Heroin, Heaven, and Hell

[GirlInterrupted]

High:

I have found heaven and its inside a syringe
To unlock the doors of heaven all I have to do is insert it in me
I watch the sunset though plastic windows
The universes energy all inside of me
I'm a blooming poppy under the warm rays of the sun
My soul is in a state of peace
Its So beautiful that I could die this very second
& not worry about the mistakes I have made or the things I have yet to do
All I need and will ever want are right here in my veins
circulating throughout my entire body
At this moment there is no such thing as pain
All the pleasures of dying without actually dying

Withdrawls:

My mind is trapt in hell
My body is rotting and dying
Unable to move
Unable to feel
I swear dying is much easier than this
Voices are telling me just to choose death
I cant get myself to see the monster I have created
All I can think about is scoring
I cant stand this feeling
I'm so selfish I could kill right now just to feel better

Kicking:

I finally see the irreversible mess that I have created
So many people I have hurt
I try to fight the monster for the ones I love
People say I'm getting stronger
Honestly I feel like everyday I'm getting weaker
The monster has already won
Look at me
I dont feel human at all
I havent felt happiness in so long I forgot how it feels
I'm always too busy thinking about dope and feeling bad for myself
I cant enjoy simple things anymore
I'm just not me anymore
Dope came and left stealing a big part of my soul that I cant ever take back

 

[lozgod]

That sums it up perfectly. Wish I never met that heroine. She took the hero out of me. I love her more than myself.

 

[oliphill]

Nice poem, I refer to it as the monster too!

lozgod - Once the divorce is granted it will be difficult, but you will get over it!

 

[brimz]

Enjoyed your Poem

 

[unsettled]

good poem, why do I only remember the first part? I guess that's the problem with heroin

 

[smackncheese]

Holy wow! Well said, man.

Your humanity will come back. You're gonna feel disconnected and awkward for a bit because of the lack of endorphins in your skull.. but you can take your soul back. I'm struggling with this myself, but I have seen a lot of people bounce back from this and end up even better people than before. I wish you well.