two people to be splitting up and sharing all of the time. But I would do anything for my Girl as she has been with me through thick and thin which is saying alot since I know that I'm an asshole to begin with. But it is very hard in this day in age to find someone who will stay with you through your drug addiction over a eight year period. We have had a ton of good times but I'm afraid the bad times are starting to outweigh the good! I love her and my family dearly and just want to get rid of this shit in my life. She has been there when I had a ton of money and then when I had nothing at all not even a pot to piss in....

I am truly grateful for her in my life as she is for sure my soul mate. God I love her!

 

[Captain.Heroin]

I'm really sorry to hear you cannot find a doctor!

Keep looking. I'm sure you can find a doctor who can help you out, even if it's a long drive.

 

[ComfortablyNumb95]

I'm in Albany msg me if u need anythin

Hi, first off you're replying to a thread that's almost 4 years old, second your post looks a lot like sourcing.
Remember that you cannot sell/buy drugs through this site.
Feel free to PM me if you need further information and remember to read the BLUA before posting, thanks for your attention.