TDS Heroin : I have to stop like 2 months ago...I could use some advice.

[claravoiant]

I've been homeless East Bay, Oakland/ Berkeley for about 10 years.
I have been a chronic pain patient on a significant dose of opiates for over 20 years.
Beyond stpid nurse practioner decided that my pain was do to unresolved trauma and due to the street value of my prescribed meds decided to cut me off. No tapering nada.
So... I decided to start using Heroin.
So now 4 years later I'm flat broke.. wondering if I shld do a pay day loan on my meager disability... I'm scared.
I'm getting stuff lately that isn't any good and I want to stop.
I need to see a doctor who knows about my connective tissue disorder which is getting worse but I've managed to keep my use undetected so far.
I've thought about methadone. I'm lacking the CYPd26 enzyme totally and not sure if it will work on me and I know it prob won't help on the intractable pain angle but I'm not in a space where going thru w/d is gonna work.
I tried Kratom but nothing. I don't know if it is my missing enzyme genetic no drugs except non synthetic opiates work.
Help.
I finally got a voucher for housing and I've been trying to hang on until I'm inside my own space to deal with a few weeks of hell and a good friend who has promised to stand by.
I can't afford to continue getting taken. Getting bad dope, I gotta get real medical care .. I finally told my case manager yesterday who promised to keep his mouth shut and help me figure out a viable solution to where I can go for a few weeks to get thru the initial withdrawals doing this in a tent is not a great option... I bought in quantity this month and it was garbage.
You know the I keep doing more thinking it's just me but it's not and I'm out when this shda lasted a entire month.. wtf.
Enevitable ... Last month I my new connect threatened to kill me cause I fired his ass after he tried to tell me there were only 4 grams to a quarter ... So I've had this creep stalking me...
Sorry.. sidenote
I'm 63. Too old to be copping under freeways and Bart tracks. Acting like I know what I'm doing and running into so many bizarre situations.. I've been lucky so far but I knew my " walking with angels isn't gonna last".
So I'm so ready to stop this.
Any suggestions as to how to make this easier.... I'm alone and really scared...

 

[Oleander]

IMO, do not go on methadone, that is just trading one addiction for another. The wd’s are horrible, almost worse than heroin if not worse, and it’s a long withdrawal. If you want to go on something for the wd’s and pain, maybe check out suboxone? Medical will pay for it, so you don’t have to buy it on the streets, and it’s better than going to the methadone clinic every morning. I would try to see if you can get into a place to detox. They have places specifically just for detoxing and you just stay there while you go through it. Maybe while your there, tour case manager or someone can help you find some housing. Or, actually I just read you got your voucher. Idk if it’s section 8, but if it is, in Cali you can get a place with section 8 for like $25-$30 a month for rent and they give you money for furnish it. “Housing works la” is a foundation that helps addicts get off the streets and into a house so they can get clean. I know your in NorCal but maybe if you check it out they might have something up around your area. I hope things get better for you and start to work out. Please message me if you want to talk or have any questions

 

[claravoiant]

Okay...I somehow managed to get off H. I decided to go for the Bernese method the fking prob was the I'd been waiting til I recieved 10g of what I was owed / got some absolute not sure what it was ,. Certainly not H. I hate going underbridges scandalous fiends...Waited til I heard " he is gone " wtf that means in the real world of bussiness stuck in this apt far far away from anything I know....so...first I tried what I had of unwashed poppy seeds...nutton...then the Kratom I found in the trash ......doing this during h w/d no plan...
Projectile vomiting ...friend comes over to help.lol..leave me with a puppy they had for only 5 days and says back in 4 hours..I know better. No lease, no dog food and I can barely make it to the bathroom...." Non friend comes back 3 days later.." puppy has chewed through most cords made a mess...I love dogs..why would anyone in their right mind do this this to me ?
Somewhere along the line I started to do slivers of subs ..yuk omg..helped w the pain..but that stuff is pure evil...made me sick...putting under tounge told to spit it out..
Sensitive stomach and constant dry mouth from Sjorgrens syndrome and hypermobile Ehler Danlos...( Fraction of the disability list ) so after I tried to stick it under my tounge it morphed elsewhere...but I ended up doing about 3 weeks of sections of subs then couldn't take not feeling cannot get high off pot...numb flat just altered...waiting for myself to feel normal....H normal. Pre h normal..not
So 4 days ago I quit the subs...was sure on the second day all hell would break lose but nuttin...slept...sorta...huh I don't get it.i shld be doing a happy dance but ?
WTF I'm fine...no restless legs, nuttin..
No agency health care over me ....( According to the " system" no substance abuse...which is where I need to keep it if I can...I've been putting off seeing MDs because of my 4-5year let's do H for pain since the fking county pulled all my meds for no good reason.
Know the reality..3 weeks + r gone...2 legal actions that had to be filed against the homeless poverty pimps for violating the ADA via moi maybe 2 late..+ history as far a status go.
My main issue is CRPS, the torn rotator that never mended in my left shoulder and base of skull insane cannot even describe it...( Base if skull always there but full throttle...clothes hurt my spine/ neck, clothes, blankets r too heavy for me, they literally hurt me. I'm down to those packable lite down vests jackets , compression leggings and 5 finger toe shoes...
Sorry I degreesed.
Sq one. I have no Kratom.
I got nothing to help w this pain...I've stayed in bed 4 days..as long as I'm flat with my neck supported I'm ok.
I can't function. This was were I was when I decided to start this fuck the nurse practitioner who yanked my meds for no good reason other than malpractice. I've been on high dose prescribe opiates since 1988ish....then cancer happened so I was ok...never doubled up.never ran out. I hate this war on nothing...
I'm getting close to jumping off again...I can not even bend over to pick something up hurts to much to lift anything..
Any ideas or other options ? I'm all ears..
I feel fine.no w/d just can't deal with this pain.
I don't wanna pray to die in my sleep again. I cannot go back 2 bedbound...
This suxs..
Of course I have a new avenue of relieve.wtf do I wanna start over something I cannot afford 2 do again ?

 

[claravoiant]

IMO, do not go on methadone, that is just trading one addiction for another. The wd’s are horrible, almost worse than heroin if not worse, and it’s a long withdrawal. If you want to go on something for the wd’s and pain, maybe check out suboxone? Medical will pay for it, so you don’t have to buy it on the streets, and it’s better than going to the methadone clinic every morning. I would try to see if you can get into a place to detox. They have places specifically just for detoxing and you just stay there while you go through it. Maybe while your there, tour case manager or someone can help you find some housing. Or, actually I just read you got your voucher. Idk if it’s section 8, but if it is, in Cali you can get a place with section 8 for like $25-$30 a month for rent and they give you money for furnish it. “Housing works la” is a foundation that helps addicts get off the streets and into a house so they can get clean. I know your in NorCal but maybe if you check it out they might have something up around your area. I hope things get better for you and start to work out. Please message me if you want to talk or have any questions

Posted below your answer...doing this all wrong

 

[claravoiant]

Okay...I somehow managed to get off H. I decided to go for the Bernese method the fking prob was the I'd been waiting til I recieved 10g of what I was owed / got some absolute not sure what it was ,. Certainly not H. I hate going underbridges scandalous fiends...Waited til I heard " he is gone " wtf that means in the real world of bussiness stuck in this apt far far away from anything I know....so...first I tried what I had of unwashed poppy seeds...nutton...then the Kratom I found in the trash ......doing this during h w/d no plan...
Projectile vomiting ...friend comes over to help.lol..leave me with a puppy they had for only 5 days and says back in 4 hours..I know better. No lease, no dog food and I can barely make it to the bathroom...." Non friend comes back 3 days later.." puppy has chewed through most cords made a mess...I love dogs..why would anyone in their right mind do this this to me ?
Somewhere along the line I started to do slivers of subs ..yuk omg..helped w the pain..but that stuff is pure evil...made me sick...putting under tounge told to spit it out..
Sensitive stomach and constant dry mouth from Sjorgrens syndrome and hypermobile Ehler Danlos...( Fraction of the disability list ) so after I tried to stick it under my tounge it morphed elsewhere...but I ended up doing about 3 weeks of sections of subs then couldn't take not feeling cannot get high off pot...numb flat just altered...waiting for myself to feel normal....H normal. Pre h normal..not
So 4 days ago I quit the subs...was sure on the second day all hell would break lose but nuttin...slept...sorta...huh I don't get it.i shld be doing a happy dance but ?
WTF I'm fine...no restless legs, nuttin..
No agency health care over me ....( According to the " system" no substance abuse...which is where I need to keep it if I can...I've been putting off seeing MDs because of my 4-5year let's do H for pain since the fking county pulled all my meds for no good reason.
Know the reality..3 weeks + r gone...2 legal actions that had to be filed against the homeless poverty pimps for violating the ADA via moi maybe 2 late..+ history as far a status go.
My main issue is CRPS, the torn rotator that never mended in my left shoulder and base of skull insane cannot even describe it...( Base if skull always there but full throttle...clothes hurt my spine/ neck, clothes, blankets r too heavy for me, they literally hurt me. I'm down to those packable lite down vests jackets , compression leggings and 5 finger toe shoes...
Sorry I degreesed.
Sq one. I have no Kratom.
I got nothing to help w this pain...I've stayed in bed 4 days..as long as I'm flat with my neck supported I'm ok.
I can't function. This was were I was when I decided to start this fuck the nurse practitioner who yanked my meds for no good reason other than malpractice. I've been on high dose prescribe opiates since 1988ish....then cancer happened so I was ok...never doubled up.never ran out. I hate this war on nothing...
I'm getting close to jumping off again...I can not even bend over to pick something up hurts to much to lift anything..
Any ideas or other options ? I'm all ears..
I feel fine.no w/d just can't deal with this pain.
I don't wanna pray to die in my sleep again. I cannot go back 2 bedbound...
This suxs..
Of course I have a new avenue of relieve.wtf do I wanna start over something I cannot afford 2 do again ?

This all maybe put in the wrong place. I'm using a really cracked phone..so sorry.
BTW the subs did help the pain some to make it so i could quasi function..made my brain feel detached...more like full body novacaine.
I do not have 2 copies of the CYPd26 enzyme so the n part of the subs I cannot process and subs and drone are both on my DNA profile of maynot break down to be able to utilize properly or eliminate from my system...pro drugs do not work on me...
That's why I thought behaps Kratom was a huh nuttin when I tried it a few years ago.

 

[claravoiant]

Posted below your answer...doing this all wrong

That was a answer 2 myself...I realized that.
What do I do ?

 

[claravoiant]

Posted below your answer...doing this all wrong

Thanks...help...I realize posting wrong..I'm sure everything else I'm doing is backassed stupid..
I'm scared and I literally cannot move very well.
So ..advice needed.
Thank u

 

[TargetX]

This all maybe put in the wrong place. I'm using a really cracked phone..so sorry.
BTW the subs did help the pain some to make it so i could quasi function..made my brain feel detached...more like full body novacaine.
I do not have 2 copies of the CYPd26 enzyme so the n part of the subs I cannot process and subs and drone are both on my DNA profile of maynot break down to be able to utilize properly or eliminate from my system...pro drugs do not work on me...
That's why I thought behaps Kratom was a huh nuttin when I tried it a few years ago.

Methadone isn't a prodrug, it doesn't need to be metabolized to work, it needs to be metabolized to get removed from your system. If you can put up with going to the clinic everyday for a while and are looking for longer term maintenance, it is great for controlling cravings and getting you stable. It is an effective painkiller, but the duration of analgesia is much shorter than the half life. What this means is it can keep you out of withdrawals and suppress cravings for 24 hours on a single dose, but it only might relieve pain for 6-12 hours. As is it a full agonist, it feels like traditional opiates, however much less intense. Subutex/suboxone/buprenorphine is a partial agonist and feels quite different.

Getting on methadone maintenance solely for pain refief purposes is a really bad idea. Getting on it because you have horrible pain that you used heroin to treat is a good reason IMO. Using heroin is a bad idea, but in your case having nothing is not really any better. The stability it can offer can offer a real improvement in your mental health too, which can be a major issue with chronic pain and addiction and is just as important to treat as the physical side

 

[Liminality]

I'm really sorry about what's happened. The situation with the dog is awful, I love dogs too, but that's really hard to deal with when you are suffering. And the nurse...sometimes you just get someone who doesn't like the look of you and uses the new hard-line approach because they think they are "helping" you.
I'm so sorry, your situation sounds really hard.

I got off Heroin with the help of suboxone. It immediately satisfied that strong urge for opiates. I think Heroin is so powerful it really messes with your reward system and makes it incredibly hard to not do it again. I felt like I would give my whole life up for a lifetime supply of heroin, scary that I was really considering ways to do that.

Suboxone took a while to get used to, it gets better the longer you are on it. I could still get high on pot, in fact, it was extremely pleasurable mixed with subs, so I'm not sure what is happening there?

As for your pain issue. I would avoid methadone. Unless you are okay with being really doped up, but not very happy. It might take away the pain though. I don't think methadone is a good option, everyone I have seen on it is not very functional. Too doping; seems to really dull your mind, you become too numb, you become very different.

Kratom was okay, to begin with, but then once tolerance set in it made me depressed/worn out from the adrenal(?) stimulation it has. The pain relief was shorter and shorter, then nonexistent beyond avoiding withdrawal.
There's always long-acting dissociatives. But that's probably a really bad idea. And not good for sleep.

If it were me I would think overall the best for pain relief + general functionality + cost efficiency would be:
Subutex 1-2mg a day in small doses + 200-300mg tramadol a day [100 in the morning +50 every hour until you are where you need to be, the pain relief is better this way].
Cannabis as needed for extra relief/nighttime sleep.

Depending on how you react to tramadol: I'm really unsure about this with your CYP2D6 condition. It says 20% higher levels and 40% higher M1 (o-desmethyl tramadol) metabolite. So, to me, that seems like you'd be higher for longer? So don't take as much?
This synergizes very well with the Subutex for pain relief and general anti-depressant effects. A low dose of both should allow you to avoid the sick feeling that high dose buprenorphine can give, and avoid tolerance from the tramadol for a lot longer. I didn't find any tolerance to Subutex, and weaning off it bit by bit after 5 years was really easy I thought.
For me the Subutex was pretty cheap on the program from the Dr. It's very cheap on the black market/darknet if you know where to look.

The tramadol maybe you can get prescribed? I don't see why not, for your situation its a hell of a lot better than H, oxy, methadone, etc. Or, the darknet again. Be aware it is definitely addictive and tolerance builds, maybe take a day off twice a week to keep it sustainable. The w/d is quite bad, that's why I suggest it in combination rather than just using it all the time.
I don't know though, I found that combination to be quite intoxicating as it builds in your system, can nod off easily once cannabis is involved.
Pretty addictive, but I don't really know what else might help.

I hope you find something sustainable. Good luck.

 

[Mafioso]

going on methadone to help mange pain and cravings while utilizing social services to clean yourself up a bit and there are a lot of fairly easy jobs you could work that aren't physically demanding. Salvation Army has a free rehab program where you work off the cost of treatment basically and in the end develop at least one job skill, It's usually like warehousing or shipping/receiving type jobs, some of which are pretty easy from what I've heard.

 

[Painful One]

I just wanted to give you a hug.

My heart really goes out to you. Going through all this illness and pain is bad enough without having the homeless issue added.
DAMN this country and the stupidity of leaving people in unmanageable chronic pain!

 

[claravoiant]

I'm really sorry about what's happened. The situation with the dog is awful, I love dogs too, but that's really hard to deal with when you are suffering. And the nurse...sometimes you just get someone who doesn't like the look of you and uses the new hard-line approach because they think they are "helping" you.
I'm so sorry, your situation sounds really hard.

I got off Heroin with the help of suboxone. It immediately satisfied that strong urge for opiates. I think Heroin is so powerful it really messes with your reward system and makes it incredibly hard to not do it again. I felt like I would give my whole life up for a lifetime supply of heroin, scary that I was really considering ways to do that.

Suboxone took a while to get used to, it gets better the longer you are on it. I could still get high on pot, in fact, it was extremely pleasurable mixed with subs, so I'm not sure what is happening there?

As for your pain issue. I would avoid methadone. Unless you are okay with being really doped up, but not very happy. It might take away the pain though. I don't think methadone is a good option, everyone I have seen on it is not very functional. Too doping; seems to really dull your mind, you become too numb, you become very different.

Kratom was okay, to begin with, but then once tolerance set in it made me depressed/worn out from the adrenal(?) stimulation it has. The pain relief was shorter and shorter, then nonexistent beyond avoiding withdrawal.
There's always long-acting dissociatives. But that's probably a really bad idea. And not good for sleep.

If it were me I would think overall the best for pain relief + general functionality + cost efficiency would be:
Subutex 1-2mg a day in small doses + 200-300mg tramadol a day [100 in the morning +50 every hour until you are where you need to be, the pain relief is better this way].
Cannabis as needed for extra relief/nighttime sleep.

Depending on how you react to tramadol: I'm really unsure about this with your CYP2D6 condition. It says 20% higher levels and 40% higher M1 (o-desmethyl tramadol) metabolite. So, to me, that seems like you'd be higher for longer? So don't take as much?
This synergizes very well with the Subutex for pain relief and general anti-depressant effects. A low dose of both should allow you to avoid the sick feeling that high dose buprenorphine can give, and avoid tolerance from the tramadol for a lot longer. I didn't find any tolerance to Subutex, and weaning off it bit by bit after 5 years was really easy I thought.
For me the Subutex was pretty cheap on the program from the Dr. It's very cheap on the black market/darknet if you know where to look.

The tramadol maybe you can get prescribed? I don't see why not, for your situation its a hell of a lot better than H, oxy, methadone, etc. Or, the darknet again. Be aware it is definitely addictive and tolerance builds, maybe take a day off twice a week to keep it sustainable. The w/d is quite bad, that's why I suggest it in combination rather than just using it all the time.
I don't know though, I found that combination to be quite intoxicating as it builds in your system, can nod off easily once cannabis is involved.
Pretty addictive, but I don't really know what else might help.

I hope you find something sustainable. Good luck.

Thank u for answering.
I have a double CYPd26.
Non existent..
I cannot break down or process Tramadol
Gave me seratotin syndrome.

 

[claravoiant]

Thank u for answering.
I have a double CYPd26.
Non existent..
I cannot break down or process Tramadol
Gave me seratotin syndrome.

I'm sitting waiting to get had at the moment.
I'm in so much pain..Kratom is a joke..I hadnt done any heroin in over 2 - 3 weeks ..
The slivers of subs...I wasn't in w/d and my pain was dulled. I felt like a zombie...slivers of a 4 my subs....the CYPd26 cannot break down the naloxone..I know it's hardly there.but I was feeling like I was gonna go I to Ana...swollen..edema yuk...didn't feel in my body...now omg...4 days no subs.....pain is too bad...
I wish I CLD see what I've typed on this phone it's so cracked.
Thank u for responding.

I just wanted to give you a hug. ❤

My heart really goes out to you. Going through all this illness and pain is bad enough without having the homeless issue added.
DAMN this country and the stupidity of leaving people in unmanageable chronic pain!

Bless you.I cannot believe the stupidly of non prpfits and the people In government who fund them. I was fine til I got involved w a non profit....What they do to the homeless if crimminal.

 

[claravoiant]

I hav

IMO, do not go on methadone, that is just trading one addiction for another. The wd’s are horrible, almost worse than heroin if not worse, and it’s a long withdrawal. If you want to go on something for the wd’s and pain, maybe check out suboxone? Medical will pay for it, so you don’t have to buy it on the streets, and it’s better than going to the methadone clinic every morning. I would try to see if you can get into a place to detox. They have places specifically just for detoxing and you just stay there while you go through it. Maybe while your there, tour case manager or someone can help you find some housing. Or, actually I just read you got your voucher. Idk if it’s section 8, but if it is, in Cali you can get a place with section 8 for like $25-$30 a month for rent and they give you money for furnish it. “Housing works la” is a foundation that helps addicts get off the streets and into a house so they can get clean. I know your in NorCal but maybe if you check it out they might have something up around your area. I hope things get better for you and start to work out. Please message me if you want to talk or have any questions
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